Despair. At The Bottom

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Despair once settled in my house. Just like that, it came, having thrown open the doors, declared in a peremptory tone - "Now I will live here."

The first thing it did was to put things in order in the house.

Joy was thrown into the bin. A hard broom swept away all the excitement, small and large "want".

It took from the farthest corners of hope and tore them into small pieces so that they would never glue them together.

All the bright pictures were mercilessly torn off the walls.

“Well, what else do you have here? - Despair looked at me with suspicion. - Maybe a couple more illusions are hidden somewhere? Or some rosy and fluffy expectations? - sniffed despair, pacing my apartment. - Come on, get out your vanilla dreams yourself, I know for sure, they are somewhere you have well hidden!

And I obeyed. She took out the old chest, where my most fragile and beautiful dreams were kept, and humbly gave them.

I gave up completely.

When it became completely empty around, despair opened its large suitcase and slowly, calmly took out new, hitherto unfamiliar things.

"This is apathy" - despair designated for me a shapeless, incomprehensible thing. As soon as she was pulled out of the suitcase, she surprisingly spread throughout the apartment. There was not even a centimeter wherever she was present. Apathy covered my windows with a gray veil. The world has now become monotonous.

“And here it is pain, you have to eat it. Come on, let's not open up! despair said as I devoured the spiky balls. So hard to swallow. They clung to something inside, tore me apart, so that my whole body began to break and weaken. I wanted to lie down and did not move. Each movement took away strength, exhausted. I went to the bed and fell on it. It seemed the only way I could keep myself alive.

“Well, here are my favorites. - despair smiled maliciously. - Powerlessness and hopelessness . Two large stone slabs fell to the floor with a crash. I saw how huge cracks spread from them in different directions. For a moment it seemed to me that everything, now my whole house will collapse. I even smiled slightly at the thought. It's finally over. But surprisingly nothing happened. The cracks joined in the ceiling and froze. A cold wind was blowing through them now, sweeping leaves, sand and all kinds of rubbish from the street. It became damp and cold in my house.

I was chilled. I wanted to curl up and close my eyes. Fall asleep. Only sleep could be salvation. Only there, I did not see all these new things, this devastation.

Despair noticed it. It deftly lifted the stone slabs from the floor and placed them on my chest. I felt how this powerlessness and hopelessness pressed me to the bed. Instinctively I tried to push them away. I'm strong. I can. There is so much life in me! But she couldn't even lift a finger. No strength left.

I froze under this weight. Maybe if I don't show signs of life, despair will go away ?! I will become uninteresting to him. Why would he be dead ?!

Even in this state, I gave birth to hope. Bulk, they have a strong smell. It's hard not to notice them. As soon as she was born, despair instantly smelled her! It rushed to me, grabbed my hope and squeezed in its bony hands.

“Again you are for yours ?! How long can you do this ?! Don't you understand that there is no place for this rubbish? Ugh, the whole house stinks again!"

I felt tears flowing down my cheeks. So much. Rivers. It seems under me there was a whole sea of these tears. And the plates that lay on top of me only accelerated my immersion in these waters. I was drowning …

My lips silently screamed "Help!"

“Nobody will come. No one will save you. - as if he heard despair. - Stop resisting. Tony.

I drowned."

Dealing with despair is one of the most difficult things in human life. It asks questions and begs for an answer; it seeks and very rarely finds a way out of the vicious circle of hopelessness.

During such a period, a person may even think about death, so there is no clearance and no end to such a state.

But even thoughts of death are thoughts of change.

And this is important to realize.

Even being at the bottom, we still look up into the sky.

The challenge, born of despair, is not to stop fighting, moving from the position of the victim to the position of the person who is able to overcome difficulties, the person who is the hero of his life.

And perhaps it is important for me to say that on this path it is not necessary to be lonely. Even superheroes had someone nearby, for example, Batman Robin)

Psychotherapy is both support and support, especially in those periods of life when we are drowning in the waters of despair.