If A Daughter "looks Too Much Like My Mother"

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

There is such a thing when children are very different from their parents! And sometimes this difference resembles "just not like you." A mother can have lovers, and a daughter will grow up "saint", a mother can have a clean house - a daughter hate cleaning at all, a mother can love her job - and a daughter can be a fan of the hearth. And usually the examples of the strategies I have named are expressed in extremes. But that is not all.

Let's take an example.

For example, there is woman X. Woman X tends to think that she is a good wife, a good mother. Perhaps her husband is not her ideal, and the children are assholes, but she still does everything to be as good, not to disappoint her loved ones.

Why is this happening?

Mom X was a woman who loved the attention of men, and did not want to be "home clubs"! Therefore, I did everything to avoid the "sad lot of housewives." Accordingly, little X saw her mother leave home, was disappointed in her, greatly offended and promised herself that she would not be like her mother.

What's next?

X wanted her daughter to also be caring, loving, take care of the house, etc. In general, she did everything the way X does, because this is exactly what is right from her position. But the daughter begins to behave exactly like a grandmother, to leave the house, and to condemn her mother "kluche", who beat down on herself and crushes everyone with her love."

Daughter X is like her mother. Isn't that awful?

What is the reason?

There is fear in this mother-daughter relationship! The fear that I "will be like a mother", will be bad, humiliate myself or loved ones. This does not mean that one of these women cannot behave differently. But, having adopted up to one of the mother's strategies (even if for the benefit of herself), the daughter is faced with the same fear - "to be like her", to be bad, offending. And in the end, she is still a loser, After all, not like her mother - against her, it is not to be with yourself - it is to fight with fear. In such a system, there is no feeling of oneself, one's desires, there is a struggle here, from generation to generation. Going from one extreme to another. A woman does not accept her mother, leaving in the opposite - her daughter does not accept her (leaving in the other opposite, like a grandmother). This is how throwing turns out, from generation to generation.

What to do?

First of all, he will learn to listen to himself, his desires, needs. After all, only the path to understanding yourself leads to solving the problem of extremes for you, your children and improving relations with the mother.

With love for your ailments, psychologist, sexologist, psychosomatologist Tatyana Pavlenko!

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