2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I am very clear about people who cannot find in themselves love for their parents. They look into themselves, into space, hang around in search, get scared of themselves, get embarrassed, afraid to say out loud: "You can't, it's a mother" …
There is a corset on the body, and as a result, there is no contact with one's own sensations, how painfully it presses in different places, in different areas of life. Here it would be time to breathe only, to maintain existence.
I'm good, I have to be like that for her. I hate her for that!
Slowly we begin to unbutton the corset, and she slowly discovers herself, her desires, her own feelings, thoughts. She sees herself and her body, she breathes freely, she already wants to live differently. And this energy of life gives strength to love, feel and be grateful.
-Mom, I love you!
-What is it manifested in?
Such a parent will never be happy with what you do. He himself needs acceptance and carrying it on handles so that he can cry and be capricious. And you can tighten the belts again and enter the endless circle trying to shove yourself back into the "good girl" corset to please your mom. Prove that you love. And then anger and powerlessness, disappointment, devastation. And the realization that you can never receive motherly acceptance and love. Pain and bitterness. The realization that the one that could nourish you with her love like juice poisons you every time in an attempt to get closer, and only she herself is a victim of her needs.
And then, one day, she catches herself in the same absolutely position in a relationship with a partner, demanding and persecuting, knowing exactly how to love her. And it gives air and freedom to these relations, which for some reason "do not add up".
Ah, mother, if only you could love me any. If you could only look at me, free me from your own expectations.
It's hard to be a child, even an adult, a mom or dad who only loves "if". And if not, then the doors of his house are closed for you, communication stops, and you will not be congratulated on your birthday. You are not for me, because you are not what I want.
Finding yourself for yourself is much more difficult than being what they want to see you. This is the path of pain, long and costly. This is the path of therapy.
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