About The Fear Of Death And How To Overcome It

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Fear is the most powerful emotion, the very first, the most ancient - that originated in the archetype, which is fundamental for the appearance of all other emotions and feelings. With the emotion of fear, the psyche signals us about danger, about a threat to life. When there are no saber-toothed tigers around, and our relatives do not drive us out of the pack into the savannah where it is impossible to survive alone and even do not even eat us anymore, fleeing hunger on a "rainy day" - fear is our helper and protector, first of all, from own "non-adaptability", preserving the integrity of both an individual person and our entire species, for tens of thousands of years. The emotion of fear signals to us that we must be saved at any cost, in connection with which, in response to it, the body has developed autonomic responses that are optimal for survival for thousands of years. Any living creature seeks to survive. Man is no exception …

Driven by nature

Animals instinctively save themselves from two main threats - to die of hunger and the danger of being eaten, to which each animal species reacts in its own way: it runs away, attacks or hides, including pretending to be dead. The reaction of a person to danger (to fear) is an extreme mobilization of all body systems: an instant release of adrenaline, blood flow to the muscles and limbs, outflow from the brain and stomach, dilated pupils, the injection of sugar into the blood. A person faces an unconscious choice (at this moment, consciousness turns off, due to extreme slowness - while you think you will be "eaten"): to beat, run or hide.

But why does a person show the same vegetative reactions at the moment when he is not threatened from outside and he is safe and protected? Usually one hears rationalizations of such states: I was frightened by palpitations, shortness of breath, pain in the stomach, etc. But, alas - no … The organism reacted in a similar way to the repressed irrational fear. The conscious reaction of the organism is not even secondary, but tertiary - it is a response by mobilization to the “ringing sound” at the door of consciousness; the preconscious fear of death is secondary - it is directly the "sound of the bell" itself, which was supplanted by "not heard"; that is, it triggered, "ringing the bell" something primary in the depths of the unconscious. Yes, there is no external threat to life, but with the emotion of fear, the psyche reacted to its own unconscious "maladaptive" state, launching the vegetative process.

When psychic "energy" does not have an outlet through the channel of consciousness - thought, word, and then the release of tension through action, then it manifests itself directly through archetypal response, breaking through the body, thus declaring a "problem" that needs to be solved through psychosomatics. Thus, your psyche tries to "call" your consciousness from the depths of the unconscious, most often in response to frustration - an unsatisfied desire with its inherent anxiety, born in its emptiness.

Annihilation of desires

If you look at this process from the point of view of classical psychoanalysis, this reaction can occur in response to bad introjects "internal objects" (that is, external objects that were introjected, placed "inside" the psyche). What is the difference between good or bad, no matter "outside" or "inside"? A good or good person is one who satisfies our desires (needs), a bad person does not satisfy (frustrates). Thus, the feeling of “badness” or “goodness” of something and someone is more than subjective.

She put “external” in quotes, since each of us perceives reality (other people) through himself (through his desires) as bad or good as far as these desires are fulfilled (satisfied or realized), that is, they are in certain states.

Each person has two worlds - internal and external, and they exist regardless of whether we are aware of them or not. Moreover, someone is better aware of the inner world, someone is external, for someone the worlds are intertwined, and for someone they do not fit with each other in any way, while, at the same time, showing the complete opposite on the one hand, but overlapping, on the other hand (various distortions of the perception of reality). But now it's not about that, but about the fact that it is precisely the desire "afraid to die of hunger" being unfulfilled - unsatisfied, unfulfilled. Thus, at the unconscious level, desire reacts to frustration (to a frustrating, and therefore aggressive for him, attacking, “dangerous” introject) with an annihilation anxiety, and at the level of consciousness or preconsciousness with “fear of death”.

Digression: The letter is consciousness, therefore, some processes are difficult to describe, and therefore, in different literature, the same unconscious mental process is interpreted differently. The word (name) is the imprint (reverse side) of desire, the word, like desire, has a form (shell) and an essence (its filling). So either the form can be different, but the essence is the same, or the essence is different with the same form.

This "infantile" behavior "in the outside world" is inherent in young children, or newborn baby animals left without parental care. Their lives directly depend on the "adults". The newborn cannot feed itself and reacts with panic to frustrations of basic (necessary for survival) needs. In the same way, desire reacts to frustration - annihilation anxiety.

And if "in Russian" …

A person is a physical (body) and mental (soul), which includes conscious and unconscious (in the gradient: superconsciousness, consciousness, preconscious and unconscious), which, in turn, is divided into mental and spiritual (again in the gradient of four levels).

Each person is given a body from birth with a specific set of organs and systems of interaction between them and a psyche with a certain set of desires and connections between them. Moreover, each person is assigned a certain set of desires; that is, the body is one, but the psyche is different. This is how we differ from animals. In animals, on the contrary, the bodies are different, but the psyche is one. We also differ from animals in that we have a consciousness, sometimes weak and always individual, which means that it is limited, among other things, by the number of neural connections and the size of the cranium, and therefore we are mistaken when it comes to implementation. own desires. But animals are unmistakably controlled by instincts - an archaic, great, absolutely rational unconscious. In this connection, they have neither psychoses (internal conflict with reality), nor neuroses (internal conflict with oneself), nor borderline states (internal conflict with others), which means there is no feeling of fear. And what is there? The feeling of danger, to which the animal reacts at the level of "attack, run away, hide." The same unconscious reactions are played out in the human psyche, and vegetative ones in the body.

Yes, a man, unlike an animal, is imperfect. Thus, nature in our psyche has laid the opportunity for development in the opposite. In this case, the body is physical, absolutely opposite to the psyche - metaphysical; Because of this, many incidents occur, including in the form of the formation of frustrations, fears, anxieties and other experiences that are perceived as suffering, since we unconsciously try to realize (fill) ourselves - our desires, our human soul, following the example of that how we fill and develop our animal body.

Fear of death

The fear of death, as a root and basic feeling, to one degree or another, is experienced by all, without exception, regardless of the given (innate) desires. But there are people with much larger than others "visual" (responsible for processing visual information) lobes of the brain, which are 40 times more active than others, this gives them the highest potential for development and the widest range of feelings. They are able to distinguish the finest shades of color and light, and they perceive any flow of information much more emotionally than others. Within five minutes, their emotional state can change from hopeless melancholy to exaltation of happiness. Their main talent lies precisely in sensitivity. In the ability to subtly feel the state of another person, to perceive his slightest emotional changes. These are outstanding artists, photographers, talented actors, singers, dancers. In a developed state, these people are incredibly attractive, charming, charming, one might say, enchanting with their sensuality and sensitivity (compassion, empathy and empathy) towards others. But, at the same time, they are the most fearful, since by nature they are the most defenseless - unable to harm someone, that is, to protect themselves. It is a pity for them to kill even an insect. Therefore, evolutionarily, they fear for themselves more than others. This innate fear, with proper development, should develop into more mature feelings - into love and sympathy, and if not developed correctly - it can be fixed in the form of various phobias, fears and panic attacks.

So, if "visual" children are raised incorrectly or, for example, once ridiculed their feelings, then, becoming adults, they will lose the ability to penetrate someone else's pain, experience, withdraw into themselves and will be afraid of literally everything they see. There are many options - from blood or insect intolerance to panic attacks and nervous breakdowns from "overwork." At the sight of a harmless tiny spider or when leaving the threshold of their home on the street, their heartbeat will increase, their lips will go numb, their fingers will tremble due to the release of adrenaline, like an antelope fleeing from a leopard. The fear of the dark is their native fear, since they feel safe only when their most sensitive analyzer (vision) is working, and in the dark they begin to think that invisible "leopards" are hiding around and trapping them.

People in permanent fear have fantasies that arouse horror. For example, about how they are attacked by a criminal or their neighbor is terminally ill and dies. They are drawn to watch horror movies, walk at night along dark alleys, look for all kinds of diseases. Any desire does not tolerate emptiness, and therefore, if a person does not make efforts to his development, and does not fill the desires of "love" through compassion for another, then he follows the infantile vicious circle of self-love - suffering for himself, filled with fear, as the strongest emotion of the greatest amplitude, thus fixing on it, unconsciously learning to get pleasure from fear. They enjoy intimidating themselves, including by watching horror movies, or unknowingly putting themselves at serious risk.

How to overcome this whole nightmare?

The huge sensory range given by nature does not yet make us humanists and fearless fighters for the lives of other people. What is given by nature requires adequate development in childhood and subsequent implementation in adulthood.

You are very fortunate if, as a child, you read at night stories aimed at developing compassion and empathy about "Girl with matches" or "White Bim, black ear." Also, the sensuality of children is adequately developed when visiting a theater or art circle, watching drama performances.

Much less fortunate are those of us who read stories about the kids eaten or the tragic vicissitudes of three piglets before going to bed. Cannibalistic stories are capable of permanently fixing a child in a state of innate fear of death. But we did not choose childhood, and no one taught our parents the basics of psychological literacy.

Fear can also be experienced by those owners of emotional-figurative intelligence who received excellent education of feelings in childhood, but did not realize their talents and properties in social life. And strong stress can "unsettle" even a developed and fully realized person.

There is a way to overcome fear in adulthood. Regardless of what development and realization a person has received, his “salvation” consists in understanding his nature and sensual focus on other people. Since any fear is fundamentally a fear for our life, then when we shift the focus from ourselves to another person, instead of fear, compassion and empathy arise.

The rational beginning of the irrational

For the past 60 years, there have been no problems with food, no one dies of hunger. On the contrary, we are now suffering from overeating. But until the middle of the twentieth century, for 50 thousand years, the problem of hunger was more than relevant. To earn money, grow a crop, drive a mammoth, a person was forced to learn to interact and negotiate with other people, fitting into society, into the state, into the tribe, finding something for himself to do, aimed at its survival, that is, he was for this society something useful. And if a person lost his skills or could not cope with his specific role, then he was expelled from the "society". Human fear is also the fear of not coping with a given species role, that is, not realizing oneself. People are unconsciously afraid to let the flock down, as they are afraid to be expelled from it (to become unnecessary to anyone). When people fulfill their roles, they rely on eight sensitive areas of the body. Someone has stronger eyesight, someone has hearing, and someone has developed tactile sensitivity. If control is lost over them, a person loses his abilities and cannot get food with everyone, and alone cannot survive.

