2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Thanks to my good friend who turned to me with a request to reveal the topic of harmony. Which for me is the topic, to put it simply, "emotional seizing".
The background is as follows. The woman was breastfeeding the baby. Then she finished breastfeeding. And then "I fell off the chain." And I began to “eat everything that comes to hand, on the go, and it happens, I do not feel satiety, satisfaction” “I understand everything that I need to pull myself together, but I can’t!”
Such is the story, probably familiar to many firsthand.
Most likely, the situation developed as follows.
While the acquaintance observed the conditions of breastfeeding, she largely had to deny herself. And I really sympathize with her, and I understand how difficult it is. And apparently, now, when there is no need to refuse, she is eating what she denied herself.
It triggers such an inevitable mechanism. The more we forbid ourselves, the more desirable this forbidden becomes for us. Remember the "forbidden fruit is sweet"?..)
Here it is important to clarify what experiences the acquaintance is experiencing in today's life?.. What thoughts does she have while doing this?.. What meanings does she see for herself in this?..
There are some important needs behind all this. And it would be nice to find them. And then you can look for what you would like, not related to food. And look for ways how this can be satisfied not through food. Perhaps these needs are related to the fact that you want support, recognition, attention, intimacy, security, love, or something else that is related to relationships with people. And then it is important to investigate all this. From what people and what would you like?..
And it is very common to seize all these experiences.
Usually all this seizure comes from childhood. When we needed love, attention, recognition, acceptance and support, and our parents, for some reason, did not give us this. But we could get consolation by eating a cutlet or candy or ice cream or chocolate.
In general, this is not an easy topic. And it's not so quick to understand it.
Also, as a rule, when such breakdowns occur, there is often a feeling of guilt “why did I do it, how I could,” shame “I’m kind of weak-willed,” criticism of myself and dissatisfaction with myself. And all this only aggravates the recurrence of these disruptions.
Guilt, shame, criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself - I was comforted by the food. Then again guilt, shame, criticism and dissatisfaction with oneself and again consoled herself with food. And so in a circle. A vicious circle turns out. And it is difficult to get out of it on your own, alas …
What can you do yourself? Where can you start?
For starters, you can learn to notice your experiences. Most likely, at first it will be noticeable after the breakdown has occurred. And already it turned out to overeat. It's unavoidable. And at the same time, if, after what happened, you still try to remember what preceded this, what experiences and thoughts were, then this is already a very good step towards learning not to break down and not jam, but to start satisfying your needs in a direct way, but not through food.
I also think it's important to learn to support yourself. Empathize with yourself and stop the flow of criticism and discontent that is directed at yourself. I myself know how to do this is not easy. Saying to yourself something like this: "Yes, I could not afford it for a long time, but now I can and I want it, so now I will eat it."
You can also try to eat in very small pieces and chew slowly, notice how you taste this, do you like it? What do you like about him? In general, learning to enjoy the contents of the plate, not the quantity.
And so, gradually, on the one hand, allowing yourself what you had to give up for a long time, and on the other, supporting yourself, and trying other ways to get support, acceptance, attention, love, recognition, you can get out of this circle.
I write and understand that in one article it is so difficult to reveal all the important aspects of this topic.
I hope you can ask questions and I will answer them.
Recommended:
Why Does A Man Break Up With His Mistress? Understanding Why A Married Man Leaves His Mistress?
Why does a man break up with his mistress? Fighting for married men (including for their wallets), many mistresses try to intimidate their wives, create a panic mood in them, set them up to surrender, to voluntarily abandon their husbands. For this, myths are created about the alleged total superiority of mistresses over wives in age, sexuality, appearance, character, etc.
5 Reasons Why Relationships Break Down. Part 1
People meet, people fall in love, get married … At the beginning of a relationship, lovers are full of hope. We are ready to make promises to love and be together. The state of happiness disposes to show the best qualities to each other.
5 Reasons Why Relationships Break Down. Part 2
I continue the series of articles on why relationships are breaking down. The first one can be viewed here, and today we'll talk about the second reason: Man and his pain . This is a very important point that many people do not understand.
Why Is It So Hard To Break Free From Love Addiction?
Emotional (love) addiction is one of the most common problems of our time. Statistically, 98% of people tend to create addictive relationships. And psychologists have seriously dubbed emotional addiction the disease of our century. Why is it so difficult to get free, to get out of love addiction?
Loose Relationship
An open (free) relationship is a type of relationship in which the participants want to be together, but at the same time agree to be non-monogamous. They allow romantic, sexual or other relationships with third parties. Each individual case of an open relationship may differ from another, since the specific conditions of such a relationship are determined by partners individually.
