Cheating Stories. Family Psychologist History

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

I will tell you just one story out of many.

"Double play of a mistress."

Oleg, a wealthy married Muscovite, in his early forties, regularly visited the capital of one of the regions on his official business. It was there that he fell in love with an unmarried girl Irina, who was twenty-eight years old. Irina worked as an economist in the firm with which Oleg worked. A whirlwind romance began, which lasted a little less than a year. It is not known where this all would have come if Oleg's wife had not found out about this relationship. She was a co-founder of her husband's business and had a very strong character. Threatening to destroy the family business, the wife managed to end her husband's love affair. The wife's asset was the presence of two joint children, sons at the age of nine and thirteen, as well as a single position of all relatives on the rejection of a mistress. In addition, during this period, the economic crisis of 2008 was raging, the man who went on a spree did not feel himself firmly on his financial feet.

Ultimately, sanity won out over basic instinct.

However, as the life and practice of my work shows:

Love cannot be defeated, it can only be paused

Oleg deleted Irina's number from his mobile, put it on a “black list” in social networks, stopped visiting the city where the girl lived. Peace in the family as a whole has been restored. However, unfortunately, Oleg's wife did not make the necessary adjustments to her female behavior. First of all, it was about intimate relationships. A successful and physically active man clearly received less in bed, which retained the prerequisites that once pushed him to treason.

Underestimation by wives of the importance of sex for their husbands is the main reason for their subsequent cheating.

Two years later, Oleg's wife, who, like most jealous wives, secretly from her husband regularly monitored the account of a former competitor on social networks, found out that Irina had already married and even had a child. She informed Oleg about this in order, in her opinion, to completely bury his possible hopes of restoring communication.

Unfortunately, the news that the mistress had a child also reduced the wife's willingness to have a third child. The fact is that both before his betrayal and after reconciliation with his wife, Oleg offered his wife to have a third child, since the financial position of a respectable couple quite allowed this. The wife, who at the time of reconciliation with her husband was thirty-seven years old, at first, in a temper, promised her husband that the child would be born. However, not having her own motivation for further childbearing, she considered that her husband would completely manage with two existing children, and leaving the mistress from the game removes the very urgency of the issue. After all, according to the logic of the wife, if there is no threat of giving birth to a child by a competitor, it is possible not to give birth herself.

But the logic of life turned out to be more complicated and confusing than the respected wife imagined. Two years later, that is, four years after the end of the described story of treason, Oleg accidentally met Irina at the Moscow airport. The man flew to some region on business, and Irina flew in transit to rest in Turkey. Due to the fact that Oleg was alone at the airport and Irina was only with a child, the meeting turned out to be extremely emotional. Irina explained to a former friend that her marriage was not done out of love, but was only an act of despair to forget Oleg. The birth of a child was exactly from the same series. However, neither marriage nor the birth of a daughter, according to Irina, helped the unfortunate girl in love to forget Oleg. Therefore, two years later, she could not stand life with an unloved man and divorced the child's father. And now she has been unmarried for more than a year, is raising a daughter, periodically being in Moscow in transit, and all this time she sincerely hoped for the miracle of a new meeting with the only beloved man on earth. And now, this miracle finally happened!

To say that this story touched a man means to say nothing. Past feelings instantly flared up again, Oleg again began to regularly communicate with Irina. By this point in time, the man's financial position had significantly improved. Secretly from his wife, he formed a large shadow budget, from which he could easily start paying Irina the rent for an apartment in Moscow, by and large - to fully support the girl with the child.

In addition, Oleg's children had already entered adolescence (they were thirteen and seventeen), which significantly reduced the level of male responsibility for their future. And not long before this moment, Oleg's mother died, who always supported her daughter-in-law and unequivocally advocated the preservation of the family. Thus, most of the factors that four years ago worked to preserve the family, by this point in time, have already lost their relevance.

