2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Very often, from young and even still only expectant mothers you can hear: “I will not give breasts for every“squeak”/ often pick up / put to sleep in our bed with my husband (the list can be continued indefinitely) - so that I don’t get used to it!” …
Dear mothers! I would like to tell you that you are already 9 months late with your intention. Because the baby, being in his small intrauterine space, has already got used to it - to his mother's voice, and to the noise of her heart, and to the rhythm of movement, and to feeding " on demand". And what many parents try to do right after the birth of their baby is no longer learning and not writing on a blank slate, but retraining - the development of new habits. Attempts to change not only the habitual way of life for the baby, but also the evolutionarily determined instincts - to be with the mother, to feel her near, to depend. Yes, civilization has made many adjustments to modern parenting. But only in the process of development of the human brain is everything still extremely primitive - in order for it to develop, the brain must feel safety. A newborn baby can feel such safety when he is near (in every sense of the word) with his mother (or the person who replaces her). It is vital for the child to establish continuous contact with her and to make sure that a strong bond is formed between them. And physical as well. It is in this case that his brain will be able to actively form, because development occurs only from the point of rest - safety, reliability, confidence that the "world is good."
It is known that children deprived of parental care in orphanages tend to lag behind their peers from prosperous families in development. But not because they did not have Doman cards or educational toys. And because their bodies spent energy on ensuring physical survival and creating a safe environment, instead of building useful neural connections. It is important to remember that the first years of a person's life directly affect the structure of connections between neurons, forming either a strong or fragile foundation for further learning, mental health and behavior.
It is interesting that the same mothers who strive to teach independence and "independence" to their crumbs as early as possible, as a rule then spend a huge amount of time and effort on their early development. But, believe me: carrying it on handles, a warm response to all the needs of the baby and satisfaction of the need for dependence in the first months of earthly life is a much greater contribution to his development and happiness in the future. The desire to "not accustom" a child is actually a utopian idea, in the sense that he is born already accustomed - both in utero and evolutionarily. And upbringing is not about setting limits and showing the child his "place", but about creating safe conditions for his growing up, in which the parent is the most stable and reliable figure who can show and tell about this World. Therefore, there is no need to strive to create a separate children's world for them, with an endless set of special children's things and then lament that the child does not want to ride in such a super-stylish stroller and sleep in a cute crib, but asks to his mother; eat from your children's plate, but requires the contents of my mother's; playing with special children's educational toys (you might think he generally distinguishes between what is a child's and what is an adult's in this World!), and reaches for the remote control and the telephone, which he so often sees in your hands. Children are interested in the World, your World, Mirya next to you, and not the children's world that parents create for him to delight marketers.
Do not rush to teach and grow up children, pushing them out of your personal space - give them the opportunity to be small, feed on addiction️ and get enough of caring. Learn to fit the child into YOUR life, and not create a parallel one for him. And he will surely very soon wean himself from your hands, and from your smell, and from your voice. And you will even miss this touching, sometimes tiring, but so dear to the mother's heart of addiction)
Recommended:
Emigration Is Not Scary, The Main Thing Is Not To Get Lost In Illusions
As a rule, emigration has 2 sides - before and after. Starting the work of a psychologist, I happened to work in a specialized language school. There graduates who are fluent in 4-5 languages usually entered the "foreign language"
Manipulation And Manipulators: How To Understand That You Are Being Controlled And Not Get Hooked?
It so happened that in this world there are a lot of people who have and with might and main use their ability to lead others. And the main thing here is to correctly and in a timely manner determine in whose interests they are acting - general, yours, or, perhaps, your own?
If You Are Not Happy With How Your Child Is Not Doing Something As Well As You Would Like
- "Mom, look how I painted!" - “Well, what did you draw? What couldn't have done better? " Or this: - "Mom, look how I'm doing!" - "So what. You can do your best. " I didn't want to write about such a seemingly hackneyed topic as the topic of high expectations from a child.
Nobody Loves You Because You Are Not Young, Beautiful Or Slim? Do You Think This Is A Dead End?
I am now a happy fifty-year-old woman. Of course, young, I was, but beautiful and slender, in the classical sense, I have never been! This "never" does not sound like a sentence now, as in childhood, when you are considered the ugliest girl in the class.
If You Are Not Losing Friends, Then You Are Not Growing
Personality Growth and Friends You shared sorrows and troubles with your childhood friend. Then you entered and left for the capital, but your friend stayed. You have plunged into a raging ocean of people, situations, choices, currents and passions.
