Down With Stereotypes That Poison Life

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Please explain to me how gender stereotypes work. These are all these expectations "who calls whom, who confesses love to whom, who gives what to whom and who initiates sex first." Because I don’t understand. It always seems to me that the initiative comes from someone who is ready for it. Everything else is dancing with tambourines. If I want - a man, a woman, sex, get married, give, ask, say - I do it. I am not ashamed to confess my love or desire, to ask on a date or to make a surprise. For one night or a lifetime - time will tell. I'm not keeping tabs - I don’t think who is who, when and how much, and I don’t care who is first.

I understand that in our culture there is a certain stereotype when "a man should" and "a good girl is waiting". And what if there is no man and woman, but there are two women - or two men. And there is not always a clear division of roles in a pair into "male" and "female" types of behavior. But what if there are just two partners - two people who want something instead of building, trying, sipping, trying? What then? We sit and wait, who will look at whom and who will not stand it first? To take the first step means to acknowledge interest, intention, feelings, needs - to emphasize what is needed. And I understand the fear of rejection and the fear of appearing ridiculous, but first of all it means that we are simply not ready to take responsibility for our desires!

So it's time to walk your white coat. I in no way impose my values and views on anyone, but I am frightened by the number of low-standard stereotypes that poison life. Yes, this is a value judgment, I know. And I am quite consciously taking this step. Believe it or not, it hurts me to look at the crippled fates of people who build their relationships on knowingly false statements.

- Express your views and opinions, do not be afraid to openly say what you like and what you don't. If you want to take the initiative, do it. That this devalues a woman in the eyes of a man is a lie. Self-confident, reliable, dignified people accept the partner's right to freely express their desires and make decisions - regardless of gender. Only those who are notorious, seeking to rise at the expense of others, acrimonious and embittered losers, are afraid of openness and strength. You hardly need those.

- If you don’t want something, don’t do it. The fact that for the sake of happiness one must endure is a lie. The only thing that this will lead to is neurosis and the syndrome of unjustified expectations. Do not tolerate pain, uncomfortable shoes, devaluing people and bad lovers. Your job is to be happy. And this is the only thing worth living for. Children will grow up, parents will die, partners will leave. The one with whom you will have to live your whole life is yourself.

- Be honest with yourself and others. The fact that for the sake of well-being one must manipulate and pretend is a lie. You can't stand on tiptoe for long. The mask shown to others sooner or later grows to the face. By being ashamed of yourself and denying your true essence, you risk not living your life. It is sad.

- You deserve the best. Always. The fact that you have to chop off branches on your own is a lie. At any age, with any appearance, any height, any size and weight - you are beautiful. Send on a walking erotic journey those who humiliate you - in word, deed, thought. Into the forest of parents, "out of love" telling the girl "who will marry you like that." To the garden of husbands who call their overweight wife "fat cow." On figs abusing the position of bosses and smart-ass colleagues. You have to love and accept yourself - as you are. This does not mean that you cannot improve and supplement your personal, professional qualities and external data, if there is a need for it. This means that the approach to change must be careful and constructive. There is no need to kick and gnaw yourself - there will always be those willing. You need to support, respect and appreciate yourself - then those around you will catch up.

- Don't be afraid to change anything. The fact that where he was born was useful there - a lie. Strive, dream, conquer new heights. Nothing is impossible and there are no restrictions, except those invented by you.

- Don't let anyone dictate terms to you. You and only you decide how to live your life. The fact that you have to sit and not stick out is a lie. You can love men or women, you can live alone, you can build a career or devote yourself to your family, or you can have everything at once - everything is in your hands. Strong, free people who know themselves, do what they love, with satisfied needs and a burning gaze are always attractive, desirable and successful. And those who are too tough for them, let them live in a world of their own limitations and stereotypes. According to Senka and a hat.