After a year of Irina's residence in Moscow, the relationship between the lovers was almost perfect. Having the opportunity not to work, the girl attended a sports club, looked great, surrounded the man with care and attention, above all - intimate. A happy man, stealthily from his wife, invested in shared construction, temporarily registering an apartment for his best friend. When planning to file for divorce, as soon as a new large apartment is ready.

The problem was that the man in love began to persuade Irina to give birth to their joint child. The girl, who turned thirty-two, who had just begun to forget the hardships of caring for a small child (her daughter was four years old), finally began to live in grand style in the capital, did not want to return to her previous state at all! Moreover, she was not married, Oleg had not yet filed for divorce, and the apartment under construction had to surrender only a year later.

What else did the girl strongly dislike is that the apartment being built through equity participation for a couple of future newlyweds was registered not to her, but to Oleg's friend. Oleg could not clearly explain to his mistress why he did not issue her immediately to the girl. Hence, the offended mistress Irina began to strongly doubt that a man at the age of forty-six, who had once already abandoned her under the pressure of his wife, would nevertheless decide to divorce.

Trying to find a way out of this dilemma, Irina turned her gaze to her work colleague in her hometown. The man, whom we will conditionally call Mikhail, was three years younger than Irina, worked in the same organization where Irina once worked as an economist. He and Irina also had an intimate relationship, which proceeded in parallel with Oleg's story and ended when Irina got married and then went on maternity leave. Irina turned out to be a real double agent: as far as I understood, Oleg knew nothing about the existence of Mikhail, and Mikhail had never heard of Oleg.

Living in Moscow at the expense of Oleg, apparently not seeing any prospects in these relations, except financial ones, Irina began to actively communicate with Mikhail. She began to convince a still unmarried, but apparently very promising man to also move to Moscow, informing him that she had already found a job for herself, would help find a decent job for him. The girl, of course, did not write anything about the fact that she actually lives with a wealthy lover. According to the official version, she herself rented an apartment and worked at home as a freelance auditor.

Unfortunately for Irina, the key point in Irina's communication with Mikhail was the same thesis that Oleg recently fell for. Wanting to finally dispel the doubts of the hesitating man, the girl wrote a long romantic message to Mikhail on her mobile phone.

The main provisions of this message sounded like this:

- how wonderful she was with him in bed, and in a love relationship;

- her communication with her future husband became a mistaken and hasty reaction to the cooling of their relationship with Mikhail;

- the marriage was not for love, but in order to forget the one whom the girl truly loved - that is, Mikhail. Irina did not love her husband at all;

- the pregnancy was an attempt by the girl to cure her mental suffering due to the lost loved one, Mikhail;

- neither marriage nor the birth of a child helped Irina to forget her past love (of course, to Mikhail);

- that is why the girl could not live with her unloved husband in the future and got divorced;

- having moved to Moscow, she tried to forget Mikhail, but this turned out to be beyond her strength, and therefore impossible;

- now she sincerely hopes that the beloved person is already quite ripe to be with her forever. And, in turn, is looking forward to when the romantic fairy tale with Mikhail will come true …

It was these theses that Oleg discovered in Irina's correspondence with Mikhail, when he took advantage of the girl's presence in the shower and undertook to read messages on her mobile phone. Moreover, he got into Irina's phone not by accident: the man noticed that Irina's little daughter (having got used to communicate with Mikhail on Skype with her mother) twice called him not Oleg, but Mikhail. Jealousy became the motive to test the girl for loyalty.

As Oleg said at my reception, when he read this correspondence, the world over his head split. When Irina left the bathroom, the man could only ask her: “Why did you do this? Why did you do this to me? Everything was so good with you and me! And I believed you so much !!!"

Irina was clearly not ready for such a turn of events. Therefore, she did not show cunning and ingenuity to the proper extent. Of course, the girl tried to turn everything into a joke, to convince the man that this correspondence was specially conducted in order for Oleg to find her. Like, it was a way to deliberately cause Oleg's jealousy in order to force the man to an early divorce from his wife and a complete move to his beloved. And in general, there is no Mikhail in nature either: this correspondence was conducted with a friend who agreed to play the role of a non-existent boyfriend.

