2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Do you like it when others "attack" you? They criticize, insult, say that you are mediocrity, incompetent, you have some kind of a different character, etc.
Of course you say no. This is a huge stress for you and you want to get away from this in every possible way.
So why are you doing this to yourself?
Self-criticism, self-irony (which is equal to latent aggression), blaming oneself, etc.
For your psyche, it is = “someone said these words to me”. You can only run away from people. But from ourselves, we do not go anywhere. You are completely defenseless against yourself. You attack, and thereby destroy yourself, playing the role of an adversary, enemy, the main offender and destroyer (in relation to yourself).
The more we attack, the more we destroy our own value, self-esteem. Sooner or later, we will feel a hopelessness in the manifestation of certain character traits and emotions. This leads to the fact that we move away from ourselves and are not able to accept all manifestations of ourselves. We form a certain image of the “ideal I”, which begins to dictate to us what we must correspond to.
To achieve the ideal image of your fantasy is unrealistic and impossible. Those who think this is real are very deluded and will have to face disappointment. The more we chase this image, the further we are from reality, i.e. from ourselves. At the same time, this image begins to guide us, and we lose the ability to really evaluate ourselves, our relationships with others and our reactions to them.
Look at your own expectations of yourself
Analyze what you do not love / reject in yourself (perhaps hate)
Remember what sore spots your family and friends put pressure on
These are all your weaknesses that you want to hide, from which you want to run away. However, everyone has similar weaknesses. Absolutely everyone has their own shadow side !!!
Always be on your side
You have the right to make mistakes
You have the right to have any character trait
You have the right to feel any emotion and feeling (the emphasis is on feeling)
You have the right to be stupid in something, not know something, not understand something
You have the right not to want to learn and study something (despite the critical cries of society)
If people around you reprimand you, they don't mean anything bad. All of this, of course, with the best of intentions. And, in fact, it is not only your problem, but also theirs. People, more often than not, are ready to express their negative opinion only because they themselves cannot accept themselves and withstand their shadow side.
Yes, it's worth listening, but remember to be objective. Try to superimpose your own opinion on the opinion of others. At the same time, it is IMPORTANT for everyone to learn to maintain relationships. This is not the case when "you are not like that, so figure it out." It is always a dialogue: “I find it difficult with you like that, but I am ready / ready to help you”.
Therefore, show condescension to yourself, do not judge strictly, do not condemn!
Take care of yourself, do not let others trample your love for yourself. Self-care and full acceptance are the keys to a happy and successful life.
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