Private Child Psychologist: What Helps To Establish A Bond With Children

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Private child psychologist: what helps to establish a bond with children

Tips from a private child psychologist on how to bond with children. Studies have shown that three factors influence the home environment: parental competence, child adaptation, and marital satisfaction. Here are a few practices that can help reduce power struggles, relieve stress, and promote humor, stability, and closeness between family members. And, in addition, they establish emotional contact and positively influence the acquisition of academic and social skills.

1. Invitation to cooperation

Laura Markham of Aha Parenting notes that setting a routine helps toddlers not feel "push or control" because they know "this is what we are doing at this time." Knowing what to expect develops in them a sense of mastery and to be less oppositional, more cooperative and independent.

One way is when / then. For example, "When you have pajamas, we can read a book."

When you set expectations such as:

• "All homework must be done before turning on the computer",
• “You must be dressed for school before you eat breakfast,” or
• "Your room must be clean before you go for a walk",

you are drastically cutting back on the daily power struggle.

In turn, arbitrary amount of T. V. time, arbitrary bedtime, inconsistent duties, hectic meals, or a course of action, Markham argues, increases confrontation.

2. Routine ensures safety, comfort and convenience of the day

Knowing what to expect and when to expect makes it possible for children to feel safe and move more easily during the day. For example, research shows that babies with regular sleep routines tend to sleep better and longer. Elizabeth Pantley, author of No-Cry Sleep Solution, talks about how to be absolutely consistent with your baby's sleep. For example, a bathroom, a book, turn on the same light, sing the same lullaby, and give the same pacifier and favorite toy - in the same order, every day "prompts" a son or daughter that this is a dream, provides comfort and helps him or her easier to fall asleep. Having a schedule for school or weekend activities also promotes relaxation and collaboration.

3. The established order acts as an "Anchor of stability" and relieves stress

Research shows that comfort and predictability from daily routines act as a “stabilizer”. Promotes emotional calmness and reduces anxiety in both adults and younger ones.

The treatments also calm children in unfamiliar or harsh environments. For example, if your toddler enjoys listening to you, reading a bedtime story will help her or him sleep outside the house. In early childhood, a parent-child or teacher regimen can be developed to facilitate separation. In a doctor's office or hospital, rituals can ease the stress of blood tests, shots, or difficult procedures.

According to Steinglass and colleagues (1987), family stress is often caused for the first time by disruption of family procedures. However, if routines are supported in a potentially vulnerable environment, such as divorce or financial stress, they will be better able to adapt to change. It can also help members stay connected despite interpersonal conflicts.

Routine works best with rituals

Adding traditions to subroutines makes them even more powerful. They can be defined as "the sweetness, fun, or warmth that accompanies the regimen." These are "actions that provide additional meaning, communicate 'we are kin', strengthen family ties, give a sense of belonging, and develop love and contact."

The ritual can be a crazy handshake, a special song during the bath. Or the way you say goodbye to your child and say the same thing every time you take him to school. It can be something that only your circle can understand - code words, jokes, the way you celebrate a holiday together, or your own unusual rules for games. These repetitive, fun, or creative activities strengthen family bonds.

One family played the animal guessing game every time an extra piece of food, such as a piece of pie, was left on the platter. And when more than one person wanted to eat it. “I make a guess of the beast,” everyone who wants food starts guessing until someone wins the game (and the food), even if it takes an hour.

Several dads took their children for walks in the woods on the first Sunday of every month. They put on different socks, striped shirts, and crazy scarves and rolled the bike through the forestry, laughing and trying to out-perform each other.

A father gave flower baskets to his two daughters for Easter, every year from the age of 2 until they turned 30.

While some rituals may have been passed down from grandparents or other relatives, others will be created with your new family. Some traditions promote humor, which research has shown is associated with home satisfaction. Most importantly, as Ellie Lisitsa of the Gottman Institute writes, they guarantee you time for an emotional connection.

How do you establish and maintain rituals?

In his book The Power of Habit, author Charles Duhigg identified three parts of developing new behavior:

• signal or trigger,
• behavioral routine and
• reward - or whatever your brain likes that helps it remember the "habitual loop" in the future.

Define one sweet pattern you can add to holiday, birthdays, Sundays, morning hours, rift times, or food. Do this once and take the time to notice what you like. For example, smiling, feeling connected, laughing, calm, or warm. The reward can help you motivate you to make it a habit.