Three Faces Of Narcissus In Children's Stories

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2024-01-15 16:05

The types of narcissistic personalities are varied and at first glance are not visible, as they are often disguised under a fictitious image, however, upon closer examination, in relationships or in therapy, they show vivid characteristics of character and behavior. I propose to consider the personality types of Narcissists using the example of literary, fairy-tale, cartoon characters, in which they are presented somewhat grotesquely, but recognizably.

Monster from the fairy tale "Beauty and the Beast" (passive-aggressive type).

Kind and cruel at the same time, as Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont writes in her fairy tale. The monster is an enchanted prince, who can only be bewitched by the sincere love of a woman. Disney's cartoon "Beauty and the Beast" most fully illustrates the character of this character. A being who has rejected the whole world lives in solitude, waiting for someone who must certainly come in order to take care of him. He, like a vampire, parasitizes on the devotion of a poor girl who becomes a voluntary prisoner, taking on the role of an involuntary victim of a terrorist master. He is terrible in his egoistic anger: "You will only have dinner with me or you will remain hungry!" Everyone around should know what he needs and simply must obey his momentary desires! Narcissistic rage is replaced by childish resentment and charming helplessness: "If you leave, I will die without you." This behavior is often demonstrated by alcoholic narcissists, as well as individuals with other types of addictions (gambling, drugs). For him, loneliness is completely intolerable, although in relation to loved ones, he demonstrates psychological sadism, cruelty (disrespect and disregard for the interests, autonomy, needs of a partner, belittling of dignity, insults) and cynical indifference. The attitude towards himself and his actions is not distinguished by special criticism, although sometimes he still notes that next to him you need to show maximum patience and acceptance, and then, perhaps, he will turn into a Prince if he cope with feelings of guilt and the self-destructive feeling of hatred to yourself..

The tale ends with a wedding, but Beauty does not know that in the morning she will wake up again with the Beast.

The monster is the son of despotic, domineering parents, in whom the mother often played the role of the despot, and the weak father was forced to obey her, in order to preserve the mother's love, the child was forced to identify with her. But a rearrangement of roles is also possible - a weak mother and an oppressive father, the result is the same, with complications in sex-role development (homosexuality, transsexualism).

2. The Snow Queen or Elsa from the cartoon "Frozen" (paranoid personality)

Here, in whom omnipotence and narcissistic grandeur are fully revealed! Little Elsa was taught from childhood that she was a special child, that she had a gift, which, at the same time, she had no power to control, and therefore it was forbidden to use it. Well, what remains for a little girl who knows about her capabilities, but cannot use them and openly declare her individuality ?! What can she think, if even the closest people - mother and father are afraid of her? There is only one way out - to hide from the whole world in your room. “Don't open it, keep a secret, be a good girl for everyone, lock all your senses,” sings Elsa in her “anthem of liberation from inhibitions”. This song and the corresponding plot are a vivid illustration of the liberation of the individual from internal "shackles" - the prohibitions to be oneself, the declaration of one's own right to self-assertion, at the cost of abandoning close relationships. It is better to leave everyone, to abandon relationships, than to experience constant fear of the negative assessment of others, because they still will not understand my "peculiarity", will not see my grandiose abilities, which means that they are not worthy of being around. The main pattern of behavior of this type of Narcissus is avoidance of deep relationships, fear of rejection of the real one, the projection of negative parts of the ego onto others, the internal attitude “Everything is against me” and only alone with herself does she feel like the impeccable queen of the world of cold, which is limited by the walls of the ice castle.

The family of this child is cold, stingy with support, joy from personal achievements and discoveries of the child, parents. They ignore the child's success in his small but important life events, unconsciously competing with him, competing in superiority in strength, intelligence, dexterity, severely punishing him for not meeting the expected "standards" that, in their opinion, the child should meet. He feels that he is not noticed, as if he is not in reality, as a result, the child begins to feel "invisible", there is only one way out - to go into the world of fantasies (up to psychotic ones), where he can build his own alternative world in which he feels yourself loved, needed, significant, alive.

3. Queen (phallic Narcissus) - the tale of Snow White and her stepmother - the Queen

This type is fixed on their appearance and everything that is associated with the external attributes of superiority and perfection: clothes, car, apartment, yacht, handsome husband or beautiful wife. "I am the loveliest in the world, all blush and whiter, and her mirror replies: you are beautiful, no doubt about it!" - in the analogue of the national fairy tale, the queen asks and the mirror confirms her inimitable beauty. Only one thing spoils the life of the Queen - the young beauty Snow White, whose beauty causes envy and the desire to destroy her. This type of narcissist is very common among public, famous people. Men of this type have a pronounced masculine appearance, emphasize their muscles, for them their own body is a phallus, which they are infinitely proud of. Women also have a bright, attractive appearance, which takes all the time free from conquering a phallic man to maintain it. If these two personalities find each other, their romance becomes a public event, illuminated and accompanied with a grandiose scale and extravaganza, and after they achieve and receive everything from each other, they part with the same grand conflict, the division of property, children and dogs. … Behind the outwardly attractive facade there is a personal emptiness, a lack of a mature sense of duty and responsibility for relationships, a moral defect, underdevelopment of emotional and personal values (kindness, affection, love, care, dedication), all this is replaced by an irrepressible desire to receive pleasure and pleasure, hence promiscuous relationships (frequent changes of sexual partners), cheating on a spouse, prostitution, manipulative behavior - selling oneself as a deal in order to obtain benefits.

Relationships are built on the principle of a “mirror”, a partner or a team of partners is selected whose function is to reflect greatness, periodically receive “slaps” on the head for “wrong” reflection, if a partner protests, he ceases to be a favorite and is expelled from the environment, and a new “mirror” takes his place.

These are children used by their parents for their own personal purposes, they were put on display, forced to do what is not typical of a child, they paid exaggerated much attention to those features of the child that were lacking in themselves, thus realizing their idealized fantasies and grandiose plans, depriving him of his own personality. The parents themselves had narcissistic traits and could not provide the child with unconditional love and acceptance, they loved him for a reason, but for something, for his beauty, talent, high marks at school, any deviation from the required "indicators" was punished by rejection, deprivation of attention, cares, the child was forced to adjust to parental "standards", losing the inner sense of the right to just be, to be as it is.

If you carefully observe the behavior of these characters, you can identify common features that correspond to generalized signs in all types of narcissistic personalities:

• the feeling of one's own inferiority, defectiveness, lack of solvency, "badness", which is hypercompensated by self-aggrandizement, grandeur, striving for perfection, omnipotence;
• a total feeling of shame for one's "badness", not perfection, protection from shame - projection, denial, repression, splitting;
• a social “mask” (false self) of success, superiority, which often manifests itself in an external demeanor with others - they avoid looking in the eyes, look “from a high”, undisguised contempt for “inferior”, not equal to oneself, faith in one's own super powers, the omnipotence of thought (I must be understood without words, any wish must be realized by itself);
• low ability for empathy, there is no empathy for a relationship partner, from which the relationship in a couple is quickly formalized, becomes artificial, emotionally cold;
• in a relationship, the alternation of idealization and devaluation, at the idealization phase - love, attraction, admiration, desire to merge, at the devaluation phase - rejection, refusal or rupture of relations, insult, humiliation of a partner, open demonstration of hatred and contempt;
• intolerance to imperfections, shortcomings of one's own and others;
• envy of other people's merits and abilities that he does not possess or believes that he is deprived of them;
• frequent changes in activity and passivity, now a "workaholic", now "Emelya on the stove", for which everything must be done by Pike, everything must happen by itself, without effort (career, study, personal relationships);
• difficulties in building long-term partnerships, family and marriage relations, conflicts in teams;
• loneliness and helplessness at the end of life.