Library Of Knowledge About Myself

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Usually people, believing that they have studied themselves well and know, rely on a library of knowledge about themselves. In human life, a lot of things happened, a lot of things made an impression on a person, they remembered - all this was deposited in the library of knowledge (speaking about this, I imagine a library card index, where some data are written on each card, and my friend, IT woman, uses the term "cache"). It contains information about loved ones ("This is a grandmother, she is already old, she loves cherry jam, knitting mittens and telling how she saw Lenin teach life"), and about myself and my passions ("I am not good at algebra and love chocolate terribly"), and about the world around you ("No one is interested in watching you cry; you only annoy everyone with your problems, so be cheerful, conflict-free and problem-free") - well, for example.

The knowledge library is not bad at all. On the contrary, it's good. Those who have lost their memory (and with it their entire library of knowledge) are treated. In one of Stanislav Lem's novels, people who landed on a distant planet lost their memory and completely lost their orientation in the world around them; for example, soap was found at the site of their deaths with teeth bite marks. Well, people did not remember what they do with soap, and this knowledge was lost.

1. The library of knowledge about oneself and the world greatly relieves the RAM: “So, last time I ordered a steak and potatoes, and I think I liked it; it means that today I will order again - my beloved, potatoes!"
2. The knowledge library saves a lot of time: it is enough to collect information about the world and about yourself, and that's it, you can refer to it regularly, as needed. As my IT friend says about it, “request cache”. It is not very convenient to constantly re-collect information about those people with whom you communicate every day.
3. The knowledge library greatly increases self-esteem and reduces the trauma from communication with the outside world. Getting new knowledge is always painful, whatever you say. You have to be in the position of being inept and ignorant, to make mistakes (and in our culture mistakes are painful and humiliating!), To receive blows to self-esteem. It is pleasant and honorable to be a "know", it is a shame and uncomfortable to be a "know". Again, while exploring the outer and inner world, you get painful feedback (it may not be painful, but the person usually prepares for the worst).

That is, the knowledge library has a lot of advantages. It allows a person to feel knowledgeable, free and armed with knowledge.

True, there is a small, but unpleasant nuance, about which the classic wrote: "… but on the way the dog could grow up …". That is, the world around us is changing and the records in the knowledge library cease to correspond to the true state of affairs. And this is where the problem lies.

1. Knowledge about yourself and the world can become outdated. For example, in the "cache" it is written: "Here is my husband, he loves me very much." This is pleasant knowledge, once even being the truth; it fondles self-esteem and gives the illusion of security. And the husband is not the same for a long time, he has three mistresses and stash in two banks, and he secretly rewrites the common property on himself. The encounter with objective reality, which will open to a poor woman when it becomes impossible to close her eyes to the truth, will be extremely painful.
2. Knowledge about oneself and the world can be intentionally or unintentionally distorted by others. For example, in the classic film Gaslight, the main character marries a man who tries to drive her crazy by telling her that she is inadequate and mentally ill. Allegedly, she invents events, loses objects, commits insane antics, and her husband carefully tries to protect her from mental illness. The poor thing almost believes the villain, but the deception is exposed. The heroine's anger is terrible: in the last scene of the film, she brandishes a pistol in front of her liar husband and shouts in rage: “It seems to you! I’ll shoot now, and I’ll say that everything seemed to you !!!”.

The most interesting thing is how people prefer to deal with their own cache, with their own library of knowledge. This is the subject of my most violent amazement.

So: usually people do not correct the cache, do not correct the knowledge in the library - they try to "adjust" the external world and the surrounding reality so that they correspond to their ideas. Sometimes it takes a lot of time and effort. Sometimes this requires "adjusting" other, living people to their ideas about the world. Or "adjusting" oneself to these ideas.

But, usually, extremely interesting things happen where the relationships between people and their libraries come into play.

• For example, a story is constantly told about a person who went to psychotherapy (often unable to withstand the discrepancies between his own library of knowledge and reality). And he changed a lot in his life and relationships. And here he comes, renewed, to his loved ones, and they are unhappy - return it as it was! The point is not even that our changed client has become worse for them (he has not always become worse) - he has become unusual, unfamiliar, and now because of him a whole section of the library has to be rewritten. This is so inconvenient! Perhaps he was not the most comfortable person before, but they somehow got used to him. And now - you will have to study new characteristics, spend time and effort on it, then change cards in the library, and it is not yet clear which ones and how much. No, turn everything backwards, and do not encroach on our convenience! We always knew who you are - and we will continue to communicate with those who were in the place of you today. And some, which is characteristic, continue to communicate with the former, and not with the current, changed person.
• Sometimes a person changes himself, spontaneously, and no one is to blame. You just grew up or suffered a life crisis, and you can't turn it back. Remember the scene from the old film "Cinderella" based on the play by Eugene Schwartz, where the king, indignant, shouts: "Disgrace! Why wasn’t they told me that my son had already grown up!”? That is, the king-dad used to communicate with the prince as with a little boy, and he took it and grow into a young man, and even fall in love! Again sheer inconveniences. Dad was not ready to interact with such a new son, and dad is angry.

And sometimes the system of relations built around old knowledge in the library is so important to people that they are ready to lay down with bones and scour a completely living person, if only he would fit into the Procrustean bed of the old system of relations. (From this opera, for example, the phrase “for a mother, the child will always remain small” - that is, he himself already has grandchildren, he is middle-aged and gray, and his mother will persistently check whether he, foolish fool, has forgotten to tie a scarf more tightly. that there is a system where the mother is the most important for the child and the center of his universe, more important than objectively changed people, their new characteristics and new needs. It is important for her to be the most important in the life of a grown child, irreplaceable and caring, so please call your mother every day and report, how do you write your doctor's degree, son, otherwise my mother is worried and cannot fall asleep)

So the knowledge library is not a dead repository of once relevant data, but a working tool. When it ceases to be such an instrument, then problems arise both for the owner of knowledge and for those around him: a person either does not fit in the modern society in the best way, or boldly goes to this society into battle, trying to adjust the whole world to his standards and ideas about beautiful. (All attempts to revive patriarchy, the Russian Empire or communism are from this series; perhaps some successful elements from the listed types of social relations will return, but the past as a whole, in its former form, will not return).

It is important to check the existing library from time to time and update the data in it. The most successful moment for this is when the surrounding reality indicates it.