2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I survived …
As a child, I read a lot. I read everything. I was praised for this by all and sundry. Starting, of course, from parents and ending with relatives, friends and all together.
I read everything. I learned to read, more out of need than out of utility. I had to learn all the letters and read them, because motivation is serious business! I always had a choice: stay at home alone or go to a party, well, or just on business with my older sister. Age difference with my sister, 17 years. It's not hard to guess what my choice was. So I learned to read and write.
Since I was praised for this, I had to read constantly. And, of course, very often in return for important matters.
Already, as an adult, I understand that I was perfectly shirking from cleaning, for example. Sometimes both from lessons and from helping parents. I remember my mother calling me to help her, and I answered her: “Mom, I read!” - that's all! I am exempt from help! It would seem, what's wrong with that? The child reads, it means smart. But, no one saw that sometimes I read, just by opening the text on any page, continuing the exciting story, read several times already.
Of course, I have read many new and interesting books. But, thanks to the books, I knew how to avoid unwanted actions.
But why am I all this … And to the fact that now, in adulthood, everything is very even, and vice versa. I will do whatever I want instead of reading a smart book. Some anti-reading protection mechanisms are included. As well as writing intersessional individual papers. And, even if I read it, no one praises it … And this is probably why I don't really want to read.
You have to persuade yourself, convince yourself that this is important. And so, step by step, for 4 years, I persuade myself to be a smart girl. And believe me, it's not easy.
Here, try to force yourself to do something !!! I doubt you can do it easily. Either force the child. It's much easier that way. Is not it?
In adulthood, everything is different !!
For what we were praised for in childhood, in adulthood, so no one praises. And to be paid attention to, it is no longer enough, just to stand on a chair, clumsily recite a rhyme and grab a flurry of applause for it.
Adult life is different!
An adult can motivate himself. Can negotiate with himself. And he doesn't need any praise at all. He himself knows what he is. He knows his strengths about himself and not so much. He knows what he needs to do to get noticed. And for this, as it turns out, it is not at all necessary to give people advice to the right and to the left. An adult respects others and the opinions of others, as he understands and assumes that he is also surrounded by adults.
As you raise your children, remember that what you pay the most attention to is what your children will do for you. Are you just criticizing? Only praise for your athletic achievements? Or maybe you ignore it altogether? Then I assure you that children will definitely find a way for you to notice them. And it won't always be about good behavior.
What you give is what your children ask of you! Do you give money? Gifts? Then do not complain that children love you only for money.
Do you give only words and promises? Do not be surprised then that your children are lying to you!
You are parents! It is up to you to choose the language of love in which you speak with children. 5 languages of love, to help you from G. Chapman.
Remember that your children will have to live without you someday! Can they survive without your love? Make it so that your children do not have to look for mom somewhere else, for example, in men. Or the father of a despot in the same boss.
Raise adults and independent children. You will be better!
And in the case when it seems to you that you are on the verge, remember that you are not the only such parent in this life. And you can always seek professional help. And I will be glad to be useful to you!
Recommended:
Praise Addiction Or How To Get Praise From Yourself Every Day
Believe me, the desire to please others is absolutely normal. Praise is a wonderful way to gain or show approval. But if you suddenly realize that you cannot live normally without it, this is an imbalance that will interfere for a very long time.
Where Does Love Lead? 5 Scenarios For Your Relationship
Published in the magazine "The only" July 2012 Four of them were described more than a hundred years ago, later a fifth was added. Moreover, any of the scenarios can be both absolutely happy and deeply problematic. Your union probably develops along one of them.
Where Does The Myth Of Male Insensibility Lead To?
If you have already tried to “score, distract, drink, eat, check your health, undergo treatment”, and “does not let you go”, welcome to therapy. This seems to be how your emotional discomfort manifests itself. On the one hand, this is good.
Shame Because Of Tenderness. Where And What Does It Lead To? What Is The Threat?
Why is this situation practically catastrophic and testifies to large pathological processes in the human psyche? Many people find it difficult to express warmth, tenderness, and gratitude. We were taught to be strong, to survive on our willpower, to achieve and show results, but it was a shame to show a feeling of tenderness.
Where Does Unconscious Envy Lead?
Many lend a sinister, magical character to envy. They say envy can somehow affect a person's life. Your life can only be influenced by your own envy, not someone else's. The habit of giving envy a magical meaning: “I have failures in life, so someone envied me” is an infantile attempt to shift responsibility for my life, decisions, actions onto some Uncle Vanya or Aunt Frosya.
