Discoveries. Talking About Relationships With Mom

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Each of us has his own in different periods of life. And we really appreciate only those that we made ourselves. Sometimes others tell us how and what, they even offer solutions, but we don't hear and that's it. And suddenly something in the brain "click" came, it became clear and transparent. Opened.

My husband often smiles at my next discovery and asks: "Have you definitely heard about this before? Nobody told you?" I guess who he means, but from my mind the memories are completely erased.

Professional life is no exception. Here you read some clever book on psychotherapy, make notes, even memorize, but until you try it in practice, it’s like you don’t fully believe it. And I'm even worse. I need my own statistics in order to talk about something.

Today I just want to share with you my, proven in practice, discovery.

Talking about relationships with mom. In my professional experience, 95 percent of the difficulties in a woman's life are rooted in her relationship with her mother. Here is self-esteem, self-worth, insecurity, professional fulfillment, loss or workaholism, relationships with men, girlfriends, colleagues, with their children, trust and love for the world or their absence, etc. And behind all of this is early experience with mom. More precisely, the nuances, of course, accumulated throughout life, but the basic model, the basis of the foundations, is from childhood.

How do you read that?

What is your relationship with your mom? Write some adjectives. For example, difficult, tense, false, tense, gentle, sincere, kind, empathetic. This will help you see the situation more deeply.

My clients can be conditionally divided into 2 types in this matter. Some argue that they have an excellent relationship with their mother, while they communicate as politely as possible, suppress negative emotions and forbid themselves to experience their true feelings. They also begin to communicate with me in therapy. But more on that in another article.

Others openly and sincerely hate their mothers. and decide that nothing can be done about it and almost completely break off contact.

I know for sure that there is a third group - these are those who has a healthy relationship with mom, but they come to me so rarely and for a short time that they are the exception rather than the rule. If you consider yourself one of them, then call your mom with gratitude or, if there is no such possibility, do it through space.

But the first two cases need to be dealt with. I am ready to accompany you in this.

I ask you to observe your feelings and thoughts in relation to mom. They can be different at the moment of interaction and when you alone think and remember about her.

Do you feel guilty?

Write everything down in a notebook or in notes on your phone. Also, be sure to pay attention to the sensations in the body. The body always speaks the truth.

With feelings, contact can be broken, but looking at the body, you will certainly notice tension, tightness, heaviness, pain, overweight or underweight, psychosomatic symptoms. Let yourself hear yourself. This is the beginning of healing and new life.