Go To Hell! I'm Too Old For That

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

Popular American blogger Michelle Combs talked about how habitual stereotypes spoil our life and the bonuses that age gives us.

25 years ago I read glossy magazines, carefully studied the sections of fashion and beauty, learned tips from the heading "sex" and "how to satisfy a loved one in 125 ways." Today, out of habit, I look through articles on the topic “How not to grow old”, “how to age properly” and other harmless and useless rubbish, and this is what I want to say to those who are now 25-30: Don't waste your time.

Getting old is cool.

I've struggled with aging for half my life, and it won. Why was I wasting my time so badly? Why didn't I immediately admit my defeat and try to just live? I dont know. All my life I pretended to be someone else: more sociable, more sexually liberated, younger, more stylish. I've spent tens of thousands of hours painting over the gray hair and weighing it. And finally I said to myself - enough is enough.

A year ago I stopped dyeing my hair. I gave up dieting, and now I only make sure that my diet is complete - one, and tasty - two. I put on 10 kilos and I don't give a damn. I did not renew my contract with the fitness club, because in fact, of all physical activity, I only like to run in the park in the morning, while walking the dog at the same time. I stopped spending crazy money on cosmetics, because for everyday makeup I need foundation, eyebrow pencil and mascara.

I am 52 years old, but I feel like 30 years old. No, I'm not crazy, I see all these wrinkles, sagging sides and age spots. I'm talking about the inner state, the state of the soul. It's just that I no longer kill myself in the field of "bring the body into a state corresponding to your sense of self." I look 50, but I’m 30 in my heart. That's it. Dot.

About people like me, they say - "not a fighter." And I don’t understand why this is bad. Yes, I chose the path of least resistance: to be happy just like that, not in spite of it.

Yes, I'm too old for much.

I'm too old to:

1. Be silent

If I have something to say, I speak, and I am not afraid to be misunderstood, misheard and do not think about what others may, of course, probably think of me. These are their problems, not mine. And if someone treated me badly, offended, offended or rude, I will not be silent, I will tell him or her: "You are a boor, you said disgusting things, it is unpleasant for me to communicate with you." And I will not think how I deserved rudeness. You can't deserve it at all. It's just that there are boors in the world. And we must put them in their place.

2. Worry about how I look

My husband (yes, I'm married) offered me breakfast in a cafe. I went to pack and found that the dry shampoo (and shampoo in general) was over. I've worn jeans twice already. And three years ago, I would have told him for sure that I was not ready to go somewhere like this. And now I thought, damn it, my beloved man is calling me to have breakfast with him. What difference does it make if I washed my hair? He saw me this morning and he wants to go to the cafe with me. Don't care what people at the next table think? And yes, I didn't iron the T-shirt. I don’t iron them anymore. They are clean. It's enough.

3. Have weaknesses

These are not weaknesses. These are my desires, and I will realize them. I'm not ashamed to read a tabloid novel, listen to Lady Gaga dancing, have cheesecake at 2 am and watch The Walking Dead on the fifth round. Because Daryl is there.

4. Wear uncomfortable shoes

Shoes - to make it comfortable to walk. It should be soft, comfortable, appropriate for the season and my size. And yes, I will put sandals on my socks if I'm afraid that my leg will rub over the long day. My leg is more important than the unbearable psychological trauma that I might inflict on someone's aesthetic sense.

5. Apologize for the mess

I beg your pardon, did you hire me to keep this house clean? Is it okay that this is MY home? I was not in the mood and I didn’t get out - what do you care?

6. Gather a crowd of friends

Because you can't invite Mary without calling Jack, and John - without remembering Laura. If I want to see Mary, I call Mary. And I normally take her refusal, if she's more fun with Jack.

7. Save up trash

I crossed out the phrase "What if it comes in handy" from the lexicon. If I don't know right now why I need this thing, it goes to the trash heap.

8. Be optimistic

No, not every person has something good. Some people are shit from head to toe. Just bags of shit. And I won't waste a minute of my time looking for something good in this bag of feces.

I'm too old for much. And I am happy that I managed to realize this before a stone slab was smashed at my head with the inscription "Michelle lies here, she did not live her life as she wanted, and died unhappy."