2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
We have heard a lot about jealousy. People who are jealous are usually spoken of as individuals with low self-esteem, domineering, and those looking for a problem where there is none.
Sometimes this is the case, but very often the statements are not true. States that are similar to jealousy can hide the fear of losing an object, an anchor in this world, and, accordingly, not survive.
What does it look like?
There is a mother, she is an object for a child, an anchor of safety in this world. She is a guide, teacher and sage who cares, knows how to behave, shows how to survive. But all mothers can perform these functions. And in adulthood, a person can shift all these responsibilities to a partner.
This does not mean that the husband should feed his wife, dress and take care! No! He should be near (well, or she). It looks something like "As long as you are in my field of vision, I am safe."
What does it look like in life?
✔️ Anxiety when a partner leaves or leaves for a long time and does not warn;
✔️ Anxiety when your partner is not satisfied with certain functions (sex, food), because then he can run away and no longer be your anchor of safety;
✔️ Anxiety and anger when he does some incomprehensible and new things for you;
✔️ Fear when a partner expresses interest in another person, because this is also a risk that the object will be taken away.
Something like that. And this is far from being about jealousy.
In order to preserve his partner, a person may get sick, not understand why, deliberately wanting to get rid of the problem, but not understanding how. Usually we are talking about chronic ailments.
😔It happens that children serve as objects, safety anchors for parents. And then the baby is born already with the function tied to him, when the interests and tasks are determined by others. This is where one of the reasons for hyper-care is hidden.
Sound familiar?
With love for your ailments, sexologist, psychosomatologist, Tatiana Pavlenko
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