2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
My dear parents, dad and mom!
I thought for a long time and decided to write a letter in which I want to ask you about some important things for me …
Admit my feelings, whatever they are. That's important for me. So I will know that you accept me differently and love me. And if I do not understand what is happening to me, help me deal with them.
Do not hinder me to develop and be independent. To do this, you do not need to do everything for me and instead of me: choose friends for me to be friends with, choose my hobbies, books that I read, music that I should listen to … Otherwise, I will grow up dependent on you and will not be able to make more important decisions In my life.
Don't criticize me, don't point me to my mistakes. Give me the right to them. I myself must notice and try to fix them. It is very difficult to live in constant criticism, condemnation, it causes tension and alienates me from you.
Only promise me what you can accomplish. It will be very difficult for me to believe you after you deceive me. Even once.
Don't be afraid to show your firmness. It is important for me to see the support in you. Then I understand that any difficulties I will also be on my shoulder.
Hug me more often, kiss me. I need it at any age. So I see that no matter what happens, I have you, and you love me.
Talk to me about me and yourself. It is important for me to know equally about your life, your experience, your childhood, just as you know about me. Ask me what is important to me and how my day went. So I understand that you are not indifferent.
Answer my frank questions. If I ask, it is important for me to get an answer from you. And if I don't get this answer, I will try to find it elsewhere and stop asking these questions.
Understand that it is important for me to learn from my experience and to have the opportunity to do so. Whatever mistakes you make, it is important for me to "stumble" on them at least once in order to get this experience. And maybe this will teach me not to repeat them in the future.
Do not follow my lead when I ask to buy something, do not spoil me too much. I need experience to be able to do without something. Do not replace purchases with your attention and care towards me. No toy or gadget can replace you for me.
It is very difficult for me when there is no sequence in your actions. It prevents me from forming my boundaries, it is confusing. You have to rely on yourself in decisions (if you cannot agree with each other, or once you prohibit something, and the other time you allow the same thing).
Do not educate me by force, shouting, beating. As I get older, you won't have a single lever that you can push to influence me. It humiliates, and I cease to respect you.
Do not interrogate me in different questions and situations. If I want to tell you about what is happening to me, I will definitely do it. But in your words and eyes, I must see acceptance and understanding. Otherwise, I will close myself from you and start lying to you.
Perhaps you think that I do not know how to behave (although this is not so). And because of this, you make a lot of comments to me. You do not need to do this, especially in the presence of strangers. I can become deaf to your calls, remarks, claims, and this will alienate me from you.
Respect my opinion. To a choice, to thoughts, to what is important to me. It will be easier for me to listen to your opinion and also respect it.
Be patient with me when I need time for something. Decide, make a decision, make a choice, talk about something, and even show your feelings. Be there, but sometimes silently. And if I need your help, I will be sure that I can turn to you.
Don't compare me to others. It is important for me to feel my uniqueness. Then I will be able to make the right choices in my life, relying on myself (and not “like others”) and bear responsibility for them. Your faith in my uniqueness will help me choose my path.
Believe in me and my strength! This will support me for many years to come.
Say you love me. After all, I do you too. Very.
With love to you, your child.
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