2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The word must destroy everything and always
"Such a person, actively demanding love from the world and striving for it, often turns out to be unhappy in life. Because with this conviction comes heightened anxiety -" What if I don't like it? " "," Suddenly, I'll make a mistake and do something wrong? !!"
"Where are you doing / doing my thing? !!!" The totality of one's own righteousness does not allow compromises, which harms any relationship in which “WE” is always important to put above “I”. Actually, because of this, many relationships fall apart..
His conviction “everyone should love me” (help, not refuse) or the conviction “everything should be as I want” came into conflict with reality.
In fact, this means that a person simply refuses to accept the world as it is, and puts forward certain requirements for the world. Moreover, if you dig deeper, it almost always turns out that in the depths of his soul a person speaks exactly as follows: “The world should be honest and just in relation to me”. No more, no less. That is, behind all this, there is a certain feeling of one's own exclusivity, particularity, pride, perhaps. In this regard, such a belief has much in common with a person's belief that everyone should love and support him."
In fact, it's more like you have to solve my problems so that I feel comfortable and I feel good surrounded by care and attention. that is, to confirm its importance. And sometimes also manipulation and blackmail, if the desired is not fulfilled. Run, cry, moan, beg - "well, please solve my problem for me, I'm so helpless", if a person for some reason refuses, the role of the accuser is already included, although the fear of helplessness still lives inside, the picture is very similar - like a sniper, who sits in the bunker, and periodically fires back from there.
And this program "everything will be as I said," that is, and when a person's ideas do not coincide with reality, he is offended (in reality, because he does not understand why this is happening) hence the blocks in the heart, as well as diabetes mellitus. Moreover, this can be traced in many areas of life when communicating with people, including in personal relationships, and if you don’t like what comes into your life, it’s time to reconsider your beliefs and honestly admit to yourself that this is just an illusion that everything is good in your life and it suits you. It's time to adequately and honestly look at the situation as a whole, otherwise you are simply deceiving yourself.
Inadequate self-esteem entails a position - someone must give, make a choice for you, decide for you, and you still choose from this assortment (but after all, someone must provide this assortment), suddenly that will come up. Thus, there is no clear goal and understanding of what you need and what you want.
The opposite of people prone to self-blame is those who tend to blame others for all their troubles.
At first glance, the person who blames others is more successful in life. If someone who feels guilty sometimes looks downtrodden, helpless, pulls his head into his shoulders and huddles into a corner, then the “accuser” looks confident, acts aggressively and assertively, “takes the bull by the horns” and gets his way. However, deep self-flagellation continues to gnaw deeply from within such a "winner"
This condition is characterized by:
-
a feeling of dissatisfaction, a spectrum of emotions from irritation to rage, expectation of some action from others: from creating silence, buying groceries to getting up at the time you need in the morning. In addition to the indicated signs, this condition can be identified at will, so that loved ones themselves guess what you need or, in extreme cases, run to perform at the first request. Refusal is not acceptable. And if it happens, it is experienced as humiliation, helplessness, resentment.
- Such states can be recognized by chaotic attempts to get something for yourself, to benefit from everything and everyone. People are divided on the basis of necessary and unnecessary, you need to love people only for something and how the received does not bring satisfaction and something else is required.
Sometimes even physical illness can arise, as if by suffering, seeking love from other people. It would seem that you just need to show care and attention to people in order to get the same in return, but here is the conviction "everyone owes me" under which the dependence on this attention is hidden in order to feel significance or importance. And if the desired for some reason is not available, then there are such feelings as anger, disagreement with the situation (because you cannot change it) and stubbornness that destroy you
from the inside. And also this same belief provokes disagreement with this state of affairs and a feeling of injustice and resentment, which in turn causes heart disease. And this is worth thinking about.
You just need to understand that no one owes anything to anyone, even you owe nothing to yourself.
Nobody should solve your problems, but you are strangers too. If you want to help a person, help without expecting anything in return.
Otherwise
when "you owe" (that is, when there is such a conviction, everyone owes me), you constantly expect something from others, expectations appear, if expectations are not met, then disappointment comes, and disappointment leads to resentment, guilt, or blaming the other for all sins.
Moreover, by this conviction, you send a certain request and it returns in debts already in the material world, what you give is what you receive! Perhaps having received such a lesson, you will already begin to think about it.
To start understanding this situation
you need to determine in some area of your life stagnation has arisen, which deprives you of the joy of life. What is the reason for this stagnation - with a certain situation or with a person? Since you yourself allowed this stagnation to appear, try to reconsider your beliefs, instead of blaming someone or a situation for everything.
… Remove the feeling of "internal debtor"
If you have debts or loans, they can drain a lot of your energy. Because, as a standard, you think that you take it from yourself, take what you need, and give it there. This chain needs to be rewritten.
The main trick is to remove the feeling of burden, so that you feel lightness every time that you give money there.
And the most important thing is to understand that no one owes anything to anyone. even you don't owe yourself anything, no one should solve your problems, but you are strangers too. If you want to help a person, help without expecting anything in return.
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