The Subtle Science Of Persuasion By Bernard B

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

My dog's name is Bernard Black. In fact, his pedigree contains a long and tricky name and a list of the exhibition achievements of his ancestors up to the seventh generation, but I named him exactly as indicated above. Why Black is, without further ado, he is black, all black, with a white spot on his chest, and Bernard in honor of Bernard Black from the TV series "Black Books", an infantile sociopath whose daily diet consists of alcohol, cigarettes and misanthropy in equal proportions. How he manages to remain charming at the same time, I do not know for sure, but since we are all, to some extent, a “lost generation”, he makes me sympathetic to the fact that he tries to preserve his integrity by any means, does not allow himself to be turned into "Impersonality" for the sake of the capitalist machine. Probably, he would be a godsend for a psychotherapist - an experimenter, one who is curious about people and their motivation, and not money received for work. I don't know if there are any, but in fact, we are talking about a dog at all.

For convenience and to reduce the degree of pretentiousness, I will call the dog "Beinichka", as this is what I often call him, I ask you to pay attention to sarcasm, although about the same often I call him a slightly unprintable word meaning the part of the body on which we sit because Boenichkina's self-confidence periodically goes beyond all the boundaries of my humble human understanding.

Observing him leads almost any person to the thought that Bienichka, if not the king, then at least the crown prince of the area in which he lives. Everything is his. Roads, bushes, fields, riverbanks, grass, garbage dumps - oh, especially garbage dumps! You cannot be considered a truly pure-bred dog if you calmly walk past a heap of garbage, the smelly the better, and even cling to a piece of pizza the day before yesterday, which was thrown out by one of the visitors of the local fast-food (is there such a word at all?) Eatery it is necessary as if your bright future depends on it, and no attempts of the owners to unclench your jaws will be crowned with success. Boinichka is handsome, slender, light-footed; any ballerina would envy his grace, and an experienced yogi would envy his flexibility. He is curious, easy-going and charming. Let's just say that he leaves no one indifferent, and even people who do not love dogs in general or the breed to which Bienichka belongs, in particular, cannot but be touched by his charming face, expressive ears, expressing bright and changeable emotions, and funny habits …

One of the qualities that both angers and admires me in Beinichka is that he knows exactly what he wants and achieves his goal in most cases, even if he receives my ominous hiss in the style of "Get it in the butt!" (the original version is slightly different, I think everyone understood). If Beinichka wants to go for a walk, then it is clear to everyone at once, even to those who have never interacted with dogs. There are several ways. If the owner - or the hostess - is asleep, because it is early morning, then you need to jump onto the bed, sit comfortably on the pillow and start licking his or her ears, or nose, or lips - no matter what gets caught, the main thing is to wake him up. If the creature being licked dodges, tries to escape under the blanket, hides its face in a pillow or begins to express itself unprintably, in no case should it stop, because the goal is for the creature to realize that there is nowhere to go, it is necessary to get up and take Beinichka for a walk.

If it's not morning, then the option of sticking a wet tongue in your ears is not suitable, another tactic is needed. You can loudly run up and down the stairs, you can bark, you can sneak up on a two-legged creature that pretends to be very busy knocking on the keys and try to pull down the creature's right hand - exactly the right one, because if you pull off the left, the creature will simply scratch you for ear and continues to pound the keys, you can lie on the floor somewhere near the creature and sigh expressively, giving your eyes and ears a sad look.

Do not get me wrong, no one forces a poor animal to be locked up for 12 hours, the animal has a garden and a door in the front door, and the animal can go out of urgent need to this very garden at any moment of the day or night, but it's not about urgent need, but freedom. Beinichka wants to go there, behind the gates, into the big world, to the garbage dumps, in the end, suddenly he will be lucky and he will be able to snatch a piece of something dirtier and smelly, God forgive me. And about the same with other desires - if Beinichka wants a cookie for a walk, and he knows for sure that there is a cookie, he personally saw how you put it in your pocket, he will run next to you and look into your eyes, or even better - will stand right in front of you so that you can't get around, and in the end it is easier for you to give him a cookie than to try to prove something there.

I often hear arguments about “who owes what to whom” when it comes to relationships between people. The husband must provide for the family, the wife must give love, the children must obey, the subordinates must obey, the bosses must pay wages, and so on.

But what, for example, does a dog owe its owner? It is clear that the owner undertakes to take care of the pet, feed, walk, provide "living space", at least in the form of a booth. And what about the dog? Not those who sit on a chain, howl at night and, in theory, should grab a bad person's throat if he decides to climb over the fence, but those who like to sleep on pillows.

My theory is that dogs are love stores, chargers with tails and paws. The more you play with your dog, fiddle with it and chatter (what a funny word), the more "love energy" it accumulates, and if you, at some point, becomes sad and emotionally cold, then it will give you this love back, jump to his knees, lick his nose and even hug him (Beinichka knows how to hug perfectly, by the way). I mean, dogs are grateful creatures, and that's why it's so great to be with them. Maybe cats and hamsters too, and fish, and birds, and even geraniums on the windowsill, but if you have not invested any love in these creatures, then do not expect anything from them, everything is fair.

With children, apparently, the same story - if you gave them enough love while they were small, just love, not for "A" or "washed dishes", then it is easy to get this love from them, but not like that that you were enough to scold and criticize, and now it hurts you that they do not call you and do not devote to your life. He asks for a quote about sowing and reaping, but I won't, I won't, and everything is clear.

So, back to Boenichka. He taught me two things.

First, it’s great to be with a happy and grateful being. I receive love and joy from him, all these jumping, kissing and squealing when I return home, absolute trust and gratitude; I am pleased if he sits next to me when I work, curls up in a ball in my lap when we watch a movie in the evening, or runs to me as fast as I can on a walk, if I call him. In terms of energy, he is the perfect woman. He is always slender, handsome, cheerful, and he always has something to do, if you cannot devote time to him, and if you can, he is already there.

Second, if people who talk a lot about their goals, desires, intentions to achieve, and so on were at least half as stubborn as Boenichka, who wants to walk or a cookie, all the desires of these people would have been fulfilled long ago.

Set a goal, go to it, be grateful that your wish came true. And yet - don't bother with how exactly the goal will be achieved. Isn't Boinichka worried about cookies appearing in the closet? His task is to ask, maybe several times, but he knows that he will always be given what he wants.

I already wrote that if we imagined that we, humans, are something like the beloved pets of the Gods (or angels, or the Universe), then we would understand how to behave so that our desires are fulfilled. If I, as a pet, behave inappropriately, aggressively, or vice versa, go into self-pity, I will get nothing but food, water and a rug at the door, and not even because my owner is an insensitive redneck and greedy, but because gladiolus. Remember this joke? If I am playful, charming and sweet, who will refuse me? Nobody, they themselves will run to give me everything to grab a piece of my gratitude and joy.

If you don't like dogs, then we can extrapolate to small children. Here you, as a parent, how do you feel when the child is happy with your gift? And exactly the one that he himself wanted (a), and not the one that early development experts advise you to buy. Yes, you are ready to break yourself into a cake, just to see this sincere genuine joy, right? Here you are for the angels and there is such a child, with huge admiring eyes, from whom you just need to be happy and grateful, and they will do the rest for you, because they love you and want to see you happy. Moreover, to wake up with the thought that today the angels have prepared some special gift for you, much more pleasant than with the thought “how tired of everything and how tired I am”, but what you think about in the morning and builds your day, any psychologist will tell you about it.

Be playful and adorable

Yours, #anyafincham