Overcoming Feelings Of Fear

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Probably, there is no such person who in his life would not be afraid of anything. Fear is an emotion that guards our safety. It allows you to see a potentially dangerous situation and either avoid it or prepare for it.

And, along with this, fear can go beyond its protective function and begin to bring trouble to a person. This happens when the force of fear is not adequate to the real danger and rather interferes than helps a person to cope with the situation: freezing when it is necessary to act, disconnection of thinking, paralysis of the body, tachycardia, holding of breath, trembling, tension, etc.

Professor Yu. V. Shcherbatykh singles out three main types of fears:

1. Biological. Associated with danger to human life and health (fear of heights, childbirth, injury, fire, natural phenomena).

2. Social. Fear for a change in social status (fear of public speaking, failure, responsibility, intimacy, rejection, inadequacy).

3. Existential. Associated with the very essence of a person and available to one degree or another for everyone (fear of death, loneliness, uncertainty).

There are also intermediate forms of fear, which stand on the verge of two divisions. These include, for example, the fear of illness. On the one hand, the disease is of a biological nature (pain, injury, suffering), but on the other, it is social in nature (exclusion from normal activities, separation from the team, reduced income, dismissal from work, poverty, etc.).

The request for getting rid of fear and anxiety states is very common in the practice of a psychologist. There are at least two levels in this work:

1. We can deal with an unpleasant condition that arises in specific situations.
2. And we can look deeper - at the reasons that caused the fear. For example, the fear of public speaking may be due to dependence on the opinions of others, the requirement to be the best in everything and everywhere, inadequate self-esteem, trauma received earlier when faced with someone's negative assessment, etc.

In his work, the psychologist is guided by the client's request and his willingness to investigate the root causes of the problem.

Firstwhat is important to know in dealing with fear is that you have the right to feel what you are feeling. Each of us has reasons to be afraid of certain things. And least of all in the fight against fear, condemnation and criticism of oneself helps. Only on the basis of self-support and acceptance is it possible to build effective work with this emotion.

Second, what is important for us to find out - how much does the fear correspond to the real danger? In a situation of threat to health and further functioning of the individual, fear is a faithful assistant. It is important to take into account its healthy part, learn to rely on it, so as not to get into trouble due to excessive carelessness. In other cases, we can talk about the so-called neurotic fear, which is formed from the trauma of the past. If the impact of traumatic events or the behavior of other people was great, strong fear can arise in situations that only vaguely resemble what happened and, thereby, prevent a person from acting adequately and rationally. For example, if a woman had a negative experience of relationships with a particular man, she may begin to be afraid of all men and relationships with them in principle.

General strategy for dealing with fear:

1. Recognize a spontaneous fear response;

2. Look fear in the eye;
3. Find its cause;
4. Assess the adequacy of fear and the likelihood of its implementation;
5. Find resources to overcome and plan actions.

Here are some techniques for dealing with fear that you can use on your own.

Exercise "Fear in the Body"

Try to imagine where fear is located in your body. How does it look, does it have a shape, color, consistency. Whether he is moving or at rest.

After you've managed to visualize this emotion, ask yourself, "What can I do to get fear out of my body?" You have unlimited possibilities - what comes to your mind?

You may be able to breathe it out, spit it out, or pull it out with your hands. Try it now. After a while, remember this fear and check if there is anything left of it in the body or if it has gone entirely.

The separation metaphor works very well on a deep unconscious level, which makes this technique especially effective.

Worst-case exercise

If you are anxious about the future, it makes sense to look that fear in the eye. Think: what could be the worst case scenario? Write down the worst that can happen. After that, get ready - if this option suddenly becomes a reality - what will be your next steps? Write several ways out of this situation. And after that, evaluate what is the probability of this particular scenario. Knowing that we have a plan of action, even in the worst case scenario, greatly reduces anxiety from the unknown.

Exercise "All the way around"

Fear dictates certain actions to us. And if we follow his instructions, our response is recorded at the reflex level. We start to act automatically. This exercise helps to break the automatism and develop new reactions.

Draw three columns on a piece of paper. In the first pillar, write the fears that bother you. In the second, what actions this fear dictates to you.

For example: I am scared when my boss scolds me. Fear dictates - to stand with eyes on the floor and be silent.

In the third column, write a new action that will be the opposite of what you do under the influence of fear. In our example, this could be - looking directly into the eyes of the boss. If you feel numb - try to deliberately relax your muscles, if you hold your breath - start breathing deeper. You can replace fear with another emotional manifestation - rage, laughter, surprise.

After that, test your new responses in practice to solidify them.

Exercise "Support on the body"

Working with your body can help you get rid of fear. Find support for yourself in the truest sense of the word. If you feel increasing anxiety, choose the most comfortable position, place both feet on the floor if you are sitting or spread your legs a little wider if you are standing. Lean on the back of a chair or wall. Increase the distance between you and the person you are talking to, start breathing slower and deeper. You can shake your whole body (as if shaking off the numbness) or vigorously run your hand several times over your face.

When you feel social fear, communicating exactly what is causing you fear can be a powerful method. You can say, "I get scared when you talk to me like that." Or at the beginning of the speech: "While I was waiting for my turn to perform, I was very worried. And now I am still worried."

If you find yourself in a situation of emotional or physical pressure in which you have not been able to do anything to regain your balance, at the end of it - take care of yourself. Tell someone what you have been through, get the support of a loved one. If necessary, express what you feel through screaming or stamping your feet. This will allow you to release the accumulated emotions and not waste energy on suppressing them inside.

There is an expression that a brave person is not one who is not afraid, but one who acts in spite of fear. Many fears can be overcome by recognizing and then accepting oneself in a supportive and accepting atmosphere. Often, our fears are dictated by unverified opinions and stereotypes of others against the background of a critical environment. By understanding himself, a person gradually gains support and confidence in order to resist his anxieties.

If you want to get the help of a specialist in overcoming your fears, I will be glad to see you for a consultation. Together we can definitely do it!