Cinderella's Unhappiness

2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43

So it happens in life that the best and brightest intentions sometimes lead to a bad outcome. Here and here, the kindest and brightest fairy tale leads to the fact that some girls have a distorted perception of one of the most important schemes of life - finding happiness.

Probably, there is not a single girl in the world who has not heard this beautiful, kind story. Every girl in the world tries on the role of Cinderella. Few people want to be Ariel the little mermaid or Sleeping Beauty, everyone wants to be Cinderella.

Why do so many girls get stuck in Cinderella looks?

The fate of Cinderella is very much in line with another very famous story in the world, the so-called "American Dream". The American Dream promotes the reality of a life story in which a poor man becomes a millionaire in a second. Cinderella also gets her super prize with lightning speed, in an instant she turns from a dirty trick into a beautiful princess. Such vivid images of the rapid acquisition of happiness and simple schemes for achieving an ideal future settle deep in the subconscious of an unformed and incapable of analysis personality. Therefore, for a long time they will become the only landmarks in the construction of life. And, without even realizing, in adulthood, the girl continues to go the wrong way, being at the mercy of subconscious attitudes. Our subconscious mind believes in a fairy tale and follows the ideal scheme for finding happiness, learned in childhood.

What is wrong with this good fairy tale?

Let's try to build a logical chain of Cinderella's actions to achieve happiness. The stages you need to go through to reach the happy end. What you need to do to become happy like Cinderella. I ended up with something like the following:

1. Cinderella works hard and endures all the bullying.

2. The fairy godmother gives her a beautiful dress and perfect shoes for her patience and work.

3. Cinderella becomes a beauty and gets to the ball.

3. The prince falls in love with the beautiful Cinderella.

4. The prince marries Cinderella. Happiness forever.

In fact, this is an insidious trap. A simple scheme for achieving happiness leads to dire consequences. Our emotional brain (the right hemisphere, which is more developed in girls) draws its picture not logical, but bright, effective, so that the heart will fly out and tears from the eyes. Cinderella now believes in such logic, and is guided by the distorted rules of life that our children's brains have read.

False landmarks of the girl's subconscious:

• a kind girl must endure bullying and cry quietly into the pillow when she is offended (non-resistance to evil);
• in order to find happiness, a girl must patiently hard and work hard (even if you do not like this work, you need to do your duty);
• a good fairy will come and save, will thank you for your patience and hard work (someone will notice the efforts and reward generously);
• a beautiful dress and shoes can make a girl beautiful (beauty is achieved with the help of external tools, clothing, cosmetics, etc.);
• in a beautiful dress, the prince will fall in love (an ideal man can only love the most beautiful);
• the prince will save and give happiness (to find happiness, you need to marry a prince).

Faith in these schemes grows if parents and close entourage devalue the young princess in every possible way, trying to make her a comfortable and obedient child. Reality is not so sweet and smooth, but in dreams it is cozy and good

Poor Cinderella

Dresses. Among girls, the most common desire is to get a beautiful dress, shoes, all the external attributes of beauty. And this desire increases colossally if there is no confirmation of one's own beauty, parents are stingy with praise for their appearance, and those around them say all sorts of unpleasant things. When the princess grows up and stops waiting for the fairy with gifts, she begins to buy herself beautiful dresses in order to become more beautiful, so that the prince falls in love. Over time, there are more and more dresses, and fewer and fewer princes. Some, in order to become more beautiful, nevertheless, come to plastic fairies, change their ugliness for more beautiful details and wait for princes. Seemingly beautiful dresses, a complete wardrobe, it seems that the fairies have corrected all the ugliness, but something happiness is not felt. So the pursuit of ghosts continues, the girls continue to go to plastic fairies, continue to look for a perfectly beautiful dress, and think that the princes are fake today. After all, to become happy, you just need to marry a real prince. The scheme is false, so happiness is not achieved.

Kind fairy. Another common Cinderella scheme, when girls begin to work very hard and often do not care about their appearance at all, not because they are confident in their own beauty, not at all, they are just sure that a fairy will arrive and fix everything, reward for patience, work and kindness, will make you beautiful, will give you happiness. Or he thinks that a real prince is already able to see her inner beauty even under a layer of ash. Such a Cinderella, even in a family, takes on all household responsibilities, is trouble-free at work, pulls everything on herself. Cinderellas are humiliated, offended, treated unfairly, but they endure and accumulate anger, resentment, disappointment and anger in the whole world in their souls. Cinderella sincerely do not understand why the fairy does not arrive, who should thank and reward for the overwork. Why others are in no hurry to praise and thank for the efforts.

