2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
You and your partner are different people. And, no matter how much you want the ideal, you may have completely different desires. "He wants to eat, she does not want to cook", "She wants to get married, he is not ready yet." You can continue this list absolutely easily.
I think that conflict is neither good nor bad. It's more about evolution in relationships. In the process of life, you change. Age, body, emotions, perceptions of other people, and your partner too. It's not easy for both of you. And you are not who you were yesterday. You are developing. And relationships grow too.
Does this mean that there will be conflicts? Most likely yes. There is a reason. But there are some things you can do. For example, understand that all conflicts are similar to each other. And you participate in them predictably enough. “I express everything or listen to this nonsense; I can't yell; I take offense and leave; I ignore; all right, everything is fine”- in whatever of these ways you do not recognize yourself, it does not lead to agreements.
Let's take a look at the possible ways to get involved in a conflict.
Avoiding conflict
You try to be calm in an argument. Know how to ignore the problem. And if something unacceptable starts, you just leave, try not to think about this unpleasant situation. You do not leave consent, not contentment and do not speak, it is better to remain silent, not to say “no”, to play for time and not to say “yes” so that the situation will resolve itself. Know how not to show emotions. In this case, you channel the forces of disagreement into leaving. The situation was not decided in your favor, but the relationship remained unfaithful. This remains possible as long as vital interests are not infringed upon.
Concession
You know how to concede in conflict and hide disagreement behind a smile. Know the necessary social rules of behavior and rely on them. Your strengths are courtesy and courtesy. As a rule, the problem is not solved and you avoid a direct collision. Maybe an explosion of discontent will happen to the wrong address. It depends on your patience. Most likely, continue to "sharpen the Cold War knife" silently.
Attack
You cannot be silent, you express everything as it is. We are ready to defend our position in the conflict, "I am what I am, even if someone doesn't like it." You openly state your opinion, disagree, and are not even ready to measure against another position. You know how to demand uncompromisingly, but it is difficult to negotiate. But this position can scare everyone away.
But if suddenly, your standard tactics stopped working. You think the best thing now is to negotiate. You want to be heard, it is important to express your opinion. Or you find yourself holding back and it takes a lot of energy. And if you don't hold back, you are destroying a valuable relationship.
It is possible to develop a flexible way of resolving the conflict with the help of a specialist. He combines the ability to distinguish between his feelings and his partner. Talk openly and sincerely about yourself. Withstand uncertainty, hear, engage in dialogue. And the readiness for your relationship to take on a new form.
Recommended:
Jealousy And Conflicts Between Siblings
Jealousy and conflicts between siblings. So why is there jealousy between children in the same family? In general, jealousy is a normal and healthy phenomenon. It arises from the fact that children love. If they are not capable of love, then they do not show jealousy.
The Danger Of Unresolved Conflicts
Unresolved internal conflicts lead to various disorders, which we will consider today. This article is a continuation of my previous notes on neurosis based on the work of Karen Horney. The article does not pretend to describe all disorders, but we will single out a few that are often encountered.
Intrapersonal Conflicts
Intrapersonal conflicts we all have it - it's not a secret. Some conflicts were once superseded by the psyche and in the current life they invisibly affect our life. Intrapersonal conflicts Are unconscious phenomena, they are always bipolar.
What Are Internal Conflicts?
A conflict is always a clash of interests. It hurts, it is unpleasant, but what is an external conflict in comparison with the "torment of the soul." It is painful and unbearable, but on the other hand, making a choice is the exclusive privilege of a person.
Children In Family Conflicts
Family psychotherapist Anna Varga (Reluctant rapists // Family and school.-1999. No. 11-12) notes that "it is equally traumatic to be both a victim and a witness of violence." For a child who sees relatives who harm each other, beat or insult each other, this is usually an emotional shock from which it is very difficult to recover and impossible to forget.