However, Oleg, who was not at all a naive person, compared all the facts and made the correct conclusions. He rightly noted that if Mikhail did not exist, it is unlikely that Irina's daughter would have called Oleg by this name. This means that communication by phone or skype was actually carried out. What Oleg immediately proved by dialing Mikhail from Irina's phone and hearing a man's voice in the receiver, not at all like the voice of Irina's friend.

And although Irina immediately said that Mikhail is the real husband of her friend, who agreed to help his wife, in turn to help Irina, Oleg did not hear this and did not believe it. Indeed, based on the fact that there was another man, it became completely clear to Oleg why, in a year of relationship with his girlfriend, there was no pregnancy. Because, there is no reason to become pregnant from a man with whom you do not plan a future.

Obviously, the conversation between Oleg and Irina was more than sharp. This can be indirectly judged at least by the fact that Oleg, having come home, could not stand it and told his wife about everything that had happened to him. According to him, with the pain of the alleged scandal with his wife, he can heal himself from the pain of the situation with Irina. But Oleg's wife in this situation quickly assessed the situation and behaved wisely and peacefully. She again forgave her confused husband, who fell into his own trap of a double game. As a result, it did not become easier for a man, therefore, having turned to psychics and even undergoing treatment in the department of nervous diseases, in the end, he got an appointment with me.

The man's main question remained the same: “Why and why did Irina act so cruel to him? After all, everything was so beautiful with them? It took a while for the grief-stricken man to understand the feminine logic traditionally shown in similar situations.

As a rule, girls take into account the following facts:

- it is difficult to rely on the man who has already left his girlfriend once and disappeared forever;

- it is doubly difficult to rely on the man whose wife has already clearly demonstrated her skill in the struggle for her own husband;

- a man at the age of thirty is clearly more interesting than a man at the age of forty-six. Moreover, the first is unmarried, and the second is married. Especially considering that the thirty-year-old has a good education, and his current career path allows him to hope for professional and financial growth;

- without registering an apartment under construction for his mistress, a married man showed distrust of his girlfriend and deprived her of material interest in continuing the relationship. He did not guarantee her that in the event of their possible future separation, the girl would receive financial compensation for the wasted years, risking being left with the child on the street;

- the most important thing is that a married man is in no hurry to file for divorce, and this always carries huge risks for his mistress.

Oleg's psychological rehabilitation took a long time, since this man, firstly, found out about the betrayal when he was still at the peak of Love. His love, as they say, was struck with a sigh. Secondly, he was very scared to realize that those words about unforgettable feelings for him, because of which the girl allegedly could not live in marriage with the child's father, are in fact only dexterous manipulations of a cunning mistress, can be addressed to completely different men.

After this situation, according to the man, he generally began to live in a fog, where there is nothing to cling to, there is nothing reliable, there are no people who could be trusted. It was at this moment that he realized what pain he had caused his wife in his time, how difficult it was for her to forgive and forget. And he set himself the goal of compensating his wife for all her moral suffering, creating complete family comfort for her, never cheating on her again.

By the way, having gone through two attempts to assassinate himself once in the turbulent nineties, Oleg said that in comparison with the insincerity of his beloved girl, killers' knives and pistols are mere trifles. From here, we see:

Lying is also a knife.

A lie in love hits harder than a murderer's dagger.

But the most important thing that we see in this story is that mistresses can be very cruel towards those married lovers who will not be able to prove their financial usefulness to them, and most importantly, they will not show their real willingness to leave the family. … So, cheating husbands run the risk of being deceived by those with whom they cheat their wives. Which once again confirms my favorite thesis, that "by deceiving a wife, in fact, husbands are deceiving themselves."