Girls, You Yourself Spoil Men

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

By virtue of his profession, he saw enough of hundreds of women who believed her husband, and after 10-15 years he packed up his things and left. And she is without a profession and without a job, at 40 she is completely helpless. And it's also good if he helps the child or left her something, there are even worse cases.

Often women drive the relationship into a dead end, following typical "patterns" of behavior and not realizing that their actions negatively affect both the man's character and his behavior.

I'll start with this sketch: a child appears in a family. After the first days, when the excitement and shock subsided, the husband says to his wife: "Honey, I have to get up early in the morning for work, let me sleep." In 90% of cases, a woman will take it for granted and will do everything so that the child does not interfere with his own father's sleep at night.

On special occasions, he will even go to sleep in another room so that the husband sleeps normally. Her logic is simple: he feeds his family, he needs to rest. As if, when the husband leaves for work, the woman herself will go to bed, recovering from a sleepless night.

Yes, but on weekends the peasant should not be disturbed either: he must rest, he was working! Moreover: if on the weekend the husband expresses a desire to take a walk with a stroller, he will be a hero and a fine fellow! Is it okay that she herself walked 2 times a day all weekdays? This, for a moment, is not her personal, but their common child!

And in this situation, alas, it is the woman who is to blame, since she helps her in every possible way. And this is a mistake not only because a woman drives herself out, overwork, but also from the point of view of the integrity of the family (a "diaspora" mother + child is formed, the father exists separately).

The likelihood that in the future the father and the child will have a warm, trusting relationship is significantly reduced. The most annoying thing is that the family loses a sense of community, a sense of unity, when there are no separate project participants with distributed responsibilities, but there is a team that together cope with all the tasks.

"When can I leave the child with the father?" some people ask me. The answer is: as soon as we arrived from the hospital. They fed them - and went to the hairdresser, for a walk or to a girlfriend. For 1-2 hours, a newborn can be assigned to dad. It will only benefit everyone.

Then our baby grows up, he turns 3 years old, you can go to the garden, and mom to work. And here often from the side of the man follows the following approach: “Why do you need to work? I earn a good living, take care of my family."

Naturally, the wife's salary will be lower, because he worked for three years, while she was with the child, he somehow already advanced, and she needs to start after a three-year break. And here it is very important not to succumb to this provocation.

By virtue of my profession, I have seen enough of hundreds of such women who believed my husband, and after 10-15 years he packed up and left. And she is without a profession and without a job, she has already lost her skills and at the age of about 40 turns out to be completely helpless. And it's also good if he helps the child or left her something, there are even worse cases.

Understand one simple thing: by asking you not to work, your man is NOT caring about you. He takes care of himself. This is either an attempt to protect you from social contacts, out of jealousy or other considerations, or an attempt to hide his fear of being unsuccessful against your background, or he is simply neurotic and wants to suppress you, he gets pleasure from the process itself.

Any, and I emphasize this, any woman who sits at home for years and deals only with household and children, degrades. It's unavoidable. And in the end, a man becomes bored with his wife, he begins to consider her stupid, and then half a step until the divorce. And note: initially the man did not insist on anything, it was the woman who happily and clapping her hands decided to stay at home.

Another aspect: women often complain that men have become greedy. You can't beg for anything, the prices all seem overpriced to them, they don't go to a restaurant - it's expensive, even if in fact it's affordable. Where are the legs from? From the same place.

If a man said the phrase “Oh, what an expensive restaurant!” And the woman responded: “Let's go somewhere else,” that's it, she lost. Correct answer: "Probably very tasty here, let's try?" On the other hand, begging for gifts is also a way to develop greed in a man. This is the opposite extreme and should also be avoided.

The third type of typical female behavior that spoils a man is behavior that is characterized by the phrase "myself". I will wash it myself, I will cook it myself, I will put the child to bed, sit, step away, do not bother, rest, I myself. Very soon the man will get used to the fact that his help is not needed, and will lie down on the sofa without remorse. He offered, they said "no need", well, great.

In fact, it all comes down to what I talk about at every lecture: you don't have to endure, you don't have to put yourself below a man, you don't have to give in. If you need help - tell me, if you don't like his behavior - tell me. Once!

The lover will hear and change his behavior, the indifferent will continue as if nothing had happened. It also works in the opposite direction: decide for yourself, you accept it with such peculiarities - accept it and do not complain, do not drink and do not take your brain out. If you do not accept - go away, do not shake your nerves either to him or to yourself.

And the last rule: in public - no showdown. In public, you are a team, you only support each other. Relationships are clarified in private. And never condemn a person, condemn an action, an act. “You don’t help me much around the house,” yes. "You are a lazy brute," no.

Moreover, one cannot compare a person with others: "But Vasya …" Or: "But Lenkin's husband …" If Vasya became a boss, but your husband does not, it means that he does not want or cannot be a boss. Want a boss husband? Look, full of idle bosses.

Also, don't let anyone compare you. Want a slender blonde and are you an overweight brunette? Go ahead, let him look for his ideal. Each person is valuable in the complex, and you cannot take character, denying appearance, and vice versa. Do not humiliate the person that he does not correspond to the ideal in your head, and do not let yourself be humiliated.