2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
I think we are living in an amazing time. A time where there is an opportunity to do what we like or what our Soul strives for.
It so happened that I came to psychology through attempts at spiritual development, which were not crowned with success, but only led to an even greater conflict in my Soul or simply to neurosis.
Now I understand that many people follow this path, conditioned by the search for oneself and answers to vital questions.
The reason for this excitement is understandable. The previous state system collapsed, and after it the institution of the family. For 70 years, they decided for us how to live, what to want, when to want, led the ranks and blamed for our individuality. We live in an era of changes, chaos, so we are ready to do a lot to meet our own I. For example, attend a lot of seminars, trainings, perform austerities, read mantras that are little understood …
What to do when there is no previous structure and valuable guidance?
Most of us are still looking for guidance in life, the illusion of stability and security, feelings that we have hopelessly lost. The desire to find a magic pill, a fast-acting medicine that once and for all relieves of suffering leads many to new, widely advertised, directions in psychology, removing the veil from which we will see elements of sectarianism and gurumania. What actually takes a person away from true knowledge of himself, replacing the guidance of spiritual mentors in various confessions. Spiritual practice, often becoming a false development, takes us away from simple psychological problems that are solved in therapy.
So many choose a spiritual mentor for themselves, and unconsciously want to receive the love of a father or mother, which they never received in childhood. Childhood trauma is the basis for devotional service to one's mentor. You can spend several years without getting what you want. If the approval of the mentor still brings joy to the ward, then this joy will be fleeting, and the true need for love will remain unfulfilled. Sooner or later, anger towards the deified object arises, disappointment and repeated trauma sets in.
Individuals with narcissistic trauma suffer from perfectionism and devaluation, and in Russia they are the majority. Many in childhood, parents did not see and did not recognize as a person, they noticed only their results and achievements, which could be boasted to others. The child himself remained in the shadows, no one was interested in his real inner world. Therefore, it is so important for narcissists to see the approval of the other, perceiving it as a mirror of themselves, because the inner world of the narcissist is not formed and he does not feel himself, but is focused on external reactions, which often lead the narcissist to two strongest reactions: greatness or insignificance. I will not hide that dealing with narcissistic trauma is one of the most difficult, but the result of such painstaking work, bestows the true self, where the person will be guided by his own needs for action and his own feelings to evaluate what has been done. Shame and guilt will be recognizable and tolerable. We can say that this will be the path of self-knowledge and healing of the individual, which will lead to the pinnacle of many spiritual practices - TO BE HERE AND NOW.
I can say that thanks to Gestalt therapy, you can enjoy the knowledge of the Earthly world and not rush to Paradise or the Spiritual world. Don't rush! Everything will come in due time. And spiritual knowledge (without fanaticism) is useful and necessary. But you cannot substitute one for the other. Cognition of the inner world, energy of feelings: fear, joy, shame and sadness … the skill of staying in these vibrations will make it possible to adapt in this material-dual world, build closer relationships, choose an individual style of life. I am ready to help those who wish to find their true self, to live freely. Sincerely Marina Vasilievna Semyonovna.
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