2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I looked at the holiday in a completely different way.
Today I went to school to support my friend and her little son - a first grader, got a lot of impressions and experiences and decided to share with you.
As a psychologist, I can say that September 1 is a great stress for a first grader and his family. At this moment, the family is going through a crisis. The crisis of presenting the result to society. In dry professional language, a child is a product that a family has been preparing for 6-7 years. September 1 is the day when the time has come to present the result of creation for review and at the same time withstand terrible competition with other creators.
In addition to joy, the family unconsciously experiences anxiety, fear, and shame. For many parents, these feelings are very intense and toxic.
In general, in the event I saw a lot of interesting and clearly expressed. As they say, all unfinished gestalts have risen and await their completion.
I remembered my motherhood, and somehow I felt sorry for my son and myself. I was a mad mother. The main thing is to make money and dress and put on your child, so that it is not worse, but better than others. Three of us went to the 1st grade on September 1st: my son, me and my mother-in-law. The husband covered himself with work. Vanity, nervousness - that's what I remember. I felt nothing from excitement, but the mother-in-law cried, worried about her grandson.
Then I did not know how to support my son with words, but now I can and want to support others who are experiencing similar things.
What happens to the children?
- The children with whom mom and dad came, secretly said: I have mom's support and if anything, dad is also there.
- The children with whom mom came, secretly showed: I have support and I can count on her, but the question is - can she protect, like dad?
What happens to the parents at this time?
1. Parents, where dad and mom came together, secretly declared: Family for us is sacred. We can negotiate with each other and are ready to support our child.
- Dad unconsciously looks at other dads and evaluates his status and strength (physical and financial), comparing clothes, shoes, accessories …
- Mom keeps herself more confident, she is under the protection of her husband and her baby too. It remains only to look at the outfits of others, make-up and jewelry, determine your status and try on - with whom to be friends, with whom not to be friends.
2. Mom came alone. Uncertainty can be traced, but it holds.
- The child's dad found a reason not to go to the event, the reasons are different (being busy at work, important things, alcoholic intoxication …) and this can be a protection from the powerful energy of feelings that rise during competition - uncertainty, fear.
If a single mom, then she may be experiencing some inconsistency - she could not, they say, find a worthy defender.
- Dad, who did not want to take part in raising a child at all, showed his irresponsibility.
Often, the mother of the child goes through this procedure alone, doing it formally, without touching on feelings and experiences, since she is very scared and anxious for herself and for the child.
Not everyone can withstand the competition and boldly look opponents in the face.
I think that in this situation, Knowledge is power. If you are aware of these processes, then it will be much easier for you to experience such stressful situations. And what is consciously and lived is completed. Also, do not forget that your little one absolutely needs support! And the task of parents is to find a resource in themselves to provide it.
With all this, I congratulate all parents on the Day of Knowledge!
With love to you, Marina Vasilievna Semyonova.
September 1, 2018
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