Three Faces Of The "Soul Killer" Or Captivity Of Hopelessness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

If a child grows up in the space of "eternal criticism", then he needs to learn to quickly and accurately predict the reason for which they will be dissatisfied. To do this, in his psyche, he creates an analogue of a “disgruntled adult”, with whom he constantly checks when an intention to carry out an action arises. This situation is aggravated by the fact that in addition to conformity, he needs to suppress his own impulse, his need, adjusting it to the degree of what is permitted

Compliance + suppression of self + need after censorship = Good child with partial satisfaction of what he needs. The fluctuation in the size of this "particle" can be from 1% to 90%. The more unempathetic and sadistic the adult is, the lower the percentage.

Imagine a maze, such a large space filled with various objects. You move along it, and you periodically get an electric shock if you make some “wrong” movement or turn in the wrong direction, or touch a “special object”. There is no logic in this movement, it is a strange ritual with mysterious rules. After a few years, pain will train you to reflexes about possible and impossible, like a poodle in a circus, which jumps through a burning hoop.

The most pathological thing in this is that in ten years you will believe that you can carry out activities only this way and in no other way, and you will forget about how it was before. Your needs will also undergo a transformation and you will directly link “fit” with% satisfaction. A strange ritual with mysterious rules will become your life canvas.

The face of a "disgruntled adult", or as I call it the Soul Separator, will plunge into the unconscious, and all actions will become reflexive. You will forget about why you behave just this way and nothing else, but when you try to deviate from the "murderous course", your psyche will immediately punish yourself. Some people tell how they beat themselves in the face, undergo asceticism, and punish them with pleasure. Or, on the contrary, they allow themselves something only if they were "good".

The psyche is plunged into eternal internal conflict. On the "white" side are your needs and your potential to be realized. On the "black" side, compliance with learned patterns and punishment from the Soul Separator in the form of a sense of guilt. I will write a separate post about needs and the "white side", and in this I want to explore the "dark side".

People often ask a question in sessions: "How to see, get out of the unconscious the Soul Separator, which forbids me to be myself?"

The Soul Separator always has three faces, if you like, we can call him a three-headed Serpent.

The first head, this one described by me above, is the most difficult to catch, which is a prohibition and a totalitarian law within a person. This is the torturer, who whispers angrily: "Only this way and nothing else."

The second head is what we do in relation to other people. This is our intolerance, contempt, condemnation, arrogance, desire to hit, hatred, envy.

Let's take a look at one of the aspects with an example. For example - the thought of arrogance. "I look at this silly, relaxed laugh and wonder how you can behave like that." This thought shows us that the person who thought it (now I will subjectively fantasize, because this is an example without reference to a real person):

1. Prohibition of receiving pleasure. Life is hard work, you can't relax.

2. Rationalization and intellectualization of the world, which looks more like a plastic construction set than a spring park.

3. Fear of looking stupid, awkward. You must always hide your weakness and demonstrate only your best qualities.

4. This person was punished in childhood, for the manifestation of joy, most likely it was unbearable for a parent who was depressed, or any emotion overwhelmed the parent, both grief and joy. Therefore, next to him you had to be a plastic doll.

five. Poor contact with your feelings and emotions, they are discounted. This tells us that communication with the world occurs through the False Self, through the doll described in the previous paragraph.

6. The leading way of communicating with the world will be - control. This tells us that this person's parents were unpredictable in their emotional responses to him. This also aggravates the gap with the emotional part, all attention is directed to monitoring the external, and not understanding the internal.

Perhaps, I will finish listing so as not to overload the reader. All of these points are the prohibitions of the Soul Separator, which he manifests in relation to his wearer. Anything that you condemn or envy you is FORBIDDEN.

The third head is the search for a person who will take upon himself the execution of the "honorary position" of the Murderer and then you will not have to torture yourself. You will project your "Murderer" into it, it will seem to you that he is the one who prevents you from living. Or you will find a person who is very similar to your "Murderer" and then you will not have to project a lot into him, he will do everything himself. You will find yourself in a labyrinth familiar to you, finish thinking up what is missing and run, again feeling yourself in a familiar atmosphere and having received a resource even to get angry with the chosen object and periodically kick away from it.

Let's summarize in the "Instructions for identifying the Murderer in the psyche." You need to summarize these three points and bring out the general aspects.

1. Compliance with the requirements for yourself.

2. Compliance with the requirements that we place on other people.

3. Compliance with the requirements that we think others make to us.

Three heads growing from the same "body", from the same reason, from the same principles. Internal pain is routinely anesthetized, what we do to ourselves is not noticed by us. We habitually move through the labyrinth, confident that this is the only way to live. And I assure you that we will force everyone around us to live this way. In the beginning, we will demonstrate a "bunny", but still at some point we will not stand it and will begin to sadistically attack another, demanding: "Behave as you should!" Only this way and nothing else. " As we have been taught, so we will demand from another.

Let's take a step into an even deeper understanding of what is happening. Let's imagine the stencil "Possible ways to meet the needs." The pattern of this stencil, the route through the labyrinth of pain, that is, the usual ways of satisfying needs under the strict supervision of the Soul Separator. Limestone corridors that cut reality to familiar understanding. Now let's present a map of possible human needs. That is: "In order for me to satisfy% of my need, I must perform a certain ritual." Optimally, the need should have a fan of options for how this can be done, which becomes possible with a plastic psyche, based on the sensory part, where the desire coming from the Self is a priority. Instead, we have narrow holes, where every step to the side is considered an escape and is punished with the punishment of the thought “you are nothing”, “you will destroy everything”, “you have no right to do this”.

Now let's take one more step into the depth of understanding.

I am filled with needs, they are seething, demanding to saturate them, I am filled with passions, emotions, feelings, I WANT! I rush into reality in a dress with flounces, with bows in my hair, anticipating joy and pleasure, but in a big way I swoop down on the concrete wall of my own performance "Only this way and no other way." I fall, wiping my broken nose, with snot and tears, I feel clumsy, I hate myself for the fact that I can not do anything, I hate the world because it is cruel and people are one with this world too. I wash the dirt off my knees, put on my pajamas, lie down on my face against the wall and begin to howl softly in despair. And I see no reason why people and the world treat me this way, and I do not see my corridors, because I DON'T KNOW that it is possible to live differently. I am a locked child, well guarded by the Soul Separator who dictates the laws of the universe.

If the blocking of the Soul and the True Self occurs in the pre-verbal period, then I will rush into reality in sliders on a walker, or I will crawl holding my head, or even lie and wait, flooded by the storm of the emotional ocean, in which only one thing will pulsate: “Give me who will do it the way I need it, where is my real kind mother. And when communicating with friends, and when communicating with colleagues, and even more so when communicating with partners. Because a baby needs a mother who will tell him that you can live the way you want, you can grow up and not be afraid to leave the shelter into the world and the world has such rules.

But the main thing in all this is its own value, and I will write about it in the next posts and will tell you in detail at the seminar.