2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
A fragment from my book "What do we confuse love with, or is it Love".
To be able to share life with each other, you need to have a certain level of coincidence, compatibility.
Compatibility can be in different formats:
- Complete coincidence in something. For example, you can love the same music and go to concerts of your favorite artists together.
- Partial match or intersection. You can watch comedies together, and everyone can watch alone or with friends those genres that they like, but not like their partner.
- Addition. One can love a biscuit in the cake, and the other - creamy roses, then it is quite possible for yourself to share one cake for two with a win for each. One loves to cook, while the other loves to wash the dishes - it is also advantageous.
- Opposites that balance each other. One may be late all the time, the other may come an hour earlier. This will create some tension when gathering together somewhere, but if you learn to cope with conflicts, you can find a balance when one is not late and the other does not wait an hour at the door.
- Differences that do not contradict each other. You can have differences even in important issues, but if they do not interfere with life, then this is not critical. One may be a Buddhist, the other an atheist, but both may respect each other's position and leave room for individual beliefs.
- Differences and contradictions for which an acceptable agreement was found. One loves salty, another peppery. This is problem. But it can be solved by adding salt and pepper to the homemade dishes after cooking. One prefers to save money and the other to spend. But you can agree on how much to save and how much to spend on pleasure.
Incompatibility is the difference that interferes with life and for which no solution has been found.
Also, incompatibility is too low a degree of coincidence - when there is little that connects.
What exactly matches are needed is a creative search for each pair individually.
It is worth determining for yourself the important areas of life that you want to share with your partner.
If for you the fullness of life is travel and concerts, then, of course, it would be good if your partner also burned with this and there were coincidences in music and style of travel.
If music does not play such an important role for any of you, then the coincidence of musical preferences is not critical.
If a financial cushion is important to you and you are very worried about unnecessary spending, then a coincidence is needed in this matter.
A match in the sexual sphere is definitely necessary. If one needs every day, and another once a month, then it will be difficult to find a solution.
Likewise - the amount of time you want to spend together, and the format of this time.
Also important is compatibility in terms of the level and style of communication - so that it is possible to understand each other.
The topic of compatibility will be discussed in more detail in one of my next books.
The book "What do we confuse love with, or Love is …" is available on Liters.
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