2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
The first misconception is the belief that a biologically adult person is mentally a mature person. This is absolutely not the case. The mental age of most biologically adults is adolescence and adolescence. This is confirmed by the presence of childhood reactions, such as resentment, guilt, irresponsibility, conflict, and so on. And most importantly, egocentrism from which all destructive reactions grow. People are constantly complaining, making excuses, belittling and at the same time feeling right, even without having reliable information. It is important to abandon the assumption that all people are adults - most people are children. This must be taken into account when building communication.
The second misconception is the belief that all adults are intelligent. Unfortunately, this is absolutely not the case. Reason is the ability to think freely, logically, relying on the values of the greatest possible harmony with the world. It is easy to prove that humans are not intelligent beings. If people were reasonable, then at least they would not destroy each other and the environment. A society in which children die of hunger and disease, while there is food, and the medicine cannot be composed of intelligent people. Finding intelligence is not easy at all. We think in cognitive patterns learned through upbringing and education. This is the opposite of free logical thinking. So for now, we are quasi-intelligent.
The third misconception is that if a person is awake, then he is awake, that is, he is in a clear consciousness and is aware of what he is doing and what is happening. Alas, this is not the case. People are very often in a distracted state, paying attention to insignificant details, often not noticing the main thing. If we are talking with the interlocutor, then we cannot even count on the fact that he hears our every word, let alone count on mutual understanding. Mutual understanding in communication is a matter of conscious concern.
One of the most destructive delusions is that we believe that there is a common objective reality for everyone in which we all live. This is wrong. All that we see, hear and feel are images in our minds. These images do not arise by themselves, but are the result of our interpretation of sensory data. For the most part, people do not know how to take into account the subjectivity of their own and others' perception. And they do not seek to perceive better, they treat the world as if they perceive directly and perceive everything that happens in it. At the same time, without even knowing how much this is not so. Unfortunately, people have a rather weak, and sometimes completely disabled, ability to perceive, especially what does not correspond to their picture of the world. As a result, a person lives in his own fictional and highly distorted world.
Communication problems often arise as a result of excessive expectations for people. Such expectations are based on our childhood belief that there are ideal people described in fairy tales. In reality, there are no perfect people. People are imperfect and contradictory. This means that when communicating with people, you should learn to focus on the main thing, without clinging to individual insignificant flaws.
The article appeared thanks to the works of Vadim Levkin, Daniel Goleman and Nossrat Pezeshkian.
Dmitry Dudalov
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