2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Otto Kernberg, a classic of psychoanalysis, gave the following definition of trauma: "Trauma is a one-time, intense and tremendous experience for the whole soul, which cannot be absorbed (absorbed) and" metabolized "(fully worked through) by the psyche."
Simply put, it is something that shook you to the core. And, if this happened in early childhood, the psyche could defend itself from this crushing blow - to supplant this impression, as if to forget.
You may live and be unaware of your trauma. But one day - and usually at the most inopportune moment - it will make itself felt, like the Eyjafjallajökull volcano, which unexpectedly littered the sky over old Europe with its ash. A conflict or crisis can surface, surface, on the eve of a wedding, in a bathhouse, at a table, in bed, or when you and your couple are going to the beach, shopping, etc.
The sequence is as follows: the trauma occurred in childhood in a relationship with a mother (most often with a mother, because it is the mother who is burdened with a much larger number of functions in caring for the baby than the father, although the father, of course, also participates in the process), and then in in adulthood, retraumatization occurs in a relationship with a partner.
"… Developmental trauma in early childhood is the main reason people avoid intimacy. These traumas result from lack of parental care more often than from violence and are therefore more difficult to identify. Besides, the social and emotional needs of the child were ignored by the adults who matter to him, "nothing" happened.
Causes of developmental injuries:
• lack of parental care, abuse or emotional abandonment in the first two years of life
• abnormalities in the normal developmental sequence
• prolonged, repetitive or premature separation of the child and mother during the formation of early attachment due to illness
• daily small breaks in the emotional bond between mother and child
• repeated violation of the child's physical, psychological and emotional boundaries
• lack of understanding of the child's needs
• lack of safe and clear boundaries during the "exploratory" stage of the child.
Effects / consequences of trauma:
• developmental delays (children are "late blooms")
• attachment disorders (avoidant and anxious-ambivalent)
• impairment of cognitive performance due to lack of emotional interaction
• development of primitive problem-solving strategies involving the use of violence
• detachment, dissociation in women
• aggressive, impulsive, reactive and hyperactive behavior in men.
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