2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You want to change yourself or your life - a psychologist is a service that can help you. Are you declaring the changes necessary to achieve the desired results? Are you willing to set goals and plan steps? Are you sure you will do it this time?
Then you go back to days full of urgent emails and texts; emergency projects; a mess that requires cleaning; agendas, lists and people to listen to.
You think about your dream in between frantic breaks, but the days seem so overwhelming and out of control, you cling to the past. And say, "I will change next week when I have more freedom." Moments of distraction and masterful rationalizations undermine your best plans.
Sounds familiar?
Guilt comes to you for a while, but you easily forget about the urge to focus on more important things. Or you say, “I am who I am,” and people have to accept that.
The human being is a habit
Almost half of what you do every day is repetitive behavior.
Regardless of how you achieve your goals, taking consistent action to correct your habits is the hard way. There is security that takes you back to old thinking and doing. To achieve the desired results, you need to constantly, gradually, over a long period of time to take deliberate action. To challenge your brain. It is worth starting not with planning progressive stages, with creating new templates.
People love change, they just forget what they are doing
Your desire to create different results is not enough to sustain change. To create new patterns, the mind needs methodical evidence that your mission is achievable and worth the effort. Without it, he will slip on rationalization so as not to change, and give you reasons to reduce the value of the task. You forget why it is so important until someone helps you see your way through these typical blocks of progress.
Transformation is a continuum, not an event
The main function of your psyche is to protect you from harm and discomfort. You have to convince your brain that not only will you be safe, if you change, you will be better.
To do this, draw up easily achievable steps that you will repeat over a period of time until they fit comfortably into your daily routine. You will need visual reminders of what you want and what the payoff will be. Then, each day, recognize and memorize attempts to fulfill your obligations, even if it was a small victory. You must show your subconscious mind that you will be successful, gradually.
The key to turning your choices into long-term behavioral transformation is:
- Use images and notes to visually remind yourself of what you want to create.
- Plan and repeat small transformations to see early and chronological evidence that you can be successful.
- Documenting the rationale behind each positive move as you journal and share your progress.
First, make sure you have specific actions you can celebrate. Put your goal in small templates that will help you move forward one step at a time towards the achievement.
For example, if you are trying to improve relationships and learn to listen, you can start with breathing practice before answering a question. Notice when you do this for a few days or weeks, until the pause becomes common. Subsequent steps may include:
1) notice and move emotions
2) make sure to completely stop walking and working to be present with the people you are talking to
3) strive to understand more clearly what a person needs before answering.
Spend days on each item. Don't be impatient. Do perturbations in your routines, not drastic changes.
It can take as long as you want to devote to each step. Until you see constant progress. But praise yourself every day for small attempts at achievement. Keep reminding yourself that you can succeed and consciousness will support you, not protect you.
The transformation is more likely to happen if you notice your victories every day. Write them down in your journal. Discuss with your support team. Comment.
Gradually, piece by piece, you change your mind and actions. Create new skills. And in the end, become what you dream to be.
Dialogue helps your brain stay on course
Even if you agree that you must change your manners or habits, abandoning the old ways requires constant self-defense. You are easily discouraged. You may feel resentful and embarrassed if attempts to change are rejected by others. Some moments may seem daunting.
Asking for help can make you feel vulnerable. But social support is essential for overcoming the emotions that force you to abandon your plans.
Just share your desires with others, it will strengthen your position. Research shows that automating a new behavior can take 18 to 254 days, an average of 2 months. During this time, constant dialogue with a coach or trusted friend will be very helpful. It will remind you of the main aspirations, strengths, overcome doubts about attainability and, share the joy of victories, no matter how small they are.
Creating consistent evidence that you will succeed and using a social support system that includes a psychologist or mentor will help you create a new self.
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