2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Every day in our head thoughts are spinning, some are very intrusive and they do not give us rest
We would be glad not to think of them, but they do think - by themselves, without our control and participation.
In psychology, there is the concept of "unfinished gestalt"
What is the meaning of the gestalt - to complete, to tighten to the end, to come to a conclusion, a result for a certain situation, thought, idea
Gestalts are formed when we don’t think out and don’t make a decision, we don’t close the gestalt.
At the moment when the gestalt closes, the thought turns into a kind of decision or action, and the brain, finally, can connect several nerve centers into a single whole and then throw it into the archive. Everything, he does not return to this question.
Usually these are thoughts of the following nature:
- various conflict situations with the boss, colleagues, people close to us
- of course thoughts about what someone thinks about us and how they treat us
- our obligations to friends, employees
- worries about relationships with loved ones - quarrels, who is right, who is to blame
- search for the great, the meaning of life, philosophical questions
- different fears - not to be in time, not to cope, no one will bring me a glass of water
The list itself is very specific, and most importantly limited.
Then why don't we think them out, but drive them in a circle?
It's that simple! When we start thinking about it, then we come to fear, indignation, despondency - this is unpleasant. Thinking about the unpleasant is unpleasant.
Scientists have also calculated that the duration of such a wandering thought is no more than 10 seconds, but what can you think of in 10 seconds? It is clear that you cannot come up with anything reasonable in such a short period of time.
The place of an ill-conceived thought is immediately taken by the next one from your list of automatic thoughts, and again in a circle. It takes a tremendous amount of time and energy, but it's better for us not to become.
What to do and how to get rid of these ill-conceived thoughts?
- we take a pen and paper
- we allow our thoughts to wander, if this does not work out - just walk around the apartment
- situations, people, conversations, unfinished business will flare up
- we write all this down - as soon as something flashed, right there it is on paper
Once the list is complete, divide it into two parts:
1. To Do List
List them in the calendar, indicate the real terms that are comfortable for you, make it so that it is convenient for you.
That's all - you can not think about it, but you will need to do it, but you already know when, you do not need to constantly remember about it. Think about them when you need to really do it.
2. List of thoughts to think out
We also divide all these thoughts by a willful decision into two groups:
- meaningless thoughts
Life is pain, I want to live and do nothing, the injustice of the world, I made the wrong choice once, but if … then …
Note that these thoughts are not thought as such, they are just automatic reflections that have developed a habit of thinking this way in situations that are not very pleasant for us, but there is no point in them. You really have to recognize them as stupid inside and the next time you encounter them, you will understand their absurdity. If they continue, then you decided to deceive yourself and you need these thoughts for some reason, for example, for self-justification or increasing your self-esteem.
Look at the thoughts, think over, bring each one to its logical conclusion, and if it is meaningless, admit it as such and cross it out. You don't need it.
- thoughts for real thinking
Of course, there are thoughts in wandering that you need to really think about well and make an informed decision on them.
In a state of wandering, this is impossible. Remember 10 seconds.
If you don't put them on paper, something will surely distract you and your thoughts will go the other way.
The first thing to do is ask yourself why am I not thinking it out? Is there a fear of responsibility? Truth? Fear of a decision that might change something in your life?
Write down possible problems that you think you might face. One way or another, you will think through the idea to the end and eventually come to a decision.
You may be missing some facts or data for now, but you can say:
- while I think about it this way, when the situation changes, I will think about it again, but now I will not return to it
As a result, you will have a list:
- affairs - you will think about them when the time comes
- meaningless thoughts - nonsense that is not worth your time and effort
- important thoughts - which are either closed, or you will return to them when there are more facts
We've dumped our thoughts into a list, divided them into three important categories.
Now the most difficult thing is to track our wandering
Whenever thoughts go in one direction or another, you need to catch them and assign them to the right category:
Affairs
nonsense
an important thought
Nonsense - to wrap up at the root, business - to set a deadline, important thoughts - to write down, if there is an opportunity to immediately think it over, no - the next morning instead of watching the feed on social networks - think it over.
This habit needs to be developed. This chain of neurons, new for us, needs to be laid
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