2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Often, parents choose an edifying or authoritarian style of communication with their child. Why? There can be many reasons, here are some of them:
1. This is the simplest style for parents and less energy consuming, as they think.
2. Their parents communicated with their parents in this way, they do not know how to do it differently.
3. They believe that a child a priori should be obedient, complaisant, understanding.
4. They have no time to have sentimental conversations with the child, because they need to have time to listen to their own mother's story about what her relationship is with her neighbor, to discuss her relationship with her husband with her friend, to discuss other colleagues and the boss in time, to sort things out with her husband, where did he go, what he did, what he thought about, and why is he so …..
5. They are always sure that the child is still too young to reason and reflect. As I say, so it will be, etc.
What do you think, when a child grows up with this style of communication, will the child be able to feel happy and strive to make his life rich and harmonious? That's right, NO! He does not gain experience of a different, happy life.
1. Interested in each other in the family what all family members and, in particular, children think and feel. To be interested not in what grade he received or what was given at school for lunch, but what the child is feeling at the moment. How was the day, what I thought, worried. This is more important than concern about which kindergarten, school, university will go to.
2. Trust. It is the trust between all family members that allows you to engage in an interesting, cognitive business, and not constantly build psychological defenses.
3 Support and praise for completing feasible tasks that become more difficult with age. Children are waiting for our praise, support, and it must be objective and from the heart. But it is better to start the assessment with the question, how would you rate. And at the end, be sure to support. Who else will support the child in this life, if not the parents. If there is no support in the family, it is a direct road to dependent and codependent relationships in the future.
4. Give the right to choose. How to learn to take responsibility for your choice, if you do not create conditions where the child could learn to choose.
5. Give unambiguous feedback. When the family has an open relationship, the child knows exactly what is allowed and what is not. He does not need to challenge the established rules, he does not think about how to meet the expectations of his parents in the future.
And also BE IN LOVE your child, no matter what happens and does not happen in his life. What other steps can you take?
If you want to understand how and why this is, and not otherwise, the relationship in your family develops, you can seek advice here
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