If You Follow Your Evolutionary Goal, Then You Have No Competitors

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

This topic concerns one of the aspects of our "I". The same "I-ideal", which was first nurtured or nourished by the family and environment in childhood. Sometimes, it is saturated with pain and suffering and is so fragile and valuable. In a thriving and diverse world, one wants to protect him. Protect from the threat of competitors, from the environment and loved ones who remind you of what you have achieved or not achieved.

The idea of an ideal self is actually a very good ally of ours. It gives energy for development, striving for achievements, we know where to go. And when we try to be professionals in something, and when we try to be good family men, friends and colleagues, our “I-ideal” becomes a reference point, but does not always coincide with the “I-real”. And when this happens, it hurts: there is a feeling of shame or guilt. But that's when we see our real "size". Depending on internal or external standards, each person has these experiences of different intensities. And the ideal is projected outwardly onto someone with whom you can somehow compete, with whom you can compare yourself and achieve.

And comparing ourselves to someone who seems more flawless, trying to be like a “shining person”, we run further and further from our real self. We devalue our experience, achievements, talents and skills, our values. But we are not chasing competitors at all and we are not fighting with any of the rivals. We are chasing our own ideal of ourselves. In this way, we try to reconcile the two sides of the moon or integrate our own self-image.

I associate comparing myself with someone with wearing someone else's shoes: firstly, it is unhygienic (and so also with a person). Secondly, sometimes the size is not the same and you can hurt yourself. Third, it may turn out that this is not your style, which does not coincide with the rest of your personal "wardrobe".

But you can have your own shoes, for some reason you bought: like the model, comfortable, suits your style or physiology. On your way, for some reason, the right one. And you go through it as much as you need. You have chosen this now because it suits your needs.

"I-real" returns us to the consideration of the real state of affairs, to real resources that can be used right now, and our own idea of the ideal of ourselves can show the way where to develop. But the main thing, in my opinion, is not to forget that perhaps what you have come to now is already what you have been striving for for a long time and persistently and have put a lot of effort into it. There is something that you are proud of, something valuable for you, which has not been there for many years, and you dreamed about it. And if you remember how long you wanted this and how much effort you put into it, and what you had to do for this, then you might be able to recognize your pace, your contribution, your strength, your values. Recognize your evolutionary path.