Men's Stories. Locked Up

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

First story. Locked

“My wife sent me to you. She is a psychologist, she studied with you. Received the second higher. I have been in Moscow for over twenty years. Himself from the Kuban. My ancestors are Don Cossacks. My father wanted me to become a military man. He himself is a military doctor. He said that we must continue the dynasty. So I went to study at the military academy.

When I was in my third year, my dad was gone - a heart attack. I suddenly lost all my bearings … I didn't know what to do, how to live on. I gave up my military education. It always seemed to me that it was not mine.

I arrived in Moscow. Entered the Academy of Management. Moscow amazed me - a huge anthill, millions of people, and you are alone. Luxury and poverty are near. And I needed to find a place for myself. He lived in a hostel, moonlighting. I didn't have time for anything else. And in the second year I drew attention to Zhenya. In her eyes. The way she looked …

I'm not just in love, I'm in trouble! Time passed and somehow by itself it happened that everyone began to consider us a couple. Although there was nothing between us! She is such a good, correct Moscow girl. And I, too, are all so correct and domestic, but all the same - a boy from the village, utterly notorious.

By the end of my studies, it was time to somehow define myself. By that time I was already making money, renting an apartment. I understood that Zhenya was giving me signs: they say, it's time to propose. And I … locked myself in and started drinking!

In order to “activate” me, Zhenya began to have an affair with the first classmate she came across. I knew him too. The guys around were talking, shouting to me: “What are you doing! Do something! . But I was silent. And he worked, worked, worked like a bulldozer …

A few months later, she announced the wedding. And I … What do you think I did instead of coming and stuffing his face? Instead of pulling her by the hand? Begging her parents to forgive me? I locked myself up and started drinking!

She gave birth to a boy. I got married quickly. The longing was terrible for Zhenya. Three years later, I learned that she left her husband. I got divorced instantly. And instead of calling her … Right! Locked up and started drinking!

Friends arranged a meeting for us during a party. They put us next to each other. They left, slamming the door emphatically. She sat and said nothing. I was also silent. Stupidly walked her home. No, this time - not locked. But friends demanded, fiddled, said: “What are you doing! Come on, do something! . And I locked myself in and drank!

Finally, they got tired of it. Do you know what they did? They put her in a car, brought her to my house and said that they would no longer tolerate this outrage. Since then we have been together! They did not play the wedding, they just signed it recently. Our daughter is already eight years old.

Why did you come to see you? That is, why did Zhenya send me to you? I lock myself from her. No, booze is not a problem, though … I think it's under control.

Zhenya is the woman of my dreams, I've been in love with her for a damn lot of years. It was because of me that she went to study to be a psychologist! And I came to you to unlock. For her. She said so: either you finally unlock, and we will live together, or I leave - and then stay alone, lock up and do what you want."

Recently Andrei and Zhenya had another girl …

Locked: Two Andrews

I do not like him. Honestly, I don’t like it. I don't even know how this is possible and whether it is possible to talk about it. His name is also Andrey! I understand, Zhenya named him, well, after me. I thought I could love him …

He does not leave his room at all. Will bury himself in this computer …

Lethargic, inhibited, wants nothing, constantly whines. Well, not a man! I don’t know how I should be with him. I constantly feel guilty, constantly annoyed with him. And Zhenya too. And against the background of Mashenka, it generally looks terrible! Because it turns out that she is my beloved daughter and "the light in the window", and Andrei …

He studies without pleasure, he has to drag him to a music school on a lasso. He complains all the time that he has a headache … In general, I don’t know what to do!”.

This is Andrei talking about his stepson - Zhenya's son from his first marriage. Zhenya, who brought her son to my appointment, told me almost the same thing. She, too, was tormented by a sense of guilt. Andryushka is an intelligent, well-groomed, developed child. I attended a bunch of circles and sections. Like all modern children, it is hung with gadgets. But, indeed, the boy was somatically weakened, withdrawn, squeezed.

After the appointment, Zhenya wanted to discuss with me, as a supervisor, a few more questions about diagnostic material related to research at work. The child asked for a computer and began to draw something in a graphic editor. After some time, when his mother and I finished, I saw this drawing.

The boy drew a huge leg with several ants underneath. It seemed that another second - and the ants would be trampled. Taking advantage of the fact that Zhenya left the office for a few minutes, I asked:

- Andryush, are you a leg or an ant?

“An ant,” the child replied.

Little Andryushka was accepted and not accepted at the same time everywhere. He was not expelled from Zhenya's new family, not at all! But he spent weekends and holidays with his own father, with his grandparents. And therefore all family trips, all joint Sunday lunches and dinners passed the child. Moreover, Andryusha also spent his holidays with his father (he was not married, although he was building a new relationship). And therefore, when Zhenya, Andrei and Masha were resting, traveling by car (they often went to Andrei's mother, to the Kuban), the boy was not with them. He appeared there only a couple of times, a maximum of a day or two.

I ask Andrey:

- How are you going to improve relations with a child who is with you … and not with you?

- So I also think that we are doing something wrong. We blame Andryushka for everything. And it should be done in justice, in good conscience. Something needs to be changed! What about the fact that I do not treat him the way I would like? Zhenya, when he swears with me, all the time reproaches that I do not love him. I’m angry because she’s right. And I start shouting back: “Just look at how I feel about him! How much I buy him, look into his room! He is not denied anything!"

- Didn't you think that you were just buying off the child?

- Yes you are right. The wife says so too. In general, her words are like a knife in the heart.

- Andrey, let's start with the fact that you are not obliged to love this child. For this he has his own father. And you shouldn't take his place. By the way, what does Andryusha call you?

- No way! Something mutters under his breath. Zhenya makes me call me "dad", it makes me cringe. He feels it and shrinks.

- He has a dad! You must agree that he calls you something.

- What if Andrei? Is Andrey big?

- In my opinion, it's okay - Andrey is big and Andrey is small. Only you need to agree with him about it. Look, you don't have to love him, but you have to accept and respect him. The boy is worthy of respect. He is in the shade all the time, does not bother you, does not cause any trouble.

- Yes, but he doesn't want to do anything! So lazy!

- Really ?! A child from a mathematical school, with a bunch of circles and sections, and even playing the violin! The fact that he does not run or jump like Masha does not mean at all that he is lazy. It's just that the boy is not sure of you, of your reactions to his activity. What if you will upset him? And then, he has no common history with you. Andrey, let me show you what he painted …

The drawing of the boy Andrei shocked:

- It was painted by Andryushka ?! Does he really feel this way? Horror, what needs to be done with a child to bring him to such a state?

Andrey left in silence. After some time, he told Andryusha's father and his parents that something needed to be done with Sundays and vacations. He offered them, if they wanted, to pick up the child during the week, on those days when there are fewer lessons, or on weekends - but not more than a couple of times a month. He explained that the boy should spend time with his mother's family, be with them during the holidays, and not go to summer and winter camps or be bored with his grandmother in the country.

Once Andrey the big took Andrey little to his work. He has his own auditing company. And I was surprised how quickly the boy got into professional computer programs, how easily he figured out with them and how many practical questions he asked:

- Wow, what a smart Andryushka! And my staff loved it so much!

Gradually, a trusting relationship began to be established between the big and the little Andrey. Having dealt with his problems during therapy, Andrey Bolshoy finally made his old dream come true: he started diving and underwater video filming. I went to the Red Sea and brought back material of amazing beauty from there.

Together with little Andrey, they edited the film. The boy helped choose the music, made the credits. He asked his stepfather for permission to show this film at school: he said that the teacher invites them to tell interesting stories during school hours, sometimes their parents come to them. Then Andrey the big one suggested:

- Do you want me to come to you and tell you about my trip myself? Let's show the film …

- Really, you will come ?! Will you have time? Will it be convenient for you?

Later Andrei said:

- You know, no one has ever looked at me with such admiration and pride! I remembered myself. My brother and I looked at our father in the same way. Marvelous! Such a grateful boy! He was so worried, met me downstairs in the hallway, took me to class. He fussed so hard, as if he didn’t fully believe that I had come to school for him!

Once Andrey told me that sometimes "Zhenya gets sick."

- What do you do in such cases?

- I take the children in my arms and pull them out of the house! More often it is brought in before parental meetings and concerts at a music school. Here's what I decided to do: before the next meeting of Andrey, so that Zhenya would not go there, I came to the teacher myself. In the morning, fell like snow on your head! He said that we would not be able to be in the evening, so he came to find out how the boy was doing at school.

Andrei with a laugh told how surprised the teacher was when he went to her office. At first I was so confused that I only repeated: "Oh, nothing, good boy, clever …". Then she started up, began to tell that he did everything wrong, did not try, was lazy …

- Then I realized that Andryushka was talking about her. She starts up! “At first it’s normal, then it’s going to start! You need to be able to run away from her in time! I didn’t have time, I’ll be smarter next time. I told her: if you have any problems, contact me personally. I gave the phone number. Played along … well, like, a guy needs a man's hand. Went up in the other direction, began to say that he was a good boy, unspoiled, clean, kind. We said goodbye to our friends.

For the next May holidays, Andrei brought the children to his mother. And he and Zhenya went to rest. On the way back, when he took Masha and Andryusha, he was moved by the tender relationship between little Andrei and his grandmother. On the way home, in the car, the little one said to the big one:

- Grandma told me about my grandfather, showed me and Masha his photographs. He fought, was in Afghanistan! How many people he saved! It is a pity that we did not see him. I just can't decide what to become: a military doctor, like my grandfather, or an economist, like you! My grandmother told me not to rush, we already have a surgeon and an auditor, we can think of something new.