2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
There are plans, there are goals, there is knowledge of how. But alas, at the moment there is no strength to embody the changes in life. Physical fatigue, frequent ailments, depressed depressed mood, a secluded lifestyle, unwillingness to act and start important things, but what to start there, it is difficult to cope with existing ones … where does the energy go?
Everyone has a supply of vital (life) energy and everyone spends it in their own way. Various processes take place in the body for which different amounts of energy are spent to maintain the homeostasis of the body. This happens unconsciously, but we can control something.
When is vital energy expended?
At the physical level:
- The person is not in contact with the body by its needs.
- Basic nutritional needs, an appropriate lifestyle, a safe environment, physical contact with the accepting Other are not met.
- Irrational use of their resources, fulfillment of their own and not their duties at work and at home.
On the mental level, there are more opportunities where vital energy is spent:
- Incomplete situations, relationships, trauma
- Not accepting oneself and one's shadow personality traits, attributing them to others. We become incomplete by splitting off our parts.
- We become out of touch with our experiences and manifestations of anger, aggression, resentment, grief and suppress their manifestations.
- Wandering attention in the future or in the past, but in the present moment, in the “here and now” there is simply no person, because where is the attention there and the energy..
- Irresponsibility, including for your life. A person in the position of a dependent or “victim” is not able to generate and give, there is no such task, only to take, leading an essentially “parasitic” lifestyle. Your own energy is not needed here.
- The take-give balance in a relationship is upset. I give, I give, but I don’t replenish stocks, I start to get sick as a leak or lack of vital energy.
- The lack of flexible boundaries and the inability to enter and leave contact with another. Separate your feelings, experiences, needs from the feelings, experiences of another person. When you “merge” and there is no separate me.
- “Unnecessary” contacts and communication with people from “so it is necessary”, when we overpower ourselves, we betray ourselves.
What to do with all this?
- Make an audit of your life and the time that it takes during the day.. Finding a more rational way to allocate time and resources, delegation. Especially working mothers, it is very important for them.
- Make contact with yourself and your needs. To understand what exactly I want, what makes me happy (you), what fills me, how can I realize it.
- Take responsibility for your life on yourself, accept the life potential that is and dispose of it. Move away from the position of “victim”. Because the “victim” has no direction where, no why, no energy, it is simply not needed.
This is the main thing that you can do yourself. To live repressed feelings, experiences, trauma, to establish contact with your inner parts, to learn how to build boundaries. This is all for therapy, of course.
In the process of psychotherapy, there is an internal integration, awareness, living of the traumatic experience. Due to this, vital energy increases, its quality, because it is no longer spent on containment, resistance. Qualitative changes are taking place in life.
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