If You Are Not Losing Friends, Then You Are Not Growing

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Personality Growth and Friends

You shared sorrows and troubles with your childhood friend.

Then you entered and left for the capital, but your friend stayed.

You have plunged into a raging ocean of people, situations, choices, currents and passions. And the friend remained in a safe "swampy" area.

You met people of different levels of education, upbringing and values. The relationship with them spurred the intellect in search of communication resources. Circumstances contributed to the development of the individual, forcing him to make difficult decisions and make choices.

Over time, both got married.

You began to notice that your friend's problems are constant and of the same type. He does not want to change his life, but he uses you as a rescuer - to complain about the usurper husband, disobedient children and a bitter fate. Her contradictory words, actions, relationships cause confusion and irritation.

Communicating with her is boring and depressing. After communication, a nasty feeling of heaviness and discontent envelopes in a cloud, pouring out on others.

Once you ask the question: “Why is this necessary? Is this friendship?"

Pulls you to other people with whom it is incredibly interesting.

With the growth of personality, the circle of friends changes. And this is a natural process.

Another example.

Vera and Agatha were friends from childhood to graduation.

Vera entered the university and was educated. She acquired a profession and started working. She got married at the institute. By the age of 33, she became a sought-after specialist, gave birth and raised 2 children: a son of 8 years old and a daughter of 6 years old.

Agatha did not enter the institute. She went on a trip around the world with her boyfriend. I've seen many countries. Then she changed boyfriends with enviable regularity. By the age of 33, she had not received an education, did not work a day, temporarily without relationships, no children.

I will analyze the experience that these women have received in life.

Faith.

1. Knows how to learn, assimilate knowledge and make efforts for this.
2. Immediately after the institute, she began to work - she learned the specifics of work and patiently moved up the career ladder.
3. A woman knows how to provide for herself.
4. She worked while pregnant. It was difficult, the woman survived.
5. She has been married to one man for over 10 years. I learned to build long-term relationships, to live through family crises and get out of them.
6. She gave birth to 2 children.
7. Knows how to raise and educate a son, how to raise and educate a daughter.
8. She successfully lived through the first three fundamental age crises of her own children.
9. She got out of decrees and plunged into the competitive stream of professional activity, returning herself to her former "form" of business life.

Agatha.

1. I did not study or work for a day. Why bother? Not used to making efforts. Received everything just like that for beautiful eyes.
2. Doesn't know how to support herself. For this, there are men who leave her life with enviable regularity.
3. A woman easily changes love attachments. Doesn't understand how you can live with one man in a long-term relationship. Considers why to endure and understand. Doesn't fit - next.
4. He speaks of children with apprehension and disgust. The child does not want and does not understand what to do with him. And, most importantly, why?

So the conclusion is:

Faith -

Independent, persistent and determined.

He is well aware of his own desires and needs. At the same time, he knows how to love, give and create. Harmonious mature personality.

It settled down, put down roots and, like a tree, reached out to the sun and began to bear fruit. The fruits of a woman are children, a harmonious relationship with a spouse and work achievements.

Financially stable. Financial security promoted calmness and self-esteem.

Courageously overcomes crises and trials.

He enjoys the respect and recognition of others.

Agatha -

Selfish, delicate and spoiled. Knows how to take and consume.

Sly, mercantile and insidious.

Masterfully manipulates men and at their expense satisfies his needs. Consumer approach to relationships.

Although it changes men, it is financially dependent on them.

It looks like a perekatipole or a Dragonfly from Krylov's fable: “The whole summer sang, I didn't have time to look back…” She lives in an exaggerated present, not thinking about the future.

How our heroines have changed. What topics will they talk about when they meet? Probably about the weather and mutual acquaintances. They have little in common.

Summarizing conclusion:

Friends have similar views, beliefs, interests and values. People will sound on the same wavelength.

And if there is no such thing, then they are just acquaintances. If, in this situation, you keep in such friendly relations out of gratitude for the golden days of youth, then you will slow down your own growth. As friends, you will keep a person who does not suit you and is extremely different from you. This "friend", as an anchor, will keep you from a new outlook on life and return to old ideas and habits.

If you are not afraid and let go of the situation, then such a person will drop out of your life by itself. He will not find a place and "oxygen" in your new reality. Do not hold back - do not think that there will be no more friends. There will be new ones on which your soul vibrates and responds.

But don't swing your sword sharply. There are real friends for life. This happens, rarely and with the blessing of heaven.

What do you think of it?