2024 Author: Harry Day | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 15:43
Intrapersonal conflicts we all have it - it's not a secret. Some conflicts were once superseded by the psyche and in the current life they invisibly affect our life
Intrapersonal conflicts Are unconscious phenomena, they are always bipolar. For example, if a person has a pronounced need to be independent, then, at the other extreme, perhaps he wants to be taken care of.
Intrapersonal conflicts are repetitive, irreconcilable inner tendencies. This is something that is not visible, does not lie on the surface
There are three main properties of intrapersonal conflicts:
- they are constantly repeated, - bipolar, - are not realized.
Displacing conflicts requires a lot of energy and can lead to symptoms that will already be judged as a disease. And if the symptoms recur, it makes sense to try to understand what internal personality conflicts are behind this.
There are seven intrapersonal conflicts in OPD-2 *:
1. Conflict "Individuation - Dependency"
2. Conflict "Submission - Control"
3. Conflict "Desire for care - Refusal to help"
4. Conflict of Self-Esteem
5. Conflict Feelings of Guilt
6. Oedipal conflict
7. Identity conflict
Let's take a closer look at each conflict.
1. Conflict "Individuation - Dependency"
The leading theme of this conflict is the theme of attachment and relationships. The main thing here is either the striving for independence - Individuation, - or, - The striving for close relationships - Dependency.
People for whom this conflict is the leading one either avoid being independent in life, or suppress their needs for intimacy and prove to others that they are independent.
The leading aspect of the "Individuation - Dependency" conflict is existential fear - fear of loneliness and loss of attachment. On the other hand, there is the fear of dissolving in other people, the fear of getting closer.
Thoughts and situations of manifestation of the conflict:
A person can say: "I need you as a person who gives me confidence and calmness …". And somewhere in the depths a thought flashed: "… don't get too close to me."
Or: "It's hard for me to part … I will do everything not to part"
"I love doing my own thing …"
Imagine a situation: a child's first day at school (in kindergarten …). Mom cries … "you can't cope without me … you need me …" The son runs home with the thought: "I can't cope without you … who else will calm me down …"
2. Conflict "Submission - Control"
At one pole of the conflict - the desire to dominate others, at the other pole - to obey (and submission is mixed with hidden anger).
The leading affect of this conflict is a feeling of helplessness and, at the same time, rage, passive obedience and a desire to contravene, intractability.
The main question of the conflict: Who is above, who is below?
In the active pole, the manifestation of the conflict will be the need to control everything and everyone. With a passive manifestation of conflict, a person is too oriented towards others, instead of being himself. Submissiveness and servility.
An example of a conflict would be dialogue:
- What is the reason for your condition?
- I dont know. You're a doctor. If you tell me what to do, I will.
3. Conflict "Desire for care - Refusal to help"
This conflict is characterized by an excessive desire for security.
The leading affect of the conflict - Disappointment, depressive states, sadness, envy.
The main question is who gives what to whom and how much? And what do I get?
We can observe the manifestations of conflict when a person seems to stick to others and exploits them, or - when a person says that he does not need anything, he completely gives himself to others, exhausts himself.
A person can give a lot and easily, but it is difficult for him to show others that he himself needs help and support.
4. Conflict of Self-Esteem
What am I like? Do I feel like I have more weight than the other person? Or do I feel inferior to others?
Self-esteem conflict is characterized by a special sensitivity to criticism and resentment.
At one pole of the conflict, a person feels Big, at the other - small. For a person, an assessment from the outside is significant.
In the active manifestation of the conflict - Man constantly emphasizes his importance (the navel of the earth). In the passive, he shows his insignificance, devalues himself that he still knows and knows too little.
5. Conflict Feelings of Guilt
The leading affect is guilt, reproaches.
At one pole of the conflict - The desire to take the blame, reproach oneself for everything. At the other extreme, there is a constant, unconditioned tendency to reject feelings of guilt and a desire not to be responsible for anything.
When communicating with a person, it may seem that either we are being reproached for something, or we are being reproached.
For example, the monologues characteristic of this conflict:
"Not a single doctor in your hospital bothered to examine me and your treatment gave me nothing …"
"It's his fault …"
"I myself am to blame … (sprinkle ashes on my head)"
"When my daughter cries, I have a feeling that I am to blame for something."
6. Oedipal conflict
In the oedipal conflict, rivalry is manifested or, the person constantly gives in.
In the passive pole of the manifestation of conflict - avoidance of erotic relationships, a person strives for relationships in which there is no place for competition. "I am unattractive, uninteresting …". Gray mouse.
In the active pole - competition, rivalry, demonstration of their attractiveness. "I am the best"
Stand out - Don't stand out.
The leading affect of conflict is modesty, fear, or oversexualization. Shyness, shyness, or rivalry.
When two people meet, you can hear conversations - Who was where? Who knows what? Who had breakfast with Gundapas? Etc.
Three are always involved in an oedipal conflict. The third may be a fictional character.
"I was always daddy's daughter and now I am daddy's favorite …"
“I was my mother’s son…” These are phrases that illustrate the oedipal conflict.
7. Identity conflict
In this conflict, a person clearly feels the boundaries of his identity, but this identity may contradict other identities.
The leading affect has not yet been identified here.
How does an intrapersonal identity conflict differ from an actual identity conflict?
For example, a person was born and raised in a poor family, but graduated from university, has a high-paying job, or married a girl from a wealthy family. And then, this person may not have the inner state of feeling confident in this environment.
Or, a woman dresses femininely, jewelry, make-up, takes care of herself, but, she is engaged in weightlifting, her muscles grow, and then - internal dissonance.
An example of an actual conflict: Woman, doctor, 28 years old. She is offered the position of head of the department. And, at the same time, she is offered to give birth to a child. This is a one-time conflict that can be resolved.
In the active manifestation of the identity conflict, we can observe that a person is not confident in himself and is trying to compensate for this uncertainty through the idealization of a kind, for example. Or abandons some kind. Emphasizes or hides their identity.
In the passive manifestation of the conflict, a person demonstrates his helplessness, indecision, confusion.
Rarely does anyone show only one intrapersonal conflict. There are usually two of them
- Is it possible to change the intrapersonal conflict during life?
- Yes. During psychotherapy
(the text was written based on the materials of the seminar OPD-2 in symbol drama, hosted by Bötz Gil (Germany)
* OPD-2 - operationalized psychodynamic diagnostics
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