2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Emotional (love) addiction is one of the most common problems of our time. Statistically, 98% of people tend to create addictive relationships. And psychologists have seriously dubbed emotional addiction the disease of our century.
Why is it so difficult to get free, to get out of love addiction?
The answer is that there are a lot of feelings and emotions in such a relationship. This means a lot of life.
And the second important point - in addition to painful and destructive feelings such as jealousy, resentment, guilt, a feeling of total loneliness and uselessness. In addition, there are always a lot of bright positive feelings in a dependent relationship.
The question is that both painful and pleasant feelings and experiences in such a relationship are total. That is, they capture us completely and completely.
And when it's good, we instantly forget that yesterday it was really bad. And vice versa.
The so-called swing is created. Then sharply upwards - a state of euphoria, boundless happiness, complete mutual understanding, boundless love and trust in a partner. Then sharply down - emptiness, jealousy, a feeling of uselessness, rejection, loneliness.
At the same time, being at the top of the amplitude, at the peak of happiness, we feel as if there has never been a “bottom” in the relationship. We somehow “forget” all that bad, all that pain and suffering that we have experienced quite recently.
And exactly the opposite. Going to the other extreme, into the abyss of despair, loneliness, resentment, jealousy - we also completely forget those good feelings and states that we experienced yesterday.
And, unfortunately, as practice shows, over time, "good" periods are becoming more rare and short-lived. And the “falls” are more protracted and deeper.
How to get out of this trap?
Love addiction seems to drive us into the framework of a limited, flat reality. There, within this reality, there are only two sides, two states.
Either very good - or very bad. Or limitless trust - or total distrust. Or all-consuming love - or corrosive hatred. Or complete understanding and merging with a loved one - or unbearable loneliness.
For each person, these are their own individual opposite states.
And in order to get out of addiction, you need to find your own true opposites.
They can be expressed by feelings, images, sensations.
In practice, this is difficult. And best of all, if there is an opportunity to work with this together with a psychologist in individual consultations.
But with a sufficiently high degree of self-observation and understanding of one's feelings and states, it is possible independently.
This is the first necessary and very important step.
I will talk about the next steps in future articles.
Now, if the topic of addiction in relationships is relevant to you, think about what opposite states, feelings, emotions you experience in a relationship.
Share your observations in the comments.
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