Prince. How many girls are there in the world who are sure that only a real prince can give happiness? Probably very, very much. Cinderella all over the world are waiting for their prince, rich, handsome and strong. Some entrepreneurs even make money off this by offering the Cinderellas help in finding their destiny. Even the expression, which is bright and eloquent, has taken root in the Russian language: to meet your destiny. That is, to become happy, you just need to marry the right prince. Sometimes Cinderellas get tired of waiting for the ideal and take the one that is more or less suitable and begin to remake it for the present. Others start looking for suitable candidates themselves, turning into treasure hunters. Still others fall in love and think, well, here he is my beloved, but when the fog of love passes and the prince no longer gives happiness, then Cinderella thinks if he is a real prince.

Of course, all these distorted guidelines or false ways of achieving happiness in each of us, Cinderella, are intertwined, and to one degree or another are manifested by false actions that do not lead to happiness.

Let's get the story right

When I thought about my idea of happiness, I re-read the fairy tale already in adulthood and made a lot of discoveries for myself.

First, let's figure out what kind of person was that lucky woman who became a world example, the ideal of a happy woman.

In fact, our girl is not a poor man, but from a noble family, that is, a family that matches the royal social status. The prince and Cinderella were from the same social circle.

Cinderella, an educated girl who is fluent in the craft of a fashion stylist. She has a subtle sense of beauty, which she uses to create beautiful things. And everyone in the district knows about Cinderella's professional skills, so, for sure, she even has her own client base. The girl had a profession that helped her reveal her strengths as a person and gave her the opportunity to be realized in her environment.

Cinderella works hard not because she so wants to sacrifice herself, she is forced to do work to which she does not have a heart. The girl calmly accepts the circumstances of life, realizing that now this is the only option. But at the same time, he does not fall into the role of a victim and does not engage in self-pity.

Soberly assessing the situation, Cinderella even realizes that her own father will not help her, as he is completely at the mercy of the new wife. Any complaints to the father will not bring results, but will only aggravate the situation. External difficult circumstances do not change her mental balance. She doesn't get angry.

Our heroine showed her self-sufficiency and maturity, she does not care about the opinion of others, At the same time, Cinderella knows her worth and is confident in her own beauty. Neither a dirty outfit, nor the condemnation and ridicule of others bother her, she is confident in herself. Cinderella does not close in herself and does not behave like a victim, on the contrary, she is open and friendly to others. Someone else's opinion does not hurt her in the least.

Also, Cinderella has amazing spiritual qualities of true love for people. She knew how not to conceal resentment, anger at her tyrants. A real guru of forgiveness. With her tormenting relatives of her own free will, the girl spends time at the ball, ignoring the magnificent prince. The heroine does not try to take revenge on her offenders, even when there was an opportunity to make the sisters "epic fail", Cinderella did her job honestly and sincerely.

Cinderella is already happy under any circumstances, she is the mistress of her emotional life. The girl does not expect gifts of fate, does not dream of gratitude or praise. She does not create the illusion that someone will save her from her current situation. Our heroine does what she can and carefully preserves her spiritual harmony.

Such a portrait of the heroine reveals to us the essence of what is happening and gives us a new vision of achieving happiness for a woman.

And, perhaps, the most important thing

One of the most common and exploited images of this tale is that Cinderella and all the ladies at the ball are eager to meet the magnificent prince. There are battles between the sisters for the right to be with the incomparable. All the girls want to get at least a dance with the beautiful heir to the throne, and our beauty is among them. But!

In fact, the tale does not mention that there was an interest in the young prince. And the real discovery for me was that on the first day of the ball (and there were, it turns out, there were two of them), our heroine was not at all interested in this very prince, even ignored him, although he showed active signs of attention to the young beauty. Cinderella preferred the company of her offenders - sisters, even gave the prince's gifts to them. And only on the second day, our handsome prince managed to win the heart of Cinderella with sweet speeches. It turns out that Cinderella's goal was just to hang out at the ball, and not at all to meet the prince! Seeing the prince's attention to herself, the heroine does not fall into a mist of love, does not rush into the pool with her head. Moreover, after learning that the prince is looking for her throughout the kingdom, she is in no hurry to reveal her identity. The plot of the tale took on a completely different meaning.

Cinderella's happiness is not at all in a successful marriage

No one can make a person happy. Happiness is a feeling, even a worldview, that a person gives to himself. And the more self-sufficient and harmonious a person is, the more and more often he is able to create this category of human sensations himself, the more often he can be happy. And even then, on the way there is another equally lucky man with whom love comes into life. That is, in other words, you must first of all find yourself, find your way, and love will find you by itself. Cinderella is not about how to meet a prince, it's about how to find yourself.