Carcinophobia

Carcinophobia is a derivative of the fear of death. If the emotion of primitive innate fear in children is not developed into sympathy, love, not sublimated into other strong and positive experiences, fears will evolve and multiply. Thus, carcinophobia can occur in the following cases:

- when in childhood the parents did not pay enough attention to the child, no one was involved in the development of his feelings or the child was intimidated;

- when there are feelings, there are a lot of them, but in life there is nowhere to apply them - there is no one to love, no one to communicate with, no impressions, “I sit at home, I don’t work, I don’t see anyone”;

- in a situation of super stress, for example, a loved one died, divorce, separation.

The potential for the development of imagination, directed in the wrong direction, can cause excessive impressionability and suspiciousness. Such a person, when talking about a threat to life, tries on the situation for himself and is so worried about it that he may even feel the symptoms of a disease that does not exist in reality. Therefore, it is important for a victim of carcinophobia to begin with understanding that fear is irrational and has no real basis. Its causes lie in the unconscious. And then take action.

Knowledge instead of fantasy. Evidence-based medicine is increasingly spreading around the world. Everyone has access to the websites of any organizations, foundations dealing with the problem of oncology on the Internet. Here you can find the latest and most reliable information on the state of the art in cancer treatment. And understand how many myths are associated with this topic.

Stop eating informational fast food. Deliberately limit yourself to reading "cognitive" medical literature and Internet sites in order to search for symptoms of the disease and new remedies for its treatment. Unsubscribe from mailing lists of "doctors" without medical education, who are trying to treat all diseases on the Internet, including those who supposedly know how to get rid of the fear of getting cancer. Respect yourself and your mind. He was given to you not to superstition, but to know.

Concentrate on realizing the senses. Fears and panic attacks occur when a person's feelings are not realized. When the volcano of emotions remains inside, a person becomes fixated on internal experiences and sensations, gives excessive attention to even insignificant details. Make a conscious effort to feel and empathize with people.

Perhaps you are already afraid of yourself and have forbidden yourself to watch "hard" films about grief, human pain, suffering, and even more so about cancer: fear is even more intense. Try to watch such films from a different angle, feel sympathy for the characters, let yourself cry, sob to your heart's content.

Social phobia

“How do I look? Do they like me? I think they despise me. I look terrible. How do I like them? - if thoughts only about himself are spinning in his head, then a person can bring himself to an extreme degree of fear of people - social phobia.

In order not to be afraid of talking to other people, you need to switch attention from yourself to another, focusing on the interlocutor (or on the audience). How does the person next to you feel? What are his eyes talking about? What worries him? You won't notice how quickly focusing on someone else will improve your relationships with others and relieve your fear of interacting with other people or speaking in front of an audience. The most important role in communication with other people is played by the psychological state of a person. What is more pleasant: to communicate with a nervous, self-conscious interlocutor or with an open, joyful person who is sincerely interested in your thoughts and feelings?

Gift or curse?

Emotional and sensual people are needed by humanity to unite people with empathy and sympathy for everyone. This is how culture is born in society, it keeps us from murder and violence. The fear of death, turned into compassion, saves the species from self-destruction, and each individual person from fears.

Thus, irrational fear is a warning to a person, a “bell” that subconscious desires have not been realized. At the same time, the source of fear does not manifest itself, since the unconscious is hidden. But until the cause is found, it is impossible to get rid of the fear.

Each person has their own problem, because of which there is an unreasonable fear. But there is also something in common. When someone does not realize what is inherent in him by nature, does not receive a response from society and close people, then he begins to be afraid. For example, when he feels cut off from people without creating emotional ties with them. Or, when it closes in itself, without revealing the nature of phenomena and actions, etc. The cause of fear can also be childhood psychotrauma.

Obsessive fear goes away when there is an awareness of the causes and effects hidden in the unconscious. In the head, which is busy thinking about how to realize your desires and capabilities, in order to experience even more joy and happiness, there is no room for irrational fear.

Leaving no room for fears

At the peak of love and compassion, we think about others in need of help, our brain begins to search hard for a solution, leaving only part of the energy to itself. And it is this part of the energy that is enough to solve your problem. Everything from above (“visual” lobes are 40 times more active) should go towards solving the problems of others, towards creativity, towards helping other people, towards contributing to society. And it is for this that nature has so generously given us the ability to live a full emotional life - to take care not only of ourselves, but also of others.

When this happens, there is no place for fears, tantrums, panic attacks, all the huge potential is channeled into a positive and inspiring channel. At the same time, you also rock on the waves of your heightened emotionality, but this already brings not suffering, but great pleasure to you and other people.