2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Cruelty of adolescents
Recently, more and more videos have appeared on the Internet with the manifestation of teenage cruelty: bullying animals, beating a weak classmate, violent fights filmed on the phone, insults and humiliation of classmates. Why is there so much aggression and hatred in adolescents?
Why do children behave this way? How to help and how to behave to parents and teachers with "difficult children"? One of the most difficult psychological stages of personality development is adolescence. A teenager is no longer a child, but not yet an adult, he already has his own opinion and interests, but he still needs the support and love of adults, but support with respect for his personality.
Teens need to be accepted by their peers and to be "noticed" by others. Violent behavior is the purposeful application of physical or psychological violence in the form of humiliation, beating and humiliation of human dignity.
From a psychological point of view, adolescent cruelty is mainly a form of protest against not love, not understanding and not accepting him as a person.
Those. one of the reasons for the aggressive, hard feeding of the child is the feeling of being unnecessary and not loved, which causes internal pain and suffering. And as a result, the "not beloved teenager" expresses his pain through aggression towards the weaker and defenseless.
Also, at the moment of frustration of the basic needs of a teenager, internal tension accumulates inside and with the help of aggression he relieves tension that is no longer possible to endure. Typically, abusive children are “abandoned children” that no one cares about. At school, they hung up the label "he is bad and evil" and no one is interested in what is happening to him at all, what motivates him.
Of course, the family has a huge influence on children. How parents resolve conflict issues among themselves, how a parent of the same gender declares himself and achieves what he wants. If a child grows up in an atmosphere of violence (physical or psychological), then it is difficult to demand "kindness and patience" from him towards others.
Often a teenager who is violent towards others has been abused himself (humiliation, physical punishment, sexual permission, neglect of the child's needs).
Violence breeds violence. Of course, abusive teenagers don't necessarily come from dysfunctional families. In my practice, I met when the family did not show anger, aggression at all, and the child "opened up" for everyone. But then, in family therapy, the mother's suppressed aggression against her father, who had been cheating on her for years, was revealed. A child is a symptom of the family, that is, everything that is inside the family (feelings, intentions, pain) will necessarily be shown by the "weakest and most vulnerable" member of the family.
According to numerous studies of the motives of the cruel behavior of adolescents, the children themselves said that they fight, humiliate others in the moment of fear, from a feeling of injustice, to protect themselves and hatred for the whole world.
Hatred for the whole world arises when the closest and most significant people do not love, do not understand, do not care. At almost every consultation with difficult teenagers, I hear "Nobody needs me. Nobody."
It should also be noted that aggression can manifest itself in a person out of fear. The feeling of fear is born in us at the expected danger. And the feeling of aggression manifests itself in adolescents to protect themselves. Therefore, the greater the fear, the more cruelty and aggression towards others. Of course, teenagers are greatly influenced by a group of friends and their informal leader, whom most people look up to.
In adolescence, there is an internal search for oneself. We get to know ourselves through communication with others, so the environment has a great influence on adolescents.
In order to help teenagers, it is important for parents to rethink their own behavior. It should be remembered that behind aggression lies the need for love and acceptance. Therefore, it is important for parents and teachers to show patience and love for the "difficult teenager", he needs it like he needs air!
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