2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Each psychologist (psychotherapist), I think, has its own directions of development, certain concepts and famous scientists predecessors on which they keep an alignment. For me, such a person is Irwin Yalom, a professor at Snenford University, one of the founders of existential psychotherapy. I am also, frankly, a fan of the idea of an individual approach to each client, and it is important for me to be able to see a person in his world. Yalom is not only a talented psychotherapist, but also a writer, he skillfully combined these two passions and succeeded in realizing both of them. Reading his book "Cure for Love" I made notes (wrote out bright phrases) and almost every one had notes: "Brilliant! Super! NB ". And so I decided to combine them into an article, perhaps they will be useful to colleagues and clients. I also hope that some will discover the work of Irwin Yalom, if they have not yet come into contact with him. By right, all the works of this author are considered therapeutic, checked on myself, I am happy to confirm this fact!
So:
“Some people block their desires and don't know what they want. Lacking their own opinions and inclinations, they parasitize on the feelings of others. Such people are boring and tiring for those around them. Others get tired of feeding them with their emotions. Some patients are not capable of making a decision, although they know what they want, but they are marking time on the threshold of indecision. The reason for this is that every decision made destroys all other possibilities (any “yes” has its own “no”)”.
“Existential isolation (loneliness) of 'I' and 'others' is inevitable. The therapist must debunk her illusory decisions. Efforts to avoid isolation can interfere with normal relationships. Many marriages and friendships break up because, instead of caring for each other, partners use themselves as a means of dealing with their isolation (merging, blurring the boundaries of their personality, dissolving in another). The development of self-awareness - increases anxiety, and its merger dissipates and destroys self-awareness. "I" dissolves into "we", the anxiety goes away, but the man himself (selfhood) is lost. Anxiety indicates internal conflicts."
“The search for the meaning of life does not give us peace, comprehension of situations gives us a sense of domination: feeling helpless in front of incomprehensible phenomena, we strive to explain them and thereby gain power over them. Meaning generates values and rules of behavior: the answer to the question: "Why do I live?" - gives an answer to the question: "How can I live?" The more persistently we seek meaning, the less likely we are to find it. In psychotherapy, as in life, meaningfulness is a by-product of deeds and accomplishments, and it is on them that the therapist should direct his efforts. The point is not that the accomplishment gives an answer to the question about meaning, but that it makes the question itself unnecessary."
“Love obsession (from the past) steals from real life,“eats up”new experience, both“positive”and“negative”.
“The main problem in psychotherapy is how to move from the intellectual recognition of the truth about oneself to its existential experience. It is only when deep feelings are involved in therapy that it becomes a truly powerful engine of change.”
"Group therapy - its principle is that a group is a miniature world: the environment we create in a group reflects the way we are in the world."
"Psychological emptiness" is a common symptom of all eating disorders. In the pauses between therapies, the patient should conduct mental conversations with the therapist and wait for the next meeting. Therapy really begins only when, in a relationship with the therapist, the patient begins to show his true symptoms (removes the mask of joy and happiness) and the study of these symptoms opens the way to the central problem.
"Patients, like all people, benefit only from the truths that they themselves discover!"
“None of us can finally overcome the fear of death. This is the price we pay for awakening our self-awareness. Although the fact of death destroys us, the idea of death can save us (for example, life must be lived now, it cannot be postponed indefinitely).
The article uses materials from the book by Irwin Yalom "Medicine for Love".
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