2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
At the reception, a pretty, energetic and curious woman. One of those amazing people who, even at 90, do not lose their sparkle in their eyes and interest in life. Let's call her Masha. We have been working for a long time, the alliance is warm and sincere. At this meeting, there was no specific request, and this added intrigue.
At some point, we came up with a complex topic of warmth in communication and gratitude.
Masha: I seem to be doing everything right, I speak sincerely, polite, delicate. But people communicate, thank and do not return.
Sergey: Can you give an example?
Masha: Well, just recently I found out that one of my ward boys, with whom there were difficulties, worked with him and his mother (Masha works as a psychologist at school), moved to another school and is successfully studying there.
Sergey: Great! It's nice to see the results of my work.
Masha: I met this mother and told me how they were doing.
Sergey: How do you like her story?
Masha: I was pleased. Although, of course, this is not only my merit.
Sergey: Was it difficult for you in the conversation?
Masha: Yes, my mother thanked me very much, but I somehow feel that I reacted dryly.
Sergey: Can you tell me how?
Masha: I said I was happy for you.
Happy for you, happy for you … I feel that it sounds kind of sincere, but distant. And politely, to the point, but something is missing. What? Think, think, there is something here, but what? Stalling for time
Sergey: Well, yes, everything seems to be polite. I don’t feel any rejection or irritation, but it’s as if I didn’t come close to you. Is that what you mean by dryness?
Masha: Yes. Perhaps I am doing something wrong, and people feel it. And they don't come close.
Sergei: I started to wonder what an interesting form “Glad for you” is. She returns back like a ricochet. It turns out that the person says something to you about himself, his gratitude, and you also tell him about him. It's as if you are removing yourself, your own feelings, from the dialogue.
Masha: but I'm talking about my joy?
Indeed, he says. About joy. Again, some kind of inconsistency. But I clearly felt that it was cool and dry. This, too, cannot be ignored. Think!
Sergei: Yes, you seem to be talking about joy. Something I was confused. Some thought is spinning, but I can't grasp it.
Joy for you, happy for you, I live for you … A beautiful form, but there is no content in it. Seems to understand - there is nothing about herself in her!
Sergey: Listen, the idea came. Here is a man thanks you. I see it as a kind of gift to you. Are you taking a gift? And how is he to you? How do you feel for yourself?
Masha: Well, I kind of take it … I think I understand. I am pleased, but I am not talking about it. How else can you say it?
Sergei: Well, we still have time. If you want, we can experiment. Interesting?
Masha: Come on!
Sergey (pretending to be a grateful mother): Masha, thank you very much! We moved to a new school and the child has no problems there.
Masha: Glad for you! Ouch. It happens automatically!
Sergei: Not scary. Do you feel anything about yourself now?
Masha: Yes. I am pleased to. I'm shy.
Sergei: Can you tell me this somehow?
Masha: I'll try. (Referring to me as to the mother of a child, she speaks slowly, as if thinking over the words). That's lovely! I am very pleased to hear that. I'm a little shy - there is a lot of your contribution here. I am glad for you and wish you continued success!
Sergei: you know, now I heard about you. And I had such an experience when I liked my gift. I think you did a great job of saying something in a new way. How do you feel?
Masha: it seems to me that I experience more excitement and warmth when I say what is happening to me.
Sergei: I also feel more warmth in our conversation. It keeps me warm.
Masha left. I sat on the couch and thought how sometimes you can really want to get closer and not be able to. It is not easy, but possible - to talk about yourself and your feelings for another person. As an invitation to enter. And then there is a chance to meet someone for real.
Recommended:
The Inner Broken Child: Early Trauma And Lost Joy
The Inner Broken Child: Early Trauma and Lost Joy Author: Iskra Fileva Ph.D. A bad childhood prevents us from developing a healthy personality. When something bad happens to us, we use our inner resources to deal with it. This is what sustainability is all about:
Woman Is A Subtle Energy Of Joy
For a woman, nothing is impossible in this life. After all, the energy of a woman is subtle and, according to all laws, subtle energy always controls the dense one. Remember. Engines convert the energy of wind, water, nuclear fuel into mechanical, electrical and other energy that drives huge units.
Ban On Joy
There is such a widespread life model - the ban on joy. For example: in order not to cry, it is better not to rejoice. In order not to break off, it is better not to want at all. If everything is "too good," then something bad is about to happen.
Who Stole The Joy Of Life?
Writer and psychologist Sarah Hansen has compiled a list of 50 factors that always affect the psychological state negatively. You worry all the time Worry is like a rocking chair that moves feverishly but doesn't go anywhere. You simply cannot control your actions.
HOW TO KEEP JOY OF LIFE, ENERGY AND ACTIVITY
Once, in a philosophy lesson at the university, a teacher uttered a phrase that now accompanies my whole life: "A person dies when he ceases to be surprised." That is, when interest in the world around us, in people, events disappears.
