How I Fell In Love With Myself And The World Responded In Kind

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

The technique of self-disclosure is one of the professional tools of the psychotherapist's work. This is a situation where a professional shares his personal experience for the benefit of the client.

Yes, yes, the key here is for the benefit of the client. If, even answering the client's question, you start retelling all your life discoveries and difficulties, then it becomes unclear who pays to whom and for what

Therefore, I always try to use the technique in a measured manner and with special care, asking myself the question inside - for whose good am I now saying or asking this?

In this regard, when various publications invite me to write articles about my personal experience, about my ups and downs, I somehow get lost. This is probably part of the professional deformation, because the therapist says little about himself.

But from a woman's identity, the story of my relationship with self-esteem can be told.

My self-esteem - what is it like today?

Probably, the main thing that I can say is that finally I really have a SELF-rating, and not a MAMA rating, a DAD rating or a SCHOOL rating. But it was not always so.

Self-love As a teenager, I was a very insecure girl with an overweight of 20 kg.

I had poor eyesight and I was afraid to wear glasses, so that another one would not be added to my complexes.

The boys did not pay attention to me and I thought that it will always be so.

My opinion of myself was completely dependent on the attitude of others.

Then active growth began, hormones raged, and literally over the summer I lost 15 kg.

My new reflection in the mirror made me very happy, but my inner uncertainty remained. Most of all, I doubted my body, its attractiveness, and, in general, my human value.

In communicating with other people, it seemed to me that the only thing they see is the remaining 5 kg of excess weight and my terrible insecurity and rejection of myself. And I was sure that this was my destiny and karma.

But, in spite of everything, I began to work on these ill-fated 5 kg.

I changed my diet, began to move more actively and the result was not long in coming, the excess weight melted before our eyes, as it happens in my youth.

What was my surprise when my self-esteem remained the same.

From the mirror, a young, beautiful girl looked at me, who is interesting to men, and inside there lived an absolutely insecure person who knew for sure that he was not worthy of love and attention.

Self-esteem I had already read about inner work, but I had little faith and had no idea how it works.

At every opportunity, I criticized myself, I was desperately glad of any male attention and care and, in principle, grateful for the fact that they paid attention to me.

To the surprise of my friends and relatives, I did not value myself at all. In my life there was a series of male betrayals, which further undermined my faith in myself.

I watched other women and discovered with interest that without ideal physical shape, grandiose personal and professional achievements, they like themselves, love, value and respect themselves.

They can choose what is good for them and what is bad. For me, these role models were the first signal for change.

Since childhood, I have been interested in psychology, where I tried to find answers to my questions.

And at that moment - the interest became really serious. I started attending various courses and seminars in search of an answer to the question - why is my attitude towards myself exactly the same and how can I change it?

Then I already believed that the world treats us exactly the same as we treat ourselves.

The most difficult thing remained - to change this attitude, to accept and love yourself.

On this path, I made many discoveries for myself.

They are now the foundation of my professional self-confidence programs. I know for sure that if it helped me and my clients, it could help others as well.

The main thing is desire, faith and daily micro steps on the way to your goal.

I must say right away that there are a lot of tools and you shouldn't try to do everything at once and at the same time.

I suggest starting with the first few steps and realizations:

attitude to yourself

1) Our self-esteem depends on how our parents treated ourselves, in particular our mother.

We learn everything in life through a role model, and if my mother did not value herself, sacrificed herself, criticized herself, then this will certainly affect her daughter.

It is important to see this program, realize and learn to control.

And be patient with yourself. After all, this scenario was not formed in one day and we cannot simply take and remove it from the psyche.

But we can know "the enemy in the face" and control.

2) It is very important to keep track of your own thoughts about yourself. Criticizing yourself again?

Pay attention to this! And tell yourself stop. And then ask yourself - whose voice is it inside that speaks?

Have you heard that somewhere before? MOM rating? SCHOOL rating?

3) Write a list of what you can thank the Universe for today? For example, because you have 2 arms and 2 legs, fingers, etc

Often we do not notice how much has actually been given to us.

Add one thank you to this list every day for the smallest, for the simplest. Do this before bed.

I know for sure that gratitude attracts even more situations for which I want to thank.

At first I fell in love with myself, then the world responded in kind. I know for sure that this is possible.

Continue to work on yourself. Change your life for the better. I believe in you.

With love, Lilia Sheleg