Panic Attacks And Separation Anxiety

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Video: Panic Attacks And Separation Anxiety

Video: Panic Attacks And Separation Anxiety
Video: Panic disorder - panic attacks, causes, symptoms, diagnosis, treatment & pathology 2024, March
Panic Attacks And Separation Anxiety
Panic Attacks And Separation Anxiety
Anonim

In a previous article, I promised to continue the topic of Panic Attacks, the fear of death, and talk about how PA can be related to separation anxiety. Because quite a few people with Panic Attacks have separation anxiety

But before you start reading this publication, please do one little exercise: try to remember what happened in your life on the eve of the first Panic Attacks? Try to remember what happened in your relationship with your husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend? Ask yourself what happened, what happened in your attachment relationship. Reading the article, you will understand why I asked you to do this exercise at the very beginning of our communication

So, separation anxiety is an anxiety that occurs at the moment when a relationship breaks down or at the moment when one of the partners is distancing itself. For example, the second partner at such moments may feel that the relationship will soon come to an end or it seems that a little more and he will lose his partner, which causes fear, anxiety, etc

Of course, separation anxiety can only be experienced for the person to whom we have attachment. Regardless of whether the situation happened unexpectedly or quite predictably, if it is undesirable, separation anxiety can arise. If we did not feel attachment to a person, then separation anxiety will not arise

Which of the people is most likely to experience such anxiety? Typically, this is common for people who had an attachment trauma in early childhood with their mother. It could be a mother who was not emotionally attached enough, it could have been previously separated from the mother, it could have been due to an illness in the child or in the mother, for example, back in the maternity hospital, when the mother was only brought in for feeding, or even this was not …

Accordingly, the child at a very deep, unconscious level remains distrustful of life. Fear of being abandoned. And this fear is directly related to the fear of death. Because for a baby, a mother is the first object thanks to which he will survive. He does not know if someone else from his close will help him or not. But he already knows his mother, because at a deep level there is already a connection with his mother, he was in her womb, he knows her from the inside

And it is natural that the baby has this fear, this horror of death, when he realizes that there is no person nearby whom he trusts, who will protect him, who will help him and take care of him

Situations such as severe depression in the mother can also affect the child. Because depression is a kind of emotional dying. And at such moments, the child feels a lack of emotional contact, understands that trust has been interrupted, and, accordingly, experiences horror before death

And of course, situations that happened to a person already in a conscious, adult age can lead to the fear of separation. When a person is faced with a similar situation of uncertainty in a relationship, with a feeling that they might be abandoned, that they have insufficient emotional connection with their partner. All these situations can cause so much horror and fear inside a person that all this storm of feelings causes Panic Attacks in order to show that everything is bad inside, inside there is panic, horror, fear. And this bouquet of feelings is looking for a way out, including through bodily manifestations

All these manifestations, all Panic Attacks speak about one thing, that inner experiences, inner pain, horror must be brought to a conscious level, little by little crush them, gradually go through all this and console yourself. Doing something that was not done to you in early childhood, perhaps even consoled you, but not enough. This needs to be done now

Accordingly, again, how are such things treated? Aligning the relationship of attachment. And, of course, I am primarily in favor of psychotherapy. Because this is the only safe method where you can try addiction, merging, counterdependency, and ultimately healthy attachment. Be with a person at the adult-adult level. At the level of "I-you" in a relationship, and be sure that this person does not use you, and will not leave you

If you feel that you have such a trauma, then choose a very reliable psychotherapist who will not close the practice in a year or two, who will be able to stay in contact with you. About which you will know that even after contacting him again, but after 5 years, you will be able to communicate with him. That your attachment relationship will not be interrupted, even if a lot of time, years, months pass. It is also desirable that this psychotherapist has his own therapy, then there is a high probability that he will not emotionally use you for his own purposes

I think you understand why at the very beginning of the article I asked you to do the exercise. Because, as a rule, panic attacks begin after there was some kind of break in the relationship, some more distant relationship appeared. And this anxiety of separation gives horror, gives panic attacks, and if you bring it to the level of awareness, then you will see and understand this horror, panic and fear

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