2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Author: Mikhail Labkovsky
I watch how the fair sex frenziedly beats over the alleged imperfections of its appearance. Men also fight sometimes, but not very selflessly - it is not so important for them to be beautiful as to earn money.
Women, on the other hand, torture themselves with diets and exercise equipment, inject anything in the face, they wear monstrous heels. It's okay. But plastic! The surgeon's knife! Such mockery of oneself is equated with masochism, and those who are engaged in this are simply unfortunate victims, ready for anything, just to be loved. Absolutely. Yes, any manipulation of your appearance from self-tanning to liposuction is a demonstration of self-doubt and a step towards narcissistic disorder. And this is a very unpleasant disorder when life is not sweet without universal and every minute approval, but better admiration, and even better adoration.
The worst thing is that for the victims of the beauty industry, the measure of self-esteem is not at all appearance, but the presence or absence of a partner of certain parameters. Speaking of partners: the lower the self-esteem of the man himself, the more importance he attaches to the appearance of his wife or mistress. Self-confident people practically do not care.
I don’t understand at all why to endure, for example, painful injections of Botox, when the whole world history, science and everyday experience are downright screaming that your appearance (as well as high moral qualities) does not play ANY ROLE in love, attraction, sex and attitude towards us from others. There is another trick. Below I will tell you what.
Well, everyone knows who John Lenon married and adored - a man who could choose any woman in the world. And now remember Yoko Ono. Her appearance is very peculiar, even for the Japanese taste.
And Paul McCartney and Heather Mills? This girl does not have one leg at all, however, she managed to marry one of the richest and satiated suitors in the world. (Also rob it).
Going further - let's look at the husbands of Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Lopez or the wives of Pierce Brosnan, Hugh Jackman, Woody Harrelson. And Woody Alain is the last wife? Not about beauty - that's for sure.
And after all, no one can be suspected that he did not have sex with the beautiful.
And at the same time, how many beautiful and very unhappy people are around. And the most beautiful (okay, sexiest) woman on earth, about whom 90% of the male population of this planet dreamed, whose portrait was carried in the breast pocket by the soldiers of the American army in Vietnam - Marilyn Monroe died of loneliness and loneliness. And in general, she had a bunch of psychological problems. And it was Marilyn who said: "I was not used to being happy and therefore did not consider happiness to be something obligatory for me."
Hence the question: do you want to be beautiful or happy? If the second - you need to work not on appearance, but on self-esteem. Fall in love with yourself with any appearance, and then your appearance can really be any! This is the law. “… You love us with the little black ones, and everyone will love us with the little ones,” as it is written by Gogol.
You see, appearance is a very subjective concept. APPEARANCE IS ONLY WHAT YOU FEEL LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR … “I like myself” or “I don’t like myself” - that is the question.
Yes, love, like self-dislike does not arise out of nowhere, and all this comes from childhood - hello to parents. If a person does not tolerate being rejected, if he is a priori sure that he SHOULD be liked by people, and for this he SHOULD be good, it is clear that he has no idea of unconditional (and the only true) love. This mom and dad loved oh, not just like that! Not because he was born and exists in the world … They did not kiss him on the ass and did not say that he was the most beautiful child in the world. Noooo. Directly or indirectly, they conveyed to him a false idea of goodness, from which it follows that love must be earned, and even better, it must be earned daily. And for this …
"I will be a wonderful hostess, I will learn to cook deliciously, I will look like candy, and then someone will definitely see my" human "talent!" - this is how the majority of Russian women reason, not necessarily out loud. Dear ones! Nobody will love you for luxurious eyelashes, borscht with a cutlet and docile nature. Love for something else! As the saying goes, "Good girls go to heaven, and bad girls go wherever they want."
Besides, don't you understand how unnatural you behave when you stupidly want to be liked? Behind this behavior it is absolutely impossible to discern what kind of person really is, but you can always catch the tension and read dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction with oneself. Normal people are alarmed and repulsed by all this. And self-confidence, on the contrary, attracts and does not let go. But it's not just about confidence. For falling in love, love or passion to happen, a person must, as they say, “hook”. And now it is not the ideal shape of the nose, a flat stomach or beautiful hair that catches you (unless at the first moment, at which everything can end). Unconsciously something from childhood, an association, a similarity, a smell, a gesture, the manner of pulling a button, the timbre of a voice, in a word, some detail reminiscent of the parental home and parent - of the opposite sex, catches on. This association, by the way, does not have to be happy. And all the tricks, plastic, outfits and virtues are powerless against this …
For love, there is no appearance, there is only character, "eggs", will, loyalty to oneself. Only this is in short supply in this world. And only this arouses interest, respect, desire.
And if all this is not enough for you, there is only one way out - to be yourself. Develop your individuality and personal qualities. Don't compromise. Well, at least not to mock yourself, not to behave like a victim!
And it is better to follow your desires, aspirations, dreams. To cultivate your dissimilarity from others and not be ashamed of anything in yourself.
Okay, the ugly little dude will say, you say everything right, and I subscribe to every word and I can read it a hundred times more, but this will not add confidence to me. What to do? To which I will answer that it is certainly necessary to work on accepting yourself in the form in which you are. Well, for example, try to provide yourself with maximum psychological comfort, respect your desires, devote time (and money) to yourself, try to enjoy life, taste it, taste it, enjoy it.
The task is to independently make up for the lack of love, to fill those voids that were formed in childhood and adolescence. Directly set yourself such a goal, consider it as a priority, vital and not wait for others to make you happy.
Others will appear in your life and want to do you well just when you yourself feel your importance. Your appearance is only your self-esteem.
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