2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Why do people go to psychology?
Answer existential questions about the meaning of life and learn the ecology of communication. Previously, they went to a theological seminary for this, but now they go to psychology.
Motivation for choosing this profession:
A person comes to psychology in order, first of all, to deal with himself, to find his grace and bring it to people. Having managed to help oneself, to understand relations with oneself, loved ones and loved ones, to find out how to find solutions to internal and external conflicts, and by learning to increase the effectiveness of communications - a psychologist (it is logical to assume) will be able to help others in this.
But, in the course of studying the subject, most of them forget why they came. Information on the diagnosis of psychological phenomena and conditions is captivating and fascinating. And now the newly minted psychologist is already making diagnoses to others with might and main, demonstrating his erudition - this is "overprotection" for you, and this is "procrastination", and here is "neurotic attachment."
A specialist "spoiled" by terminology, who has gained access to an additional "game", can begin to assert himself against the clientx, pronounce complex terms without trying to explain them in simple language. To make tricky diagnoses on the fly, causing the client to have premature and not yet justified respect for himself as a "specialist" and risking completely forgetting about his original goal - to help himself.
The psychologist's premature activity begins to fuel his personality and he loses the need to deal with all the baggage of internal problems with which he came to psychology. So, a newly minted specialist, carried away by the game "I am a psychologist" before he deals with his inner resentment / thirst for recognition / his own insecurity, instead of healing his own trauma of the soul, begins to rely on the institute of psychology as compensation for his own inferiority.
Therefore, it is so important for a novice psychologist to remember the primary goal with which he entered psychology and work on his healing. For this, in the space of psychology, there is a territory of "experiments on cats", which is called the tricky word "supervision" - this is a compulsory therapy that students should undergo with each other or with a more competent colleague, in order to discuss with each other and with the teacher afterwards. - "what did we do when we did it?"
This is how a good psychologist polishes his skills. After his training, it is useful for a psychologist to continue communicating with his psychologist, teacher, supervisor - this will not let him fall into the delusion about his own infallible competence.
Thus, he will refresh his memory of the role of “client psychologist”, which gives him the skill to be able to see the “shoals” of his colleagues, ask the right questions and draw conclusions, make discoveries and … feel the boundaries of responsibility of each of the sides of therapy.
Responsibility boundaries are a very important topic. Its importance lies in the fact that the psychologist needs to learn to share where his responsibility ends and the client's responsibility begins. In this he will be helped only by his own participation in the therapy process as a client.
Otherwise, there is an abuse of the concept of "responsibility" and the newly minted psychologist, naturally from the best intentions, begins to take on too much: to promise magical results, thereby emphasizing his significance. Instead of helping the client move towards initiative and independent decisions in his life.
This game with unnecessary responsibility leads to the fact that both are offended:
- the client, because he was promised that a miracle would happen easily and effortlessly, but it did not happen;
- a psychologist who was "not treated" at one time, is also unhappy that his sincere impulse is underestimated by the client.
The client, in the opinion of the "generous psychologist", should figure out for himself that it is time to show reciprocal generosity and please the psychologist by independent involvement in the work and taking responsibility for his life. But for some reason this does not happen.
It does not happen, because at the very beginning, still “at the start”, an incompetent psychologist, busy with demonstrating his awareness, is not able to become an “empty cup” in order to accommodate a person who has come to him and feel, what able to awaken the internal reserve of the client, turn on his enthusiasm.
If a psychologist has undergone his own therapy, then he has his own "I-story": history of healing / awakening / growing and has, thanks to his own experience of healing, not so much information about it, but knowing how to achieve it … Knowledge, unlike information, does not take up much space, as does all scientific terminology and erudition.
Knowledge is what exists in emptiness and leads to the acquisition of silence. When we solve a problem, we can trace the whole process. From the hustle and bustle of searching, through experimenting with ideas and information, to gaining knowledge, at the moment of obtaining a result and subsequent silence in satisfaction.
All the noise that exists inside a person is generated by her concern about the lack of what she wants or thoughts out of longing for the impracticability of her aspirations. All this hustle and bustle about the fact that something is now, not what it should be, takes up so much space in a person that he does not have "free gigabytes" left for joy. This is what he has, the joys of life itself. A person preoccupied with a problem does not contain life. He is full of reflections on life, he is not in it - this is the paradox of worried people.
Worry exhausts and de-energizes a person, and exhausted by internal noise, he is not capable of effective action.
A psychologist who has managed to help himself has that emptiness inside himself that is ready to accept a person who has come to him for help. So, being located in the silence of this emptiness, in the field of the psychologist, with the client, realizations about themselves and their lives occur. Since, reaching something, the fussy noise / brainstorming subsides in a person and attention is freed up for perception. Perception becomes of such a quality that the other person, in the process of telling about himself, makes discoveries and begins to be more understandable to himself.
Therefore, if you do not feel better after visiting a psychologist, doctor or massage therapist, this is not your specialist. Even if you do not heal the first time, but from the first meeting you feel better, clearer, more inspired or calmer - this is your psychologist / your doctor.
And no "specialist" persuasion that you should "walk for a long time and only then … once … that you want to solve a problem at once, if you have been creating it for years" - do not have to convince you not to trust your own aftertaste from the first meeting.
There are no formulas leading to happiness, because a person is not going to him. It, happiness, exists as a litmus test of the quality of life. As a phenomenon of the total balance of a person's life, but they do not go to him.
A child from birth has the ability to be happy. And if he is healthy, then being full, he arrives in him - effortlessly happy and curious about life. Only the influence of significant adults correcting the child's behavior deprives him of the constant and reckless ability to arrive in a happy mood.
Conclusion:
People in different ways lose their ability to be happy, in their own way they renounce their desires for the sake of significant and beloved people. The path of everyone who decides to restore their own supports is unique - their own ability to happiness, to find integrity and efficiency in relationships and attainment of goals. The psychologist is only a guide, unfolding for the client the landscape of hunting for his own self-limiting programs.
When a person begins to see how he himself has created restrictions on his path to freedom and happiness, understanding and enthusiasm appears for freeing his path - the path of innate power and grace.
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