2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
When married couples come to me for consultation, their main problem is the lack of sincerity in the relationship. When you get married, you immediately agree to live with the other person for the rest of your life, to love and accept him. But for some reason, very little attention is paid to the awareness of this moment. Experiencing one feeling, partners talk to each other about something completely different, focusing on a false goal, they say, "it will be better."
Very often, in order to understand each other, spouses may be interested in “what's wrong with you?”, “How do you feel?”, And when they hear a lie, they feel disappointed. After all, whatever one may say, but on a subconscious level we know that we have been lied to.
Telling your husband / wife the truth will not only strengthen the relationship, but also feel better, because you will get rid of oppressive thoughts or feelings, you will see that you are supported and you will not have to feel ashamed because there was a deception. The partner has the right to know what is going on in your soul, because this is your closest person.
In my practice, I often come across the fact that it is men who are insincere. Although both sexes experience difficulties in this matter, boys have a much harder time, because from the very childhood our society tells them that they must be strong, responsible, etc.
And so, the following typology of men can be distinguished who deceive women for one reason or another:
Congenital liar
This happens chronically, he is so accustomed from childhood. It was like that in his family, and the new partner was not to blame for anything at all, just "he was brought up like that."
A liar who avoids trouble
A man is afraid to open up to his partner, because he does not want to be weak, he thinks that this is the only way to avoid problems.
Lie to the rescue
He is afraid of offending his wife with his feelings, afraid of her reaction, and you think that for a wife to know the truth is too much.
All these ideas of the husband about frankness lead to serious problems. When a husband talks honestly with his wife, only then will he receive support and love from her, strengthen his family.
How does lying kill love between partners?
Let's say that love is a bank of money with 100 dollars in it. Every time you lie, some amount is taken out of it. For example, if a husband lied to his wife about financial issues, $ 2 immediately disappears from the bank of her love. And the wife will love not 100%, but 98%. It doesn't seem like a big difference, but what will happen next?
Perhaps the wife began to gain weight, and she worries about it, and the husband worries about it. But to say, this may be a problem, so he will keep silent, thinking, what if she comes to her senses. But the wife continues to eat her favorite cakes and the weight remains and remains. And now the husband boils, and he begins to reproach his beloved. Hearing reproaches, and the wife's bank again decreases the amount of dollars. But if the husband had said at the beginning that he was not satisfied with it, he would not have had to shout at his beloved now. Avoid a small problem, the man thus contributed to the emergence of even bigger trouble.
Men of the third type, who lie to protect their wife, suffer the most. They believe, and most of all wrongly, that their wives will be beside themselves if they learn something "superfluous" about them. Thus, they elevate women to the rank of "hysterics", complain that their wife will nag them, although they have not even encountered such an experience. Just think how difficult it is to live with such an attitude, and how difficult it is for a wife. As a result, such a man can leave the family, because it is impossible to show feelings, otherwise his wife will humiliate him, and does not accept. And the woman cannot understand what happened.
By protecting your soul mate, you will inadvertently make her stupid and uninteresting for yourself, and as a result, you will kill the relationship.
I hope you have drawn some conclusions for yourself and realized that only you can become the basis for creating a happy family.
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