How To Get Over Pain And Despair Easier: Methods And Recommendations

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

First - about the experience of pain and despair in general. There are, in my opinion, two important points that it would be good to know and remember for a person in a state of crisis

First, in pain and despair, you can somehow settle down and live this state in a special way. Second, and just as important, the pain will end. Necessarily and without options.

I will not be original and will give a hackneyed metaphor with the weather. In the inner world, just like in the outer, there are different weather conditions. Rain (in our case - pain) also happens, necessarily.

BUT. You can get caught in a downpour, where the icy hail hits - and stubbornly walk forward barefoot, feeling how calves are driving in icy water, dry prickly bronchitis flares up in the chest, the body is exhausted by blows of ice and there is only one end - to stumble over the next pothole, finally to fall and die.

A very colorful, traumatic and auto-aggressive way to live your life. Sometimes, by the way, it is useful - with the aim of later discovering that you don't want to SO anymore.

And you can do it differently. Stop and look around - is there any place to hide from the hail? Can someone put you under their umbrella? Is there a store nearby with an assortment of rubber boots - albeit not very elegant and still in a different size? Is it possible to jump under some roof, is there a bus stop nearby that will take you to someone's (even if not your) house?

Do you feel the difference? Or - automatically, insensibly wander - and know that it will always be so. Or - go into raging bad weather, look for ways to take care of yourself and remember - the weather is always changing, the rain will end soon, and there will be an opportunity to warm up and relax.

And now - specific, practical ways to deal with pain and despair.

1. Notice

When suddenly something that did not hurt before begins to ache in the body; when there is a lot of tension in the face, and it is already somehow difficult to breathe; when it turns out that there is only enough strength to not cry; when you don't want anything, it scratches in your chest, and the world gradually takes on a gray color - not to go further on the remnants of stubbornness, but to notice and understand - something is happening. And then it would be nice to stand and take a closer look - what exactly.

Of course, not all markers are given here, and they are also different for different people. But knowing your markers of coming or repressed pain and despair is a very useful thing.

2. Organize support and people

It is better, at least, to call, and as a maximum, to come personally to someone close, and not to cope on your own. Better for many reasons - and not so scary, and not so lonely, and immediately there is someone to rely on.

Therefore, I definitely recommend that during periods of life's difficulties, have in your head a list of people who can withstand your pain and despair, you are appreciated and respected, and they are ready to devote time to you. Friends with similar experiences are psychologists. Right here in the list in my head, or better - on a piece of paper. Because in moments when it's really bad, the brain refuses, contacts fly out of the head and the habit of being alone and / or not noticing oneself wins dry.

Therefore, at a critical moment, we take the phone, call our loved ones, check the situation and talk about how we are in our souls. Little by little, little by little, we unwind what is bursting from within, listen to questions, answer, meet with experiences that overwhelm the soul and create pain. We do not delay, because psychosomatics is more difficult to treat.

3. Meet pain and breathe. BREATHE. And breathing again is a lot

Breathing is generally a very useful thing, thanks to it we live, if someone does not know. And it is thanks to breathing that the pain can be experienced quite simply - because inhale-exhale, inhale-exhale is a very good cycle. Inhale - breathed in fresh air, gained strength - and exhale - exhaled from the chest-body-eye-soul excess, which in the body no longer fits and asks out with screams and tears.

In the case when it has already covered, when it rolled over and seized with pain - the sweetest thing is to breathe-yell-cry, as you want - loudly, with strength - you get tired faster, and your strength ends, and the crying passes, and behind it comes peace.

4. Remember with all your might - it will end, much faster than it seems. And it will be MUCH easier

When I was working with pain, my own or someone else's, and when I saw other people's work, the most acute moment of pain did not last even 15 minutes. Because the body is not made of iron, and cannot stand much - it is quite difficult to cry and experience more than the given time. So remember - it will hurt, it will be unpleasant - but not as long as it seems. If you allow the pain to be, then everything will be over soon.

And then there will be peace, and a lot of room for other experiences. When you REALLY live through the pain, things become much easier. It is everything - the mood, state, life situation (at least a look at it). And a lot can be changed and done when there is strength and mood - that is, when you let go of the body and let it experience what it asks for.

5. Walk, move, live

Sometimes there are times when crying is not possible. There are simply no tears. And speaking and explaining to someone what is happening to you also seems like an unattainable task.

And then the movement can save. Go somewhere far away (with a fully charged phone in your hands!), Wash-clean-clean, play sports - do something that takes and draws energy from the body, reduces heat and removes heaviness.

This method does not bring any great existential discoveries. But the fact that after a long, grueling physical activity, you will most likely want to eat and sleep - almost certainly. And it's already great when you want something. This is life.

6. Have a way to slow down. At least - to know what he really is

Remember Scarlett? "I will think about it tomorrow..". Sometimes you really need to stop and postpone your stay.

The method can be different - medications prescribed by your doctor, switched off phone and TV, on the contrary - switched on TV with the stupidest series, handicrafts, cooking, 24-hour sleep - whatever. Just rest and stop, just a step away from pain and despair - if you already have a lot.

Sometimes the very knowledge that there is a way out or a stop screen in your subjective reality already brings relief.

Knowing how you can brake is great. Because in the most difficult, most desperate situations, you can definitely rely on your experience of stopping, after which a new day comes - and it is usually a little better than the one that was yesterday.