2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Warm, friendly relations with their own children is perhaps the ultimate dream of any parent. What is needed for this? While the child is small, everything goes according to plan: thanks to your efforts, the baby is clean, well-fed, beautiful, walked and gains weight well. Like any mother, you are, of course, preoccupied with questions about when the child will sit down, when she will get up, when she will go and when she will speak.
But there is one BUT!
Anxious mothers can't just love, just be happy and just enjoy having a baby. Anxiety, conflict, anger, resentment, as well as unhealthy ambitions turn the happiness of motherhood into a burden, clarification of relationships and endless problem solving.
A simple example. Ambitious parents, almost from infancy, begin to teach their child languages, give them to various sections. The child is overorganized, results are constantly expected from him.
Many parents break down on school performance: like, our very best should study with only A's. Adults, intelligent people and, I am sure, people who love their child do not understand that the flip side of perfectionism is neuroses, a high level of anxiety, even stuttering.
And the child just needs to be loved, talked, laughed and be there not as a nurse or a warden, but as a friend. The child repeats everything after you: he will speak faster if you talk to him, he will go faster if you begin to take part in the games, and not sit next to you as silent observers.
Then the child grows up, and the parents begin to arrange demonstrative tests of knowledge, scolding the child for incorrect answers and drawing terrible pictures of the future for him. I think many have heard about the unenviable fate of the janitor …
Now think about what is wrong. Look at yourself. If you want your child to start reading, read it yourself! Only in this way, only by personal example and nothing else.
If you want to "break the system" - learn to love children just like that, without any conditions. Just because you have them. Your child is not you. He's different. He is another planet, if you like, another consciousness - and that is wonderful. Love him, help him become a person.
Ask yourself if your actions lead to a happy child. And most importantly, can a child be happy at all when the parents are not happy? Think….
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