2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
He runs away physically: and then he breaks off relations, quits his job, immigrates to another country, goes headlong into work or hobbies. Or he runs away mentally: and then ignores the problem, pretends that it does not exist, that everything is fine. This is done, for example, by victims of domestic violence. Alcohol and drug use, as well as other addictions (play, sexual) are also a way to escape. You can "run away into illness" when, with any stress, a person really gets sick. You can even bring yourself to mental illness, for example, to dissociative identity disorder (popularly "split personality), in which a person's personality is divided, and one gets the impression that there are several different personalities in the body of one person.
This way of solving problems in childhood is formed, when we cannot influence what is happening around us. A small child is dependent on his environment and has to adapt to existing conditions in order to survive. Then the psyche develops this mechanism, and it saves the child's life. But what worked in childhood does not work in the adult world. Now we can change a lot, but we continue to use the infantile way.
What happens next? The problem does not disappear anywhere, and the person wanders in “other worlds”. But this race is impossible to win. Wherever you run away, you take yourself with you, and therefore your way of thinking and acting. And after any escape, we have to return to the real world and experience a bitter hangover from contact with reality. And run away again.
In some situations, running away from problems is justified and even necessary. It is a defensive reaction to stress when the body tries to restore emotional and psychological strength. But if escapism manifests itself where problems need to be solved, if it becomes the only way to cope with reality, then it is worth taking a closer look at it.
Good news. There is a way out of this vicious circle. There he is.
- Awareness of this mechanism of "solving" difficulties, tracking it in everyday life.
- Next, you need to understand what you are actually running from. What repetitive situations (rakes) accompany you through life?
- How does the habitual escape from reality affect your life? For example, you are unable to build intimate relationships, or you are living in a relationship that does not suit you.
- What other, constructive, adult (not childish, infantile) solutions are there?
- Try these new ways and learn how to use them.
Actually, this is what we do with clients in sessions. If you want to understand what is happening in your life, come to me for a consultation, I will be glad to help.
Psychologist Marianna Jarvela
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