2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Illusions attract us because they relieve pain
and as a substitute they bring pleasure.
For this, we must accept without complaint that when
Illusions collide with a piece of reality
they are smashed to smithereens …"
Sigmund Freud
Illusions - our usual safe haven from a terrible unjust world - are very much needed in early childhood, when there are many questions, when there are many unknown and inexplicable, many fears. With the help of illusions during this period, the psyche protects itself from a strange and cruel reality.
But, during growing up, when the sphere of awareness expands and our ideas about the world around us, when knowledge about ourselves and the surrounding reality accumulates, reality no longer seems incomprehensible and scary, but on the contrary, it becomes interesting and exciting for living.
It is then, ideally, that illusions should dissipate with the “wind of change”, “sink into oblivion”, break into small pieces, falling into the abyss over which rye is growing.
But it often happens differently: we until the end, ignoring all possible rational beliefs, hold on to our illusions, like a lifeline, which should protect us from pain when faced with a difficult reality.
That is why in our adult life, in our adult relationships, we bring particles of our ideal world, where “everything is simple and familiar”, because it is composed exclusively of our ideas and laws about how it should be. But these ideas are very different from the laws of reality.
What can you do in order not to ruin your life in vain expectations, living in an illusory, invented world?
“In fairy tales, good, after a grueling struggle, always triumphs over evil. Well, that's what fairy tales are for. In reality, more often than not, everything ends the other way around and people with pain gradually lose the illusions planted in their childhood with the help of fairy tales,”Ali Apsheroni wrote.
Illusions, nevertheless, sooner or later break against reality: when a person is no longer able to hold them back, for rational laws are firm and unshakable; or when the illusory perception of the world already begins to threaten some aspects of survival; or when someone repeatedly steps on their "rake", until they have stuffed their forehead hard enough, begins to realize that something is wrong here and finally takes off their "rose-colored glasses".
And real happiness when you manage to remove these "rose-colored glasses" yourself!
Because often they still break on reality, irreconcilable with illusions … And, as you know, they break glass inside …
It is intolerable, terrible and, at first glance, intolerable when you go out, as if naked, on the piercing winds of common sense, rationality after a quiet, calm, warm harbor of an illusory world.
These winds uproot everything that we so enthusiastically held for years, carry our carefully and troublesome castles in the air far, far beyond the sky, blow away completely illusory oases in the deserts of our souls.
And then a fearful but logical question arises, "What's next?"
And then: pain … Unbearable terrible pain …
But at this very moment it is important not to turn back, not to allow yourself to escape again to that cherished safe, but not real world.
It is at this moment that it is important to live and experience everything that needs to be lived and experienced.
Because this living is a new discovery of everything hidden about our real life. And this experience is a movement forward through pain, through powerlessness, through disappointment to our real life, and to ourselves, the way we could always be and what we will be when we trust this authenticity, which we have been hiding from ourselves for so long …
The pain will pass … The wounds will heal …
Over time, we will no longer feel naked without our illusory ideas about the world and life. Gradually, we will learn to choose appropriate clothes for the weather.
And again the world will shine with rainbow colors of happiness, inspiration, love, faith and hope.
But all this will already be many times fuller, deeper and more beautiful! Because it will be real!
And somewhere there we will all find our real harbor, quiet and safe … And it will be like returning home …
Recommended:
Escape From Reality As A Way To Solve Problems
He runs away physically: and then he breaks off relations, quits his job, immigrates to another country, goes headlong into work or hobbies. Or he runs away mentally: and then ignores the problem, pretends that it does not exist, that everything is fine.
10 Illusions That Protect From Reality And Take Life
Few things in this life can be as pleasantly intoxicating as illusions. Illusions protect. Illusions give the feeling that everything is good (in itself, very resourceful, by the way) - moreover, even where it doesn't smell good. Illusions allow you to relax and allow yourself to just be.
Live In The Present
Live in the Present! You can only experience pleasure in the present. Remember the words of the Soviet song: “There is only a MIG between the past and the future. It is he who is called Life. " The wise turtle from the Kung Fu Panda cartoon echoes:
About Life In Illusions That Will Never Become Reality And Phantom Pains When Parting With Them
"I blinded him from what was, and then what was, I fell in love …" How often do we wishful thinking? How often do we confuse our expectations of "how it should be" with what really is? For example: - I kept expecting that he would grow wiser and stop drinking … - I believed that that betrayal of him was the last … - I still hoped that he would offer me to marry him … - I strongly believed that fatherly feelings would wake up in him … - I did
IRINA MLODIK: "IT IS NECESSARY TO GIVE CHILDREN THE OPPORTUNITY TO LIVE ANGRY"
One day the day will come when the child will be aggressive for the first time. He will stamp his foot. He will hit you with a fist or a bucket. And then it turns out that it was not a one-time attack. That aggression is something that happens to him from time to time, and in adolescence it even becomes an almost permanent